Post # 1
I was just at a party with some of the guys in our bridal party. When we were all chatting in a little group, the two guys (one groomsman and one usher) weren’t thinking about me being right there and made a snide comment about how the one is “only” an usher and is being made to rent a tux.
I’m so hurt and I feel awful! It’s my fault we had to make him an usher because I only had 4 girls I wanted to stand up with me and since the FI has 3 brothers, so his side got full pretty fast.
Also it wrong to ask the ushers to rent tuxes (paying for the rental themselves)? We figured they didn’t own suits, so it would be easier for them just to rent tuxes for cheaper and conveniently match everyone (and feel more like part of the bridal party).
Please tell me if we are way off, or if I can stop feeling bad now.
Post # 3
I’m trying to look at it this way. If I was asked to be say…the guest book attendant, I wouldn’t want to have to pay money for a bridesmaids dress.
Are you sure they don’t own a suit? What would they wear if they were just guests at your wedding?
Maybe you should talk to them. Perhaps they do have suits. Or can borrow one from somebody…
Post # 4
No I don’t think its wrong of you, itsyour decision- nobody has the RIGHT to stand up in your wedding.. except you’re mistaken about cost. We’ve found its about the same price to buy a suit from somewhere like mens warehouse that have buy one get one sales than it is to rent tuxes, and you get to keep them. They have inexpensive tuxes too!
Post # 5
@Theresa90405: Thanks! One of the ushers has a suit and one doesn’t, so I think we weren’t sure how to proceed. They already ordered the tuxes, but we may be able to cancel, so maybe I’ll have my FI reach out to them and see if they want to do suits instead? I just don’t know what to do. I definitely don’t want anyone to be unhappy to be part of our wedding.
Post # 6
@kingytobe: Yes, you are probably right about it being cheaper to buy suits. I just wanted all of them to buy suits to begin with (seems so practical to me!), but my FMIL talked my FI out of that for some reason. She’s big on tradition.
Post # 7
@sparkles_10: I’ve seen it done many different ways. But if the ushers are family members, they usually rent a tux. If not, then they either wear a tux or a suit. It depends on what you want to do. But since this guy is already complaining about tux rental (which is ridiculously expensive anyway) I would let him wear a suit. If he doesn’t have a suit, you could tell him to wear something nice, but I think the least he could do was wear a suit. He won’t be standing there, so it’s not a big deal for him to wear something different IMO.
Post # 8
I have usually seen the ushers wear tuxes (and, sometimes, they stand up with the wedding party, but behind the groomsmen…if that makes sense). I would have done the same thing.