(Closed) Vent about Facebook!

posted 7 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Member
22 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: September 2011

um no? y would other people’s happiness frusterate me?  Everyone has their own fate.

Post # 4
Member
9057 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2010

It can be hard feeling like you’re the only one NOT getting married.  I was one of the first in my group of friends to get married and never really “waited” so it wasn’t an issue.

Try to just be happy for them and keep it to yourself.  I’m sure your boyfriend feels pressured when you point out all the other weddings. 

Post # 5
Member
257 posts
Helper bee

omg…YES.

I was on the phone moaning about this to my sister earlier this week.  In particular it was because a girl, who is my facebook “friend” but who I actually can’t stand, got engaged.  I don’t know why it bothered me so much, but it really did.

I am hoping my time to brag on facebook is coming soon, but I am also preparing myself for what will inevitably be another round of engagements with the holiday season.  I hate the way it makes me feel so jealous and upset, but it just does.

Facebook is dangerous like that for us waiting gals.  I certainly don’t begrudge people the right to use facebook as a way to announce these things, but sometimes it just feels like salt in an open wound.  I think facebook also allows for us to be hyperaware of these things.  I have a lot of facebook friends, many of whom I don’t really keep in touch with very often or don’t know very well.  Were it not for facebook, I would probably never know that they got engaged/married/had a kid, but because of it I am sometimes more “in the know” than I want to be.

I’ve tried to take breaks from facebook for a day or two, which occasionally works…but really there isn’t much that’s taking away the hurts of waiting lately.

Post # 6
Member
525 posts
Busy bee

@toobee – um.. harsh! The waiting board is somewhere for waiting bees to vent and if you don’t like it then I suggest you don’t read these boards.

@MissOwl – It seems like that sometimes I know… it’s like everything is a flashing sign to your SO to propose! But I would suggest not bringing it up to him too much… he probably knows that you are hinting and guys really don’t like that from what I’ve found. Just think of it as a positive thing, if lots of people around you are getting engaged that probably means that you are at the right stage of life etc to get married and hopefully your wait wont be too long!

Post # 7
Member
22 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: September 2011

@toobee – um.. harsh! The waiting board is somewhere for waiting bees to vent and if you don’t like it then I suggest you don’t read these boards.


 

I’m sorry I wasn’t trying to be harsh or mean 🙁

I guess I don’t understand how MissOwl feels because I was one of the 1st of my friends my age to get engaged. 

It doesn’t matter when you get engaged or married. What matters is to find the right person and not settle for anyone.  In high school when all my friends had boyfriends I didn’t have one.  It didn’t bother me.  I couldn’t find any guys I was interested in back then so I wasn’t going to waste my time with the losers that asked me out just because all my friends had boyfriends.

 

With my now fiance I was never in a hurry or waiting for him to propose.  But we are women, of course it crosses our minds.  I had made a mental note to myself that no matter how good we are for each other, if we are not engaged by the time we make 5 years together then it isn’t meant to be.  I am not a patient person.  If it came to the point where I was ready to be engaged and he made me wait YEARS I would just not wait.  There are so many good men out there.  If you feel frusterated because he is not proposing then don’t be mad at him or bring it up all the time.  Just work on making yourself better and invision yourself without him.

Post # 8
Member
3587 posts
Sugar bee

Yep, but like bryanne61 said, hopefully our Facbook announcement is coming soon AND Facebook makes you hyperaware. I was just thinking about closing my account so when I am engaged, only the people who matter to me, i.e. who have my phone number and I actually talk to,lol, will know.

Post # 9
Member
1088 posts
Bumble bee

I totally know what you mean.  It’s not that I’m NOT happy that someone else is engaged and happy. . .I’m admittedly a bit envious.  I know everyone has their own time frame, but every time I see another engagement/wedding on facebook, it’s a blatant reminder that I don’t yet have something I want.

I’m not a jealous or envious person, but for some reason, seeing engagements/weddings on facebook hurts more than it should.  🙁  I feel your pain.

Post # 10
Member
2239 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

It’s happened to me…I’ve been engaged for a really long time now and am jealous of those of my friends who have gotten engaged and then married and posted their pics on facebook. 

Post # 11
Member
10288 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011

@MissOwl: No offense, but don’t you plan to announce your engagement to the world via FB when your engaged? How can you fault your friends for doing the same…

I announced my engagement on FB and got nothing but a crap-ton of “congratulations”. If I knew one of my friends was complaining about announcing our momentous occasion on FB I would probably have been pretty bummed over that.

This wasn’t meant to upset anyone so I hope it didn’t, I just find it a tad bit hypocritical (unless of course you didn’t plan to announce it). 

Post # 11
Member
10367 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2010

@MissOwl: We’re all just “that age” where tons of people get married!

Post # 12
Member
525 posts
Busy bee

@toobee sorry I know how hard to judge tone of voice on the internet! I hope I dodn’t come off as too judgemental either 🙂

Post # 13
Member
108 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: November 2010

Well I was with my now fiance for 4 years and 2 months before he proposed. I completely understand getting frustrated about seeing and hearing about younger girls and other people getting engaged and married. I was so bothered by the fact that I felt like he just wanted to date me but never marry. But that was the couldn’t be any further from the truth. He was waiting until his finances made him eligible to be able to support me and the family we would have one day. 

Post # 14
Member
853 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

totally – it started with my mom and sister getting engaged in the same year (our immediate fam. is just the 3 of us, so I was literally the only non engaged person in my family). Then I became the last person from my core group of friends… then my ex’s started getting engaged and I was like SERIOUSLY?!?! WTF WORLD?!!?

I think this explosion of engagements kinda made my FI realize that I felt left out, and I think it actually helped to motivate him into thinking about our relationship in a “long-term” way. He might not have been even considered it before, but after you both notice that EVERYONE is engaged, it starts the ball rolling. Hope it will have that effect on your bf, too!

Post # 15
Member
223 posts
Helper bee

@MissOwl:Seriously!!  I should be happy for my friends and facebook friends…instead I feel angry and jealous!!  Like…when will it be my turn?  It feels like an eternity.

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