Post # 1
I am so frustrated. My fiance was supposed to be at my house by now. I cooked him a nice dinner that I had to alter for him (picky eater). He had to drive three hours to see me so I’m thinking he must be famished. About 1 hr into the 3 hour drive, he tells me he is going to see his mother for a minute. I think, this is fine and I will be able to make his meal on time. As I have everything made 1 hour later, he tells me that he is actually out eating with his parents. I am just so upset. It’s a bit of build-up but I just hate how he is putting them before me and continues to do so. He is seeing them BOTH tomorrow at my graduation. Like couldn’t he just have come straight here or informed me about maybe eating with his parents? I get frustrated because his family is really attached to him. Father calling him everyday. He went home to sleep and spend time with them every other weekend in college. It’s a real concern to me. Next weekened, he is seeing them at a wedding and I won’t be there. I just wish he would prioritize me a little more because I will become his family and I am not down to sleep at his parents house every other weekend. We have talked about that. It’s my graduation weekend and any time spend with him would have meant the world. Any indication that the meal I cooked was going to be a waste would have actually been appreciated.
Post # 2
You need to talk about this with him, and sooner rather than later. Let him know how you are feeling. It sounds to me like you have been hiding this frustration from him, and that isn’t fair to you or him.
Post # 3
That would have bothered me too, especially if he knew in advanced that you were cooking. Sounds like you need to be more open with hom about how you feel. I would also be cautious about stepping on his relationship with his family, but also set healthy boundaries. It can be hard. It all depends on your relationship with your SO and living arrangements.
Post # 4
- Wedding: November 2014 - 11/15/14-Vineyard
Ok first of all… Did he KNOW you were cooking dinner for him? If not, then you can’t be upset with him for not knowing. Him spending time with his parents is a separate issue and you need to address that separately. You definitely need to talk to him but not in an accusatory way. More of that you feel like you guys need to communicate better. You for letting him know when you are cooking, expecting him at a certain time, whatever and you would expect better communication from him BEFORE plans change and would like to increase the time you spend together. I’m sure its a huge transition for both him and his parents knowing you will be the main focus in his life after marriage. Not everyone adjusts right away. Address the concerns separately and work on them together. Keep the communication going at all times. If you make it a personal attack or blaming him, he will only get defensive.
Post # 5
You should try to get used to how close he is with his family, or else you might face a lot of disappointment in the future. As far as the ruined dinner goes, I’m sorry that things didn’t work out :(. I would also be really frustrated.
Congrats on your graduation.