Post # 1
I know a proposal isn’t coming on Valentine’s day and I am generally feeling meh about the day. When my bf asked me what I wanted to do I said nothing as it is always too expensive/crowded. The real answer is that I can’t bear to lots of loved up couples as our relationship has stalled.
How do those who are waiting cope with valentine’s day?
I’m probably going to an exercise class.
Post # 3
How long have you guys been together? I would refresh myself and engage in different activities. Keep yourself busy and get to know more people.
Post # 4
- Wedding: August 2019 - Italy
@Purplefurrydice: You’re so lucky your boyfriend even knows that it’s Valentines Day tomorrow! My FI doesn’t believe in it and we never do anything.
So count yourself lucky that you have a man there, asking you what you would like so that he can make you happy even if it isn’t a proposal yet. That time will come. For now, appreciate what you have 🙂
P.S We were together for 7 years before engagement. I know what waiting is like! Hang in there!
Post # 5
- Wedding: November 2011 - Florida Aquarium
Aww, I’m sorry you’re feeling sad. Maybe get some Chinese carry out, a bottle of plum wine and watch a movie at home? You can still enjoy each other’s company.
Post # 6
Don’t let V-Day get you down!
I was with my FI for 6.5+ years before he proposed, it can be hard but it was worth the wait. Are you guys on the same page timeline wise?
Post # 7
You’ve got a man who loves you and wants to celebrate that love with you. Sure, he’s not proposing… but if you love him and your relationship, you won’t just be surrounded by loving couples, you’ll BE one of them. I mean, if you really feel your relationship has stalled, maybe it’s time to have a serious discussion about whether you want the same things?
Post # 8
I agree with PPs. Don’t let the lack of engagement get you down! Celebrate your relationship with the man you love. Just because he won’t be giving you a ring doesn’t mean he doesn’t love you
Post # 9
I made my SO a card and making it made me so happy! Maybe you can do something like that too?
Post # 10
@Purplefurrydice: I totally feel your pain. I’m definitely a bit depressed about it. This year seems to be extra terrible. We were going to do low key dinner at home, but now we can’t (family emergency). And for v-day, he went out tonight to get me a card. I usually don’t care about presents even a little bit, but I today I just wish he’d do something
Post # 11
You could instead ponder the fact that Saint Valentine was more of an anti-war activist than he was a Cupid. He was beheaded for continuing to perform marriages in defiance of Roman Emperor Claudius’ edit that banned marriage – at that time in Rome (around 250 AD), married men didn’t have to be conscripted to the army – and many, many young men were needed for all of Claudius’ bloody wars. Most of the Roman populace thought these were completely unjust, unnecessary wars that did nothing but boost Claudius’ ego and decimate the population of young men.
It’s nice that there’s a holiday that focuses on love, but very sad that the reason for Valentine’s martyrdom has been entirely lost in the translation.
Maybe focusing on the lives of all the young men from around the world that have been lost in senseless warmongering over the past 1800 years would be a good way to honor Valentine and take your mind off of your relationship status?
Post # 12
That really stinks! If you don’t feel like celebrating, that’s totally your perogative!
Post # 13
@Purplefurrydice: V-day is our one year anniversary. Last year I cooked and we rented movies. We’d only know each other a month so that was enough. This year we’re doing the same thing (I’m cooking something else though). Idk. I just like that its special (even if its made up special) and that we can take a break from work to do something corny.
Post # 14
We will have been together 7 years in March. My walk date is in March as he won’t even discuss any of the issues we have in our relationship or attend councelling.
Post # 15
@Purplefurrydice: Please don’t take this badly but why are you waiting until March if you know you will walk then and he won’t discuss any of the problems you feel are in the relationship? Get out now if you feel like it isnt working? An engagment ring won’t make the problems go away. Maybe this Vday you could get take out, turn off the tv and mobile phones and sit down and talk about your relationship. You’ll be spending time together and hopefully be able to work through some of your problems you feel you are having! He seems interested in doing something with you so take him up on the offer and let him show you how much he loves you, maybe you’ll feel differently about things then!
Sending V day hugs from here anyway!!
Post # 16
Unfortunately, my dad died last year and I had to fork out £3000 for his funeral so at the moment I have no money to move out with and rent elsewhere. I also have no family and all of my friends live 100 miles up the road, otherwise I would have walked already.
We will do something nice like cook him a 3 course meal, and we will do something nice at the weekend. Its the whole mega romantic thing which is getting me down. The last time we went out on valentines day for a romantic meal I cried as I found it too upsetting as I seemed to be around newly engaged couples.