Post # 1
i am new to this site and have come for some long over due wedding answers. I have this problem with a close friends fiance.
It started about a year ago when my partner and i were discusing getting engaged. Anyway we brought it up at a lunch date with this friend and his girlfriend. Talking about what we would like and how soon we were planning on getting engaged. About a week after we had lunch i found out that the couple we had lunch with was now engaged.
The lady he was dating had gone down the road and brought herself a ring and said ‘Were engaged’ !
The next month my partner and i were now to engaged!
When we had gotten home i had to start planning our engagement party as his mum insisted it was done imediately. So as i was planning i was sharing all my ideas for it with my friends girlfriend. After our engagement party they had theirs a month later. Which also consisted of all of my ideas. My friends girlfriend never asked to use any or ask if i mind that she used the ideas. But here they were in front of me at their engagement party. <br />Over the past 6 months we contuined to share ideas and information about our weddings. I told her what i would like the groomsmen in.
Then today she told me she picked out the suit she wanted for her groom to wear. It was the exact replica of the suit i wanted for our bridal party.
So my questions for everyone is:
Should i be worried shes using the same idea’s? (as we have alot of mutual friends and our wedding is after theirs.)
Would i look like the copy cat?
Is it ok to be upset about this?
Should she be more considerate of my choices when planning her wedding as i am with hers?
Thanks hepas for reading guys
xx Bunne xx
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Post # 2
BunneeBlack: There are lots of different ways to handle this:
Have a joke about how you must both have great taste! Maybe she’ll get the idea from that?
Point-blank call her out on it.
Ignore her having the same ‘ideas’ as you.
Or, stop telling her your ideas and just make your wedding what you want it.
I’d probably go for 1 and 4 😛 But maybe I’m too passive aggressive haha!
Post # 3
BunneeBlack: Keep your plans to yourself!
Post # 4
Thanks so much for the advice. I have done number 1,2 and 3. I am proceding to number 4 🙂
They are coming down next weekend again. Since i did call her out on the suit it may be a bit awkward as she vented to her FI about it and he called me.
Will keep posted.
Post # 5
Agreed, keep your plans to yourself. But don’t be surprised when there are still a lot of similarities between your weddings, because it’s pretty normal for people around the same age in the same social circle to have similar tastes and styles. No one– and I mean no one– is going to notice any of these similarities but you, and it is absolutely not worth getting upset over.
Post # 6
Stop telling her your ideas and if she asks, tell her you prefer the details if your wedding to be a surprise.
Post # 7
I couldn’t even tell you what the “colors” were or what the wedding party was wearing in the last three weddings I went to, and I was IN one of those weddings. No one cares, seriously. Unless you are, like, riding in on an elephant and she copies you, it’s safe to say that no one is going to notice. Or care.
Also, your title is a little dramatic.
Post # 8
definitely implement don’t ask don’t tell… and if they do ask don’t tell.. lol
I know it’s hard to see ideas replicated so silence is the best way to combat this
Post # 9
- Wedding: August 2013 - Wynn Las Vegas
I’m not sure why you kept sharing your plans with her after the first time you realized she was using all of your ideas. Stop discussing wedding plans with her.
Post # 10
So she whined to her fiancé that you mentioned her copying your suit idea? And then he called you to complain too? Rather childish. Definitely stop sharing info about your wedding with her.
Post # 11
The BEST thing you can do is keep ALL of your wedding details to yourself. Period. This woman sounds like she is the type who likes to copy your ideas, so if you do not want to feel like a bridezilla or have a strained friendship, stop telling her everything.
It really is annoying when you have a copycat. There’s a lot of people who would say that it is “flattering” to have someone copy you and that no two weddings are alike — but personally, I would still feel upset and super annoyed if a friend was copying all of my wedding ideas.
So do yourself a favor and save yourself future drama and headaches. ONLY share your wedding ideas with people who love and support you 110%, and if you need a place to vent, this forum is an excellent outlet to share all of your ideas without fear that someone in your circle of friends will do the exact same thing as you.
Post # 12
spiffanee: Yup he called me up saying she had a bad day. I told him at the end of the day its their wedding and they can do what they want i would just like them to be a little more considerate. I didnt ask her to change any of it. But to me – Everyone has bad days and you just have to get over it. She didnt even try to talk it out with me. Insted she sulked. All i said was ‘Thats what i have my groom and his men in. Then she said ‘oh well ill have to keep looking then’
Thats when it all started with her Fiance. She couldnt talk to me about it. >.<
Post # 13
This is just all very overly dramatic. None of it matters in the long run, seriously. None of it. You will both be married, even if the grooms are wearing identical potato sacks. Just laugh about it and GET OVER IT.
Post # 14
BunneeBlack: Hm. Honestly, I would have just started sharing with her different “ideas”. You can have fun designing TWO weddings! And the funniest part – make sure you put *very expensive* ideas in her head 🙂 Ahhh it stinks not having a mind if your own 😛
Post # 15
BunneeBlack: I’d make stuff up. Oh yes, I’m releasing crows at the end of the ceremony. The bridesmaids are wearing fluffy pink feathered dresses… blah blah blah. See if she copies THAT.