Valentines Day blues…

posted 3 years ago in Emotional
  • poll: Am
  • Post # 3
    4441 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: January 2013 - Harbourfront Grand Hall

    @willow_1960:  It’s fine to talk to your coworker about things but you don’t have to take her advice!  How you feel and react is completely up to you!

    I have a friend who’s terrible with money but always handing out financial advice, I just laugh it off and say thanks!

    Post # 4
    2562 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: March 2014

    Well, it certainly wasn’t very nice of him, but there’s all kind of thoughtlessness that people do sometimes.

    Have you read the book The Five Love Languages? It might help you learn to express your needs a little better. I also like the book Commnication Miracles for Couples.

    You don’t need to “demand” more from him, but you’re always allowed to expect equal effort from him. It’s not a give-and-take, it’s an always-give-your-best, and relationships work best when that’s the deal on the table.

    If it helps, my ex bought me a jacket and a pair of gloves for our first (only) Valentines… somewhat unthoughtful, but even more so when I found out that his mom purchased them for him.

    This year? My fiance bought me nothing and made no plans for V-day, and I couldn’t care less – we agreed on it ahead of time, and I was just happy to spend some time with him!

    Post # 7
    7923 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: September 2015

    @willow_1960:  I think… Men are daft so you must help them make you happy. I straight up was like “hey bf- I’m happy to have a Low key vday but Id be sad to not get any flowers”

    Post # 9
    3635 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: May 2012

    @willow_1960:  My husband bought me flowers every other day the first two weeks we dated, and almost never since.  A few birthdays, not even every Valentine’s Day.  I still love him because I fell in love with him, not the crap he bought me.  He was just trying to impress me and treat me well.  That should end after 6 months or a year because it’s exhausting.

    Express your expectations.  If you want flowers, tell him you want flowers.  He tried to buy you something and you refused it, then you’re mad he didn’t buy you anything – that’s not fair. 

    You driving to him just makes sense, but you can let him know that you feel like you put in a lot of time and effort driving and it would be nice if he had something planned for when you got there.

    Usually I am the one who gets my husband all kinds of gifts and he falls through, well-meaning as he is.  This year I didn’t get him anything but a card and some candy, and he got me some really nice earrings.  Wife fail.  🙂  But neither of us feel bad, we appreciate each other all the time. 

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