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We had our brothers be ushers. We told them what time to be there (the earliest). They were to give people programs and seat people with 'groom's side and bride's side'. (Give them a place to put people if they say both---for us it was his side because I had more family coming). Our ushers were men, so they walked the ladies to their spots, by offering their arm and the lady's man walked behind. It was sweet.
I think that anyone can be an usher. I think that if they were dressed nicely for the wedding, they would be dressed appropriately to be an usher. An usher basically hands out programs and seats guests in the appropriate side of the ceremony space. They will also make sure close family is seating in the first couple of rows.
At my wedding we asked our groomsmen to act as ushers so that's another option for you!
PS. Yes, we gave them a bouteneire to make them appear as special to people coming in. They wore suits, but not the matching suits to the bridal party. Your girl usher could wear a coursage.
I've known ushers to wear the same clothing as the groomsmen. If you have a female usher, it would be nice for her to wear the same color as the bridesmaids. But none of this is something you HAVE to do. The girl could hand out programs as couples come in. And the guy can usher the women to their seats. This is what I've seen in other weddings, but do what you want :)
Do the ushers count as part of bridal party and end up in the portraits then? I'm wondering if we want ushers at my wedding as well...we're interfaith and Jewish ceremonies don't usually have ushers.
The ushers can be in photos. Or you can choose to leave them out. It jus depends on what you want for your day, basically direct your photographer to what kind of shots you want and if you want them in or out. If they're not family or really good friends I would usually leave them out of photos (depending on their dress) but that's my own opinion.
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We're thinking of having FI's sister and brother serve as our usher/usherette (assuming that is what she would be called). Would this be appropriate? What would they be responsible for? What would they need to wear? How about flowers, should they have some? We're pretty clueless and thought we'd come to the bees!