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Am not a vegetarian but I definitely think it is courteous to offer something. Instead of using one of your two entree choices for the vegetarians, since you mentioned that only a small handful are vegetarians, are you allowed to pay a bit extra for an additional side dish? That should be able to appease everyone and give you a better variety than the entree selections they give you. Any caterer worth their salt will do what they can to fit your needs and budget.
I don't expect a main dish, but I will tell you that it literally makes my night when there is one. It's really nice to be considered and not have to make do with the non-nutritious sides that are usually provided.
I'm a vegetarian and have been left out of countless weddings/events, so you can guess which way I voted. I think the two options you have been given are also good for meat eaters. Even though I only have a few vegetarians at my wedding, I know there will be several other people at the wedding who will choose the veggie option for healthy/diet reasons, so I think a lot of people will be happy to see that option in your buffet.
Not having a meal while everyone else chows down is depressing, frustrating, and alienating. Please work something out so that your veg guests have a real meal! Perhaps suggest a dish that you think your vegetarian guests might like better than the pasta and see if the caterer can whip something up.
@veganglam -amen!!! I was at a wedding once where all the "non meat" food had mayo on it, so i ate plain rice. yumm.
I know my mom eats meat but almost always chooses the vegetarian menu at weddings. so you might have lots of takers!
Thanks guys! This is the way I have been feeling too, it would just make me feel too bad to say, "No, you just eat side dishes". My FILs don't really agree with me, but I just need to make the decision that makes me feel like I am thinking about all of my guests. My FI has a 13 year old cousin who is actually a vegetarian, and his family treats it like she is just going through a stage.
Anyone have a favorite vegetarian meal that they have eaten at a wedding to perhaps give me ideas to talk with my caterer about?
I became a vegetarian when I was 11, and my family treated it like it was a stage, too! It's been well over 8 years since I've eaten meat, and I haven't been tempted yet. :) They'll learn, but it'll take time. Good for you for sticking up for your cousin, though.
Eggplant parm. is usually popular. I personally love mushroom dishes, but a lot of people don't like mushrooms. You could also go with a ravioli or, if you want to get adventurous, a type of tofu or seitan.
perhaps you can talk to your caterer and come up with a better veg option if you aren't happy. they *should* be willing to work with you and at least give you some suggestions. But yes, you should have a veg option - I even know a bunch of meat eaters that are really picky and would choose the non-meat option anyways.
I'm a vegetarian and at the last wedding I went to I had mashed potatoes. A LOT of mashed potatoes because there was no vegetarian entree and that was the only side that didn't have meat in it too. It's pretty depressing and disappointing at a lot of events (not just weddings) when there is nothing to eat. You wonder who those people are who take more than one piece of cake? It's the vegetarians - we're starving! All kidding aside, especially if someone in your wedding party is vegetarian, it is courteous to have an entree selection that is not meaty.
i voted that a veg meal was necessary, but honestly, it probably depends on the sides and if they're hearty. if there were 2 veggie salads and 2 veggie sides, which had a protein, i'd be happy. i've been a vegetarian since i was 4, i'm used to not having options. if the sides are cooked vegetables, that wouldn't be enough. but if one was like, mac and cheese or something, or something with cheese or beans, i'd be happy.
I am so happy my family never treated my vegetarianism as a stage! People who didn't know me, yeah, sometimes, but my mom even went pescetarian and started cooking all-vegetarian family dinners when I announced that I was going vegetarian at age 8!
I agree with lilyfaith on the ravioli, with an interesting sauce or maybe some kind of risotto, chock full of veggies? You should find out if your guests like mushrooms--they're my favorite food and SO many things can be done with them. My favorite restaurant, Horizons Philadelphia, makes amazing entrees with mushrooms cooked like, five ways. You should definitely check out their menus for inspiration! I am a bit more hesitant, however, on the tofu, seitan, or tempeh dishes. People who have never worked with these foods before have a tendency to f them up. If you caterer has cooked extensively with them, that's awesome, but if not, you might not want to risk it. Still, make sure to include SOME kind of protein: I know I get all headache-y and dizzy if I go for a long period of time during the day without eating any! You don't want a guest passing out at your reception :/
I do this every time someone brings up vegetarian meals at receptions: take a look at the menus at some of my favorite vegetarian restaurants, all their food is sure to be crowd-pleasing (for vegetarians and omnivores alike). It really depends on the palettes of your guests as to what the best thing to serve is, so maybe just take a glance and see if anything sounds right?
Ubuntu : Michelin-ranked "vegetable-based" restaurant in Napa, CA
Millennium: San Francisco vegan gourmet restaurant that has consistently won "Best Vegetarian Restaurant" VegNews survey for the past like, ten years
Horizons : mentioned above, my favorite restaurant, in Philadelphia; first vegetarian restaurant to ever serve a meal at the James Beard House in NYC
Candle 79 : NYC's premiere vegan restaurant (two locations in Manhattan); they'll be doing MY wedding catering
Blossom : Another AWESOME vegan restaurant in NYC; they have three locations in Manhattan now so they must be doing something very, very right.
I think the plated dinner for the exceptions can work well, if the caterer will help you out or allow an outside caterer. I am getting a couple of kosher meals brought. It was an added expense, but I think it is worth going the extra mile for my friends without sacrificing the overall meal.
I would feel pretty left out if I was a guest or a member of your wedding party and wasn't fed enough. Especially, your MOH who will be with you from the very beginning until the end (whenever that may be). I think the extra cost of having some plated dinners for your guests and MOH. I don't have any recipes to provide you, but I'm sure your caterer would be open to it.
Just a little tip: I think the Vegitarian option is usually cheaper too! :o)
I don't think it will be a wasted option if you get a good enough vegetarian meal. If you get a fantastic ravioli dish or eggplant parm, or even a great veggie lasagna (or whatever else), you may even have non-vegetarians choosing that meal.
I'm vegetarian, and I agree that you need to give your guests a full meal that they can eat. HOWEVER, I would definitely encourage you to either work with the caterer to come up with something yummy, or have separate plated meals for your few veg guests, or have sides that are really filling (ie, include protein). I say this just because if it seems like the caterer is not taking the vegetarian mains seriously, then it's probably not going to be great, and you don't need to inflict it on all of your guests. I've eaten some terrible vegetarian lasagna in my day, and (although I may be in the minority here) I wouldn't want that to be half the food at your wedding.
But the overall point, that your vegetarian guests need to get a decent meal, is still true.
@Azin - you're right! FSIL had stations, and the veggie station (a cheese pasta) was significantly less money than the chicken and beef stations.
I'm curious as to what the people who are voting no main dish think? They don't seem to be responding.
i'm not a vegeterian, (nor do i like most veggies), but i think those meals sound pretty yummy. we're having our caterer make something special just for the vegeterians that he'll set aside for them.
I would be surprised if your caterer doesn't have a "silent vegetarian option". That's how it is at our venue--if someone requests a vegetarian meal, one is ready for them (I think it's a pasta dish). Have you asked your caterer about that? We're not paying extra for really having three options (2 + silent veggie).
@Hilsy - that's a cool idea, but do you make an announcement or something for it? I don't ask once I'm at the wedding, though I do make sure the couple know I'm a vegetarian beforehand. Since no one ever mentions a silent option, I feel it'd be rude to make a big deal of it, even to the waitstaff, and just silently pick at my salad. :/
Hmm good point, @lilyfaith. I"m not really sure how it works, lol. I guess I'll have to ask the maitre d' how it usually goes! :) I would totally be the same way as you--not want to cause any trouble and just stick with my leafy greens.
if you know of specific ppl that are vegetarians that will be there you should DEF offer a vegy dish. I am not a vegy but i am pretty close...i would really appreciate a vegy option. you want to be thoughtful of your guests :D
@hilsy/Lilyfaith: I've been a vegetarian my whole life and I always just ask the waiter if there's a vegetarian option when I'm at a wedding, if they didn't ask for our meal preferences ahead of time. There usually is the "silent" vegetarian option, and if there isn't, it doesn't hurt to ask! I would find it would be far more awkward not to have an entree while everyone else eats.
But to answer the OP's question, while I would eat the sides and be fine if that's all there was, I would certainly prefer a main dish, especially if I were in the wedding party. I would talk to your caterer to see if there's a way to offer two meat entrees and then have a veggie entree (but perhaps just a smaller amount or just a few reserved meals for those who are veggie). Honestly, as a vegetarian, I never expect good food at any wedding I go to, so it is definitely appreciated when I think that some thought has been put into it!
I'm a 'vegatarian'. I do eat chicken, but mostly only if I've cooked it myself. I have a wierd meat 'phobia'. Lol. There have been so many times I've been to events, weddings, xmas parties etc where my only option was salad and cake. I think it would be much appreciated to have a veg option. And as some others have said, you may have more than just the vegatarians choosing them. One wedding I've been to had fettucini alfredo as the main, dressed up with sun dried tomoatoes, and served with a to die for caeser salad. I think its a great idea to include that option.
Just a note: Ceasar dressing isn't vegetarian. It contains anchovies.
We had a vegetarian option and then the weird thing was that the two people who I knew for sure were vegetarians checked off chicken on their cards! WTH! Oh well, about 16 people ended up choosing vegetarian, including some who were just curious about the meal and aren't normally vegetarians. So be prepared for some non-vegetarians to choose that meal too.
If you can't have a vegetarian option for the whole party, see if your caterer has a problem with making a dish for only those people that need it. I think that is what my friend did for her wedding. She knew the guests that were vegetarian, so she worked with the caterer to have those people get the option.
Also, just because I am not a 100% clear about a vegetarian's diet, I thought a vegetarian still eats things like seafood, eggs and dairy and that Vegans will not eat anything animal related or seafood?? Enlighten me please.
My mother is a vegan. So having an option for her was essential. But I got to choose 2 meat/fish and 1 veggie, so it works for everyone.
@roddy - the most common vegetarian diet includes dairy (so eggs, cheese, butter, etc) but no meat - so no fish, chicken, red meat, etc. Some vegetarians are more flexible (ie, those that are veggie for health reasons) and will eat one type of meat, but most don't.
My biggest pet peeve is when people tell me, "why don't you eat fish, it's not meat!" grrrr... thanks for asking for the clarification, I always appreciate when people are genuinely interested. :)
I've always been a vegetarian and now just recently went vegan due to dairy sensitivity. I'm SUPER cool with sides and just salad. Most buffets have rolls/bread too. Two sides, two salads and bread and I'm MORE than happy. Just a thought though.. My venue made up several plates for the known vegetarians (me included) at our wedding. They took the vegetarians out of our final count and charged half price for the vegetarian meals. We went with napoleons even thought I HATE mushrooms. I just picked it off. Like other readers suggested ask your caterers if that's an option.
I wanted to add.. I would never expect anyone to cater to me because I don't eat meat. I'm not coming to the wedding to fill up on free food. I'm coming to celebrate the joining of two people. I usually eat a snack before hand if I don't know the menu and fill up on cake if I didn't get enough at dinner. :)
As an aside, and I don't mean to complicate your life, it would be super-courteous to your vegetarian guests if you check whether any cake/cupcakes/pie is vegetarian--I"m not saying you have to change if it's not, but it'd be nice to give them a heads-up. (Pie crust often has lard, and some icing may use it, too). Also, and this is way out there for stringent vegetarians---many cheeses are not vegetarian, as they use an animal-based rennet. I am a fairly strict vegetarian (no chicken stock, etc) but I don't check cheese.
As to good dishes that AREN'T pasta....many places will offer some type of filo (or phyllo) dish--like a savory strudel. A nice hearty stew on top of polenta is a nice option, too, and is easy for the caterer. I've also seen nice 'stacks'---roasted veggies (or one veggie, like a portobello or slices of eggplant) alternated with goat cheese, or polenta, or something along those lines. You could also consider a quiche, a tart, or a risotto?
And a big shout-out to the OP for being so considerate of your veggie guests! I assure you that they appreciate it!
@lilyfaith - THANK YOU for schooling me! I honestly didn't know all the details and I am glad I can get some information. I learn something everyday :)
I know what you mean about your comment, "seafood isn't meat". I am actually lactose intolerant and MANY people are always telling me to eat one thing or another and although they may not know or realize that the food they speak of is all dairy, it sometimes hits a nerve. Now I don't get that way with strangers just the people who have known my condition for years. But I always put on a smile :)
Vegetarian main meal PLEASE! As a vegetarian, I cannot tell you how many weddings I have been to where i have been regulated to eating 1 or two things- usually salad and/or mashed potatoes! While i love both, it make me, and the the rest of us veggies, feel left out! And while its a great excuse to ask for another slice of cake, I'd MUCH prefer a hearty main meal! The veggie Parmesan you mentioned above sounded okay...but are those really the only two vegetarian options?!
As a side note, I went to a friend's wedding where there were peanuts in a ton fot eh dishes and the caterer was NOT careful to keep things separate and, even after asking the caterer which dishes I could eat, I still ended up hyper sick by the end of the evening cause of cross contamination. just something to think about if you have guests with allergies!
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My maid of honor and a few of our guests are vegetarians. So, I am trying to figure out if a vegetarian meal is necessary. I only get two options for my buffet dinner reception, one of which will probably be a chicken of some type. The vegetarian option that my venue offers however aren't exactly that great...one is a vegetable lasagna and the other is a pasta primavera with vegetables in it basically.
We'll also have two salads and two sides as well. So, for the vegetarians would you be bummed if there wasn't a nonmeat entree option? Or would you be good filling up on sides alone? I am leaning towards having a vegetarian option regardless, because I don't want people to be hungry at my wedding! But I also, don't want to feel like I am "wasting" a menu option on a cheap pasta dish.