Post # 1
My first post to WeddingBee:
My SO and I have been talking about going to Hawaii for vacation in September. He has had to loan his family a lot of money lately so we’d have to budget for our vacation. Here is the thing… I would rather not go on vacation and have him use the money for a ring. I am not meaning to sound selfish, I just love him so much and really ready for the promise of a future together. Should I just suggest we go to Hawaii next year so he can save up for a ring?
Background: Have known each other for 9 years, started talking about marriage at 5 months, moved in at 6 months, been together for 8 months and want a September wedding next year.
Thanks for all your help!
Post # 3
What if that’s when he wants to propose??? I prefer to be optimistic 😉
Post # 4
I mean, you can discuss it with him. Why not? The wedding date you want is still farther away than the time you’ve even been together, so maybe he doesn’t realize the urgency yet? Can’t hurt to at least lay the financials out on the table and sort of plan out major purchases/travel over the next year and see what you are both comfortable with. You’ll need to do that to get married, so you might as well start practicing now!
Post # 5
Lol I feel the same way…going to Hawaii in September as well! Its too late for me to back out since its already booked. I’d say go on the trip and have a wonderful time! Well actually,that’s what everyone tells me, so I’m glad to pass that on to someone else lol. In reality, for the money we paid for the trip, I could get a nice ring, buuuut, there’s a part of me that realizes that this experience could be once in a lifetime..so I’ll just try to be patient a little longer! Of, course, there’s always a possibility that there will be a proposal during the trip, which would be super, extra special…..I hope that we both get a ring in Hawaii!
Post # 6
@purpledaisies: You are so sweet! I hope we both get engaged too! I am so glad someone else understands how I feel! Have you guys talked about engagement or has he hinted anything? I pretty much dropped the idea about going to Hawaii and he brought it up again so I should be thankful that I have someone to go to gorgeous Hawaii with, I just know it will push back saving for a ring. Unless he has a secret stash of savings that I don’t know about…
Post # 7
If you want to marry the guy you should be able to talk about that kind of stuff.
“Hawaii seems like a better trip for a honeymoon, don’t you think? Maybe we should save this money for a ring, take a weekend trip to (somewhere closer you both like) and save Hawaii for our honeymoon when we’ll be able to save a little more and enjoy it as newlyweds. What do you think?”
Wherever that talk goes, let him know what your priorities are. Sounds like it’s getting the rest of your life underway, not just this vacation. He should be able to understand that. Maybe he is planning something, but you can still take a short trip to give him the chance, save the money, and go to Hawaii later.
Post # 8
That is great advice! Thank you!
Post # 9
Yeah, I’d skip Hawaii all day long. I’d rather be engaged. And it’s not selfish. Last time I checked, engagements were for two people. And if you don’t use all the money, save it for the wedding. You sure as heck are going to need it.
Hawaii will be there later. This money will not.
Post # 10
@anthrogirl: We’ve talked about getting engaged. He says we’re unofficially engaged now (whatever that means lol) and he’s given me a timeline of March 2013. Sooo, that’s all I have in terms of hints. He’s not a hinter…he’ll go for full blown surprise. But, I’m not sure if it’ll really happen in Hawaii simply because of the money factor…rings aren’t cheap, and this trip to Hawaii isn’t cheap either, and unless he’s got money hidden somewhere that I don’t know about…I will be VERY surprised if he’s got a ring already. And that’s OK. He’s still got time…so I guess I’ll have to be patient. Although, I agree with almostmrsj that Hawaii is totally a honeymoon trip, so I think I’ll be rather disappointed if he doesn’t propose there…cuz I pretty much told him I didn’t want to go if there wasn’t a plan (crazy, right?).
So, are you guys going to Hawaii? If he really wants to go and keeps bringing it up, I say go for it. There might be a reason why he wants to go there (forever optimistic!)