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My take is that if you are giving the vendor an assigned seat at a reception table then they can eat while they're sitting down. I would think that once the ceremony is over, the pastor and his wife would be like regular guests at your reception so they would be seated at a table and eat dinner with everyone else. If they are supposed to be working while everyone else is eating, then they should not be seen to be eating in front of guests. This would include the band/DJ for sure and possibly the photographer. I don't know how photographers handle this usually - you might want to ask the photographer himself! Do make sure that the band and photographer have a chance to eat though - even if it's just on a quick break.
You should try to feed all your vendors, especially the ones that have been with you all day. Many time, venues will have special discounted meals for vendors, so you don't have to pay for an entire head price, since your vendors shouldn't be munching away on hor d'oeuvres if they're working.
I prefer to eat away from guests, like in another room or in the suite, or not eat at all.
I know that my venue offers a hugely discounted meal option for vendors that are working with you for the day. I haven't checked but I'm pretty sure that they would not be able to get this discounted meal if they were seated at the tables with the rest of my guests. I'd say ask your reception venue what they normally do and then talk to the photographers, etc.
you should also check the contracts of your vendors. I know many photogs/videog have it in their contract that they need a HOT meal. This is because what many hotels give as 'vendor' meals is a pathetic balone sandwich and an apple. That's unnacceptable if you are working a 8-15hr day non-stop.
If you want to do a vendor table AT the reception, usually its the outside planner/photog/videog & DJ that sit at it. The bands are in the backroom. Most vendors are used to eating in a back ballroom where there is a buffet of some sorts.
As a bride who can also be seen as a vendor (I bartend wedding receptions/private parties part time), it all depends on the couples in my opinion. If I am working a wedding, and the bar is closed, then we generally eat back by the offices at the venue I work at. I have become close with a lot of the families that hold gatherings at the venue, so a lot of times, they set seats out for us, or we eat behind the bar, and it is no big deal. A lo of clients also insist that we grab a small something to eat while we are working (I do try to eat dinner or something before I work, just because sometimes it can be uncomfortable in the buffet line) At my wedding, we used a lot of family friends, it was no problem for them to eat behind the bar, etc. Hope that helps, and I did not ramble too much!!!
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I make it a point not to eat in front of guests. I find a back room or somewhere out of the way. Officiants are different, however, and should be seated if you invite them to the reception.
It really depends on the formality though. At my own wedding, I had a table reserved for the photographer, videographer, and musicians. We had become friends, and I really wanted them to feel welcome. We had a small less-than-formal wedding. For a formal wedding I assisted, we ate vendor meals in a seperate ballroom.
we're including all our vendors in the final headcount - we have a separate table for them and i insist that they have the same meal that all our guests have - i mean imo, they are guests - in fact, they are chronicling our wedding day, kwim??
my personal take is that if i trusted them enough to be part of my day either to photograph it, help me plan it, play music for it, etc... then why not eat with us also?
i'd feel wierd having them eat in a separate location just b/c they're vendors - they're people too and they're part of my day kwim??
but that's just us... different strokes for different folks!
My feeling is... I'm paying all of my vendors thousands of dollars to work... I don't understand why they would sit down to have dinner with us. Seriously, I love all of my vendors, and think they are great people, but I've narrowed down my guest list to only include my very closet friends and family. I don't mind providing them some kind of sustenance to get through 7 hours of work, but to sit down? no. They choose the jobs they have, and I feel like they don't expect to sit down with us. I mean, seriously, I just met these people within the last 3 months!
Certain vendors like the coordinator, videographers and photographers are going to be eating in sight of the guests. Either way, it is a discounted rate. Other vendors will not be on the floor. We are having it arranged this way because these vendors need to be there where the action is.
From my personal experience, as a videographer assistant until recently, I much prefered getting away from the wedding and eating in a back room. It was always wierd feeling when we were given spots at an empty table, the real guests look at you like you've just landed from another planet/try to make small talk/ignore you, you try and wolf your food down as fast as possible while knowing that you have to maintain best behavior because you're still kinda On Duty.
And it doesn't really seem like there's much action going on during dinner (except for the flaming desert presentation at one wedding, but we were forewarned and knew to be ready), the plate or boxed lunch that you get in the back room can be generally eaten and you're back before the guests have pushed themselves away from the table. (Do you really want to see video/pictures of yourself/your guests eating?)
It would be a vendor buffet in the backroom for $25 so I guess either way works for us.
I guess I will assume that the pastor and his wife are invited just like regular guests, and will actually ask the rest of my vendors what they would like to do. I know the country club has rooms we will not be using; they previously offered to set up a kids' room with movies and toys and even staff to babysit/supervise if we wanted. I'm sure they can provide a separate room for our vendors to eat if that is their preference. They are also not then tied into eating exactly when we eat, as long as that doesn't pose a problem for the chef. Good thing I asked! Thanks for all the helpful advice, especially from those of you who have worked as vendors!
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A seperate room would be great...it doesn't have to be all that fancy or big. A lot of times vendors just need a place to stash their equipment while they work.
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I am curious enough about this to ask separately... just read on another post that the vendors should not be eating in sight of the guests. I absolutely understand this for the servers or the bartender, but I was assuming that I would include our pastor and his wife and our husband-and-wife photographer team in the headcount for the buffet, which would give them seats at a table as well. I'm not sure I expect the photographers to take pictures of people eating... just of the actual ceremony and then cake and toasting and mingling and dancing parts of the reception.
Now that I think about it, I wonder if I should include the jazz combo in the headcount as well...
What are the rest of you doing? In our case, our photographers and musicians are people we are pretty well acquainted with; not good enough friends that we would invite them if they weren't working with us, but people that we would definately stop and talk to if we saw them around town.