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Wow... I can't WAIT for these things to happen to me.
I'm sure it's easier said than done, but can you inform the people that you have a strict guestlist due to budget or space at the venue?
I hear ya! This is happening to me too. I would say something if it will put you over budget or worse over capacity at your venue. Could you have help from your mom or another close family member? Tell your sister NO!
@reason00 - We have. After I told this to one cousin who is usually super sweet, she told me that neither she nor her 11 yr old daugher would come so then I wouldn't have to worry about the venue's fire code or limitations. Is it so hard to understand? I'm 22 and in college, not 45 and retiring and moving to Hawaii. We can't afford for the whole midwest to come.
Enlist the help of your parents or other family members to help clear things up. For the pople you spoke with directly (like your friend who's bringing a friend and a date), talk to them and clear it up. You might even be able to uninvite the friend of the friend by saying how difficult it's been to get the head count down and how your FI is upset that you have more guests than him (or whatever applies :). Good luck!
Personally, it seems kind of weird to me to invite a mom to bring one child but not all children. I can understand not wanting young kids at your wedding, but to break up families like that is a tough situation to put them in.
My FI comes from a culture where you don't send out formal invitations, and everyone hears about the wedding via word of mouth and just shows up... so we're expecting surprises like yours or worse! Some of those things just aren't worth fighting over, and you just have to roll with the punches.
@jenbradner - Her daughter is 19. She's an adult so she was welcome to come. It's not like one was 14 and one was 13.
OMG- you have to find someone in your family to help with crowd control!!!! Arrrgghh, I really feel for you. Good luck!! :(
That sucks that this is happening to you, but you shouldn't sit back and let your guests walk over you like this. Make some phone calls and tell people that they can't bring these extra guests they've invited, they can't transfer their invite to someone else if they can't come, etc.
You shouldn't have to pay for people you didn't invite and don't want there.
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1. An aunt that I'm not that close to rsvped and said that her daughter from California that I've never met is coming
2. An aunt wrote my aunt/mom saying that she needed to remind her husband to come (they weren't invited and I don't even know who they are)
3. Another aunt rsvped and said that because her daughter couldn't come her son would (we didn't invite children under 13)
4. FI's good friend said "Who goes to weddings alone" and declared that he will bring either his mother or girlfriend (whom I cannot stand) although his sister was invited
5. My sister insisted that her friend come so I could meet her (i gave in) and then asked if she could bring a male date
6. A usually sweet cousin told me that she wouldn't come if her 11 yr old daughter couldnt so then I wouldn't have to worry about exceeding capacity
7. The "sweet" cousin also suggested that maybe her daughter come come as her mother's guest - I never gave her mother a plus 1.
8. 1 person out of 68 has declined. The other 38 haven't responded.
OMMMGGGGGG. I'm about to lose it. Seating charts aren't common in my family but I'm thinking about doing one anyway. Then the uninvited will feel what I have felt for months now.