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OMG! You sound like me! Pretty much same situation. I kept telling him for a month or more that I couldn't wait to celebrate vday with him (hoping maybe for a ring) but we ended up hanging out last night instead of today. I took him to a nice restaruant last night, paid for it, got him a really nice vday card. No ring (which is fine),but no flowers, or NOT even a card? I love my man and everything, but I was a little hurt. I would have really appreciated a little card atleast.
I had made a big special breakfast for everyone and took my family to this bounce land. FI had nothing planned until my daughter pointed it out that he had done nothing special for the day. He took us out for dinner, after her comment. The things kids say 
This is an issue we've always had. I finally sat him down and talked about how special days can be special without him having to buy me somethingway . He was a little more receptive to the conversation when I said I didn't need a big gift just something to show that there was a thought about me. I think it suprised him when I told him how at times it can make me feel unloved when these days go by with out anything, not even a thought from him.
@wendyS328, TOTALLY! I would feel better if he at least said "Honey I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for Valentine's day, how about a big hug!." He even was telling me how his co-workers at his office had balloons and flowers sent...HELLO I'm not asking for that much (although I have dreamed of that before) just don't act like it doesnt exist in out world.
I didnt do anything..actually I totally forgot that it was Valentines day today..oops! I had plans to go out today and this morning after I was getting ready I went to give my BF a kiss bye and I was checking my facebook account on my phone and saw someone write "happy valentines day everyone". I said to myself..crap..its today isn't it. So I leaned over, said Happy Valentines day, bye. And left. Didn't see him until 11 hours later..doh!!
But it's alright though, both my BF & myself feel the sameway your SO about v-day Ms. Scarlet-I've given up after 6 years of hoping for anything on valentines.
But I get what you are saying, I was hoping for Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Years and my b-day...but got NOTHING! So I am now on to hoping for our cruise in 2 weeks. We shall see
But I am wishing your a happy Valentines Day Ms. Scarlet :)
@mrskesslertobe, I'd love to be able to sit and talk about it calmly with him one day. I like how you had another person there to help remind him:)
@Ms Sassy, thank you for the happy V-day note:) I guess my SO see's most holidays that aren't religious of have a special meaning as a bit superficial and that we're being played by the market. I've been disappointed for a few years maybe I'll give it up by year 6!
@MsScarlet
Even though we went out last night, I would have hoped for a phone call or a text from him today to atleast wish me a happy vday or to tell me he was thinking of me and that he loves me, but nope.
It's 11pm now. Pretty sure I wont be getting that call/text
@Wenday, same here! but it's already midnight. No "I love you" or "happy valentine's day honey". Since we live together it's more apparent that he's acting like it's a normal day. Oh today after the nice dinner and dessert and me working my a** off for it he said "Thank you for making this weekend so comfortable and peaceful". arggggggg!
What's with these guys? I read other posts about couples doing fun stuff and preparing surprises..I'd LOVE to do that too!
I know what you mean! I spent the day filling out forms for FH's visa and then I went to the gym. On my way back I bought him 3 bottles of assorted beer, 2 types of cheese, and a box of chocolate. He was very happy to receive it.
We live in Japan right now, and in this country the women get something for men on Valentine's Day. FH didn't get me anything but told me I'd get nice White Day gifts (when men get something for the ladies). We are both from Western countries though, and shame on him! Valentine's Day still means something to me :/ I told him we had to do SOMETHING for Vday so I got gussied up and we went out bar hopping. He is taking me to dinner tonight because he got paid today but it stilled pissed me off that he used the whole "in Japan I don't have to do anything for you" excuse. I made sure to let him know he CANNOT get away with that!
@xoxokristin, I got that before too! Our first V-Day together I made him chocolate hearts. When I playfully asked him back if he got me anything he said "for japanese women do the work on V-Day". So I waited for the so-called white day to come around (I'm not japanese by the way) and nothing happened! When I asked again he was like "Oh! All that stuff is for young high school kids with nothing to do or for singles that can't make an excuse to ask a girl on a date"...very lame!:)
... on our first V-day, I made it perfectly clear that FI was NOT going to be ok skipping V-day, that it was something that regardless of how "stupid" he thought it was, it meant a lot to me. Five years later, he hasn't forgotten it...
If I were you, I would seriously just tell him, "Look, honestly if YOU don't want to celebrate V-day, that's fine. But I think I'm going to spend the day doing nice stuff for myself instead of you since you don't want to bother with it. Lame excuses aren't cutting it and I'd rather spend the money on someone who appreciates me... that would be ME."
I get that some guys just aren't into it, but I think a lot of guys just know if they slack off you'll still love them and do stuff for them. I refuse to ever let that happen! I do enough for my FI in the normal course of things that if he's not willing to buy a box of candy and some flowers for V-day, he's not deserving of all the effort I put forth on that day!
We did nothing. I made steak and cake last night. We watched tv, i crafted, etc.
Actually, we had dinner with another couple Saturday night and she was upset that even though she and her SO agreed to do nothing on v-day, she was still mad she didn't get flowers, then asked me at dinner if i got any. I said, "no" and she was SHOCKED i wasn't all upset! I said I just didn't care. I'd rather DH spend his money on the two of us having a date. But ya know, those $5 bouquets are nice, too. I think guys forget about those. Basically, she was jealous everyone at work got flowers delivered BUT her.
Your DH has a point. We are the same way--my bday is 4 days after vday. That's a LOT of celebrations all butted up against each other.His bday is 6 weeks after mine. We have SO many things to 'celebrate' between December-April. Frankly, I'm more bummed he doesn't have anything planned for my birthday, not valentines day. We're just "winging" it. But it's not like it's a big bday, though.
However, I got DH a card and 3 chocolate bars for Vday. Just b/c it's Vday. It's not like we did anything crazy or expensive (personally I think flowers, cards, candy, etc, are a waste of money on a major holiday, too,). I would MUCH prefer to get them randomly, when he knows i'm having a long week or just to say "i love you" versus because a holiday made him FEEL like he should.
If you hinted about it, maybe you just have to tell him, "hey, let's make dinner TOGETHER for valentines day and watch a movie". Because he isn't big on the holiday to begin with, it's probably easy to push it out of his mind.
I'm just not big on valentines day, though. I'd rather get/do something on a random day than because he's "supposed" to. I think it's kind of cheesy.
I'm in the opposite boat. My FI made me a special breakfast (with mini tater-tots in alphabet shapes instead of breakfast potatoes just so he could spell out "i love you"), surprised me with it in bed, with mimosas, a heart shaped box of chocolates, and a card. In the card he wrote something similar to "I love you- you are my one true partner and perfect companion. the next 8 months is going to be wonderful and i can't wait to spend the next 50+ years with you. something something something" He said that he wanted to do something special because it was our last v-day before we get married.
I'm not trying to flaunt my man or what happened on my day, so please don't misunderstand me. I didn't do ANYTHING in return. I feel horrible. He never buys cards, and thinks that they are a waste. We never celebrate Valentine's Day or Sweetest Day or whatever. So I didn't get him anything or do anything special at all. I feel like a jerk. I just hope that he isn't disappointed in the same way you are... except I think that he is.
Hahahaha I got a chocolate cheesecake from my FI - after I told him that AM that I needed to get back on track w/ the dieting and gym because I have a dress fitting soon! It was delicious though :o)
He doesn't ever get me cards for Holidays/Birthdays/Anniversaries - says they are a waste of money (we have a joint account so technically it would be MY $$ too and I wouldn't mind a little something!). And he is someone that really listens to you when you tell him "Don't get me anything".
@ejs4y8, when you put it that way I guess it does make sense. My DH makes sure my birthday, Christmas, New Years and our anniversary gets celebrated (gifts on B-days and Christmas) so adding another day to celebrate in Feb would actually make it 6 months of spending money. I wish he'd at least acknowledge it though...maybe it's something we have to talk about to avoid me being disappointed on the day. I was happy all day until bedtime when I realized he wasnt going to at least say anything so I went to bed pissed.
I'll try to appreciate those random days he gets me flowers or takes me out "just because" more:)
@Labor & @noodle & @MrsJKH2be, all I can say is "I'm jealous!" :)
((((((((Hugs)))))))))MsScarlet,what is this nonsense about him not getting you anything???You deserve better girlfriend. What is up with that? Same thing with WendyS328. V-day is a day set aside to show your love and appreciation for the one you love,period, end of discussion! Even if these men are not into it for god sake..... pretend man! That would bother me alot and I wouldn't let him live it down for awhile, not to mention I would feel hurt and unloved. Not to bring you down but is this a reflection for yrs. to come? If ur not even married or engaged yet and the romance isn't there I would be a little nervous. Good luck :)
Just read the part in WendyS328's post that said YOU PAID FOR DINNER AND GOT HIM A CARD. What????? I hope he felt stupid not returning the favor? Not to say he's not a good guy but REALLY???!!!
I think the "Just because" days are more important, anyways, MsScarlet! It's nice when you're NOT expecting anything! That's the best, really =]
Plus, who says Vday is all about the GUYS doing things for us? Where's the pressure on the woman's side to do things for THEM?
@ejs4y8, yeah...the "just because" days I feel "awwww honey you didn't have to, that's sooo sweet you made my day!". While the expected days like V-Day drives me nuts like "It's freakin V-Day! Do something for me!!". It's crazy isn't it?!
I guess it depends if your old fashioned or not. I have always felt that this is kinda the guys chance to do the flowers,candy,dinner etc. There's nothing wrong with the girl doing things,but when one person goes out of there way and the other makes NO effort,this is where hurt feelings happen.
@sunshine8, I don't know if I'm old fashion or not...I just love getting gifts! I guess I should get the Gary Chapman book for SO and maybe he'll understand me more...haha
How did your V-day go @sunshine8? I'm gonna be jealous but I like hearing them anyways:)
THanks for asking....he made me filet mignon,king crab,shrimp. Bought a lovely riesling wine from Germany. Lit a fire,dimmed the lights and had flowers delivered to my work the day before with a card that read "I love you endlessly my Princess". I know it sounds cheesy and you're ready to hurl right?? He is an EXTREMELY romantic guy who loves the finer things in life. However, still NO proposal ha ha. But he got an Attt for V-day efforts.
@sunshine8, from what you mentioned SO did for your V-day I'm 100% sure the "proposal" will be super romantic and worth the wait!
I told Mr. Tee not to get me anything.. he just lost his job so I figured his money would be well spent in other places. Ive been in a funk lately and he noticed. I was trying to impliment Mr. Bee's plan and have been so stressed with school and work he finally came out yesterday and asked me why Ive been withdrawing from him. We used to talk about the future so much and he told me that he didnt know if someone was telling me to not talk about it or what was going on but that he was asking me TO talk about it with him..
I'm not big on Valentine's Day either. FI is in Whistler watching the Olympics, so I went to brunch and a movie with my girlfriends.
However, FI did leave me flowers before he left. I thought it was sweet. But he always leaves me a note or flowers when he has to leave for a few days like for work trips because he knows that I hate it when he's gone on trips.
So maybe your guy isn't a "valentine's day" kind of guy. It sounds like he remembers the important days. Does he do stuff for you at random times? Flowers for no reason, notes, make you dinner, anything? I would be more concerned if my guy didn't do those things for me "just because" than if he didn't do them for me on Valentine's day.
Aww, I'm sorry your disappointed...I know how it is to get your hopes up about something, and then end up frustrated because you knew that it wasn't going to happen, but you hoped that maybe this time he'd actually think to do something.
My FI and I agreed at the very beginning of our relationship that we weren't going to celebrate Valentine's day. We do things for each other at random times, and I'll buy him little gifts if I find something that's just perfect for him, but I hate the obligation to "buy something now" or "spend time together now" if it may just not be the right time, or work with your schedules.
We do plenty of special little things...but on our schedule, not the rest of society's. Also consider, by doing things on the same schedule as everyone else, any going out you're going to do is going to be more crowded, and likely more expensive than the same romantic night a few weeks before or after!
@TheRen, you sound like a very understanding GF:) I'm sure he will propose soon!
@Miss Root, @elusive, yeah...I am trying to get into that mindset but I'm a sucker for attention and being smoothered..it's never enough! I try to keep in mind all the "just because" moments that my SO does things for me. I guess as @elusive said, special things on our schedule are best!
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I’m so jealous to all those lucky ladies that got to do something special with their SO today. I had my hopes up (I am not waiting for the ring by the way so this is not about that), I thought we would be going somewhere nice, have a nice long talk, maybe if he wasn’t planned he’d get me some flowers from the deli...or at least apologize for not doing anything..but nothing! I have been hinting and reminding all week. He never bothered to ask if I wanted to do anything this weekend.
I on the other hand prepared a special dinner and made a special dessert. He was surprised and appreciated it ...but that was pretty much it. I’m so bummed and disappointed.
We have argued about V-day before back when we were still dating (I keep getting disappointed, and the years we do something I have to ASK and PLAN in advance) and SO thinks it’s a waste of money - kind of a made up occasion from chocolate/candy companies or jewelry stores for women to ask their men to splurge. He says we celebrate my birthday in November, in December there is Christmas, in January it’s New Years and his birthday, and in March is our anniversary. And when ever we have our wedding ceremony in the church that will also add onto the list so he thinks V-Day can be cut out since it doesn’t have any significance.
I get his point, we don’t need to celebrate 6 out of 12 months in a year…and to give him some credit some random days he buys me flowers or takes me out but just feel bummed and jealous today!
Am I the only one here that had nothing special going on this weekend?!