Post # 1
I am vegan, my boyfriend eats meat but very rarely. I would love a vegan/vegetarian wedding but from the outset of wedding planning this has been met with negtive responses from a lot of family members. my origional thought was to have a vegetarian main and then offer as an alternative a meat dish. This is probably my biggest wedding dilema as I wouldn’t kill an animal on a normal day so why do it on the most memorable day of my life? I have since thought about changing the main to a vegetrian buffet that way the meat eaters might not realise that its all vegetraian and may not feel so picked out for eating meat. Should I make people suck it up, it is after all one day and my wedding day or should I offer guests an alternative? Please help!
Post # 2
countrybride19: Ooo, that’s a tough one. My first inclination is to make the veggie buffet. I’d love it and I do eat meat! But I suppose you will get the argument that at all other weddings a veggie option is available for vegetarians so a meat option should be available for carnivores?? (Some) meat eaters are so adamant about eating meat, know what I mean? Like, opinionated.
Post # 3
Hmmm, this is a tough one because you’re a vegan. I know vegans are against meat bc of the ethical reasons. However, people that aren’t vegan or vegetarian always cater to you guys for their meals. I know we had vegetarian options and we aren’t vegetarian.
Post # 4
countrybride19: I don’t think you should have to sacrifice your principles for your wedding. I totally understand wanting to make your guests as comfortable as possible but if it would make you feel unfortable to be paying for the meat I don’t think you should have to.
Edited to add: I’m not a vegetarian 🙂
Post # 5
On the one hand, if the idea of purchasing meat bothers you, I don’t think you should have to. On the other hand, as a guest, I would probably be a little disappointed if there wasn’t any meat available. So you have to decide which bothers you more. If there isn’t going to be any meat available, you need to be upfront about it. People ARE going to notice. If you go this route, make sure you have a couple of good protein options, and put it on the invitation. Honestly, some people might decline for that reason. So choose, save chickens or make carnivore guests happy.
Post # 6
countrybride19: If it goes against your beliefs and ethics, don’t serve meat. Let people complain. They can starve if they want to.
Post # 7
My advice: stop telling people about the food! They’re going to judge before they see/eat it, and probably miss out on really tasty things. I’m vegan and my FI is vegetarian. We’re having a vegan wedding. We want the day to reflect who we are and our values. We know we can get really delicious food (people are still raving about the food at our engagement party and how they never thought vegan food could be that good), so our attitude is that anyone who is so close minded that they won’t try it is missing out. I’ve eaten before/after many weddings because the vegan option is basically lettuce. If they’re so set on having meat, they can buy their own before or after. To me, expecting meat at a vegan/vegetarian’s wedding is like expecting steak at a Hindu wedding.
Post # 8
When you’re hosting an event, it’s less about what you personally eat and more for what will make everyone happy. As an example, I don’t drink sweet wines, but a lot of his family members do. So when we’re having his family over for dinner, I pick up a bottle because it’s what they drink. For our wedding, we would have preferred a beef and a pork option, since we personally liked them better than the chicken. We went with beef and chicken, because most of our families expressed a preference for a chicken option, over pork.
Post # 9
I’m also vegetarian, but my FI and his family and mine are all hardcore carnivores, I don’t think it’s fair to push my beliefs on anyone so we’re having choice of meat and veggie main course at our reception. I know a lot of my guests can’t stand veggie food and I want everyone to enjoy their meal so I have no problem serving meat, as long as I’m not the one eating it. Agree with PP that carnivores have to cater to us veggies, so why shouldn’t we cater to them. BUT you obviously feel uncomfortable with it so if you have the choice then don’t serve meat! If I could have gotten away with it I would serve vegetarian food, but I just couldn’t do that knowing 90% of the guests wouldn’t particularly enjoy it.
Post # 10
- Wedding: May 2015 - The Fairmont, SF
As a former long term vegetarian/vegan (vegan for 2 years, lacto-veggie for 5), I empathize with your struggle in deciding the menu. Personally, I am and was of the stance that as long as I wasn’t eating meat, I didn’t really care what the people around me did. I often bought burgers for my friends while we were out to lunch because it personally didn’t bother me as long as the meat wasn’t touching my lips. It sounds like you see the idea of paying for a meat option as violating your own standards more than it would mine (which is fine, don’t get me wrong :)) and therefore, maybe a vegetarian buffet would ease your worries.
On the other hand, and I may be alone in this point of view, but as much as a wedding is about the bride and groom’s experience, a degree of accommodation should be made to ensure the guests are comfortable and happy as well. For my FI and me, this meant changing our intended venue from Lake Tahoe to SF to ensure that guests flying in from Europe would be able to attend more easily. Some people are really funny about food (had an ex that wouldn’t touch tofu or meat substitutes… or vegetables…) and I think the worst thing would be for your guests to go hungry due to pickiness/not having a meal option they want or for food to go to waste in the event that guests didn’t really enjoy or eat much of the buffet.
It’s up to you, of course, but I’d personally go for my guests’ comfort above all. 🙂
Post # 11
I eat meat, but I would never expect you to compromise your principles for me. No one is going to suffer if they have one meatless meal. Actually, we do it all the time when we make chili, quiche etc for a simple and quick dinner.
There is a huge difference between us carnivores offering a vegetarian option and suggesting that you offer a meat choice. I don’t think it’s wrong to eat vegetables. You do think it’s wrong to eat meat.
Post # 12
I am a low-level meat eater and think that meat as a maindish is awful. I think having a vegeterian main dish with an option for meat is good.
I have hypoglicemia and I know diabetics. For some people meat protien is really the only thing that works to keeps them healthy.
If it is offered, people who select it would be getting what they want, and nothing should be wasted, so you’re not doing anything that they wouldn’t already be.
Post # 13
I don’t like using the term “carnivore” to describe people who eat meat because meat isn’t the only thing we eat. We frequently have meals that have no meat in them at all, and vegetables with every meal. We’re omnivores.
And we wouldn’t have a problem going to a wedding that was strictly vegetarian so long as there were plenty of options (especially non-soy options because I’ve got a soy allergy).
So I say go for what you want and so long as it’s delicious no one will notice the lack of meat.
Post # 14
I love meat. I eat it a lot. Its one of my favorite foods. In my meat loving opinion, if you don’t announce that it is a “vegetarian buffet”, i doubt people will even notice. Just have other yummy stuff like pasta and bread and other things to fill people up. Make it like an “Italian Buffet” or something…or just dont even name it! If all your buffet only consisted of carrots, spinach and tomatoes and tofu, I would be like “wuuttt….”….but if you fill it with yummy vegeatrian options (meatless chili, pasta, sweet potato caserole, big salads with straweberries and other fruit…etc) I think it will be just fine and people will love it 🙂
Also, just for the record, i think if you have “tofu anything”, it will make people realize its vegetarian. I’d pass on the tofu if I were you.