Post # 1
My guy and I have begun talking seriously about getting engaged! I think we’ve settled on a good plan for the engagement ring that reflects our values, but I’ve never heard of anyone else doing it this way and wonder if I’m being weird about it.
We’re not super traditional folks at all. Initially I didn’t even want a traditional diamond ring for a variety of reasons. But he seems to want to give me something as a symbol, so a ring it is.
There are several simple, pretty solitaire heirloom engagement rings in the family and we are considering using one of those. But there’s another option. I already have (and adore) a beautiful sapphire ring that I inherited. It has never quite fit properly and I’ve always had plans to get it resized and wear it as a right-hand ring. But now I think it would also make a lovely, meaningful engagement ring.
Given that I already did not want a typical ring and was happy with the idea of an heirloom, I think it’s actually a perfect solution. But I don’t want to deal with people thinking my guy somehow “cheaped out” by giving me my own ring, even if I don’t really see any difference between this approach and a family heirloom.
So, Bees… using an heirloom ring I already have for my own engagement ring. Sweet and meaningful, or “cheap” and totally bizarre?
Post # 3
I think it’s totally fine! Try not to worry about what others think. Many brides use an heirloom whether it’s from her family or his family. I’d call yours an heirloom – that just means previously owned and from one’s family right?
Would you like him to “propose” with the ring? Or would you like to just claim yourselves engaged now and start wearing the ring? That is something else to discuss with your BF.
I was clear to my BF (now H) that I really wanted a proposal, despite the fact we were talking engagement and planning for it.
Do you still want a wedding band to go with it? I opted to NOT get an wedding band, and just take off and reuse the e-ring for the ceremony. I only wanted one ring (also nontraditional).
Post # 4
Sweet & meaningful! I say for it!
Post # 5
Not everyone has to know every detail! If someone asks you can always say “it’s an heirloom” (which is true!!) and leave it at that! Besides, your SO will be buying your wedding band so it sounds like the best of both worlds!
Post # 6
@wrkbrk: I agree. There’s nothing to be ashamed of, since I think it’s a great idea to use the ring you have and love, but people may be snarky and judgmental. It’s best to keep the explanation short.
I love that you haven’t been wearing the ring since it needs to be resized. That is cool because it’ll be “new” to you and special.
Post # 7
I know of several ladies that used heirloom rings as their e-rings. Go for it!
Post # 8
It’s basically just a family heirloom, lot’s of people use those, I don’t think it matters that it was already in your possesion for a while
Post # 9
I think it’s a lovely idea to use a family heirloom, and it doesn’t matter that you already own it! I am planning on using my grandmother’s plain gold wedding band when FI and I get married even though I’ve been wearing it every day on my right hand since high school. I would have been just as pleased if he would have used a family ring for our engagement had one been available, but unfortunately they were all passed down to other family members. If you say that it’s a family heirloom, most people will think it’s especially meaningful and sentimental. If they happen to ask who it was passed down from they’re probably just interested in the history behind it… and if they think your guy is being “cheap” then they’re just materialistic busybodies – who cares what they think!
Do you wear earrings and/or pendants? If you’re really concerned about what other people might say, or if your guy would like to give you something in additional to the symbol of love on your finger, he could pick out a pair of earrings or a necklace that matches with the ring and present the pieces together when he proposes. That way if people ask, you can not only say that the ring is an heirloom (and therefore EXTRA special!) but that your FI has amazing taste and picked out the earrings/necklace himself.
Btw I LOVE sapphires and think they’re timeless 🙂
Post # 10
I think if you already have a ring that you adore then wear it! I certainly do not think it’s “cheap”. It’s better to have something you want to wear than something you feel obligated to wear just to appease other people.
Post # 11
Can you post a pic, we LOVE ring porn 🙂
But yes, I think it would be totally fine to use it!
Post # 12
And i see no problem with that, if its what you want!
Post # 13
I think it’s a great idea 🙂
Post # 14
Girl you do whatever the heck you want to do. No one matters but you and your FI when it comes to the engagement. Whatever ppl say IGNORE them and be happy. Your life -your rules- your happiness 🙂
Congrats too by the way and welcome!!!!!
Post # 15
if YOU think it’s your engagement ring, it’s your engagement ring. That’s IT.