Post # 1
I just need to get this off my chest, so where better then the hive?
My FIL’s have always been kind ot me, helped me and FH out when we needed it, etc, but this week they did something really low and it is really bugging me.
This vent is a little long … with some background.
Me and FH just bought an awesome, brand new house, our conditions just came off of the sale today, and we move in July 24th. The new house is in the city that FH got a great job in 2 1/2 hours from where our families are. 2 weeks ago we took FH’s parents to see the new house, and while they were there, we took them through the showhomes (like a block away from our house). They decide they have fallen in love having a showhome and are considering making an offer on one (gah … 1 block away, not cool, and I don’t like the idea AT ALL).
FMIL asks our opinion on them moving to this new city with uis and we make it known that we aren’t totally okay with the idea (we wanted to start our life together away from the pressures of family, etc).
Today, FIL’s announce that they have bought a showhome, luckily in a town about 4 hours away from our new home. But then they proceed to list all the ways in which their house is better than ours. Oh … and they are moving into their house the same week as us.
Really!?!? They can’t just be happy for us, they have to go out of their way and steal our thunder and one up us, on our first home together! I had no idea they were either so A) thoughtless or B) competitive.
They couldn’t F#$%%$ stand just to let us have the excitement of our first home, our new house without stealing some of the limelight away.
Post # 3
If you normally get along with them, I ‘d try to let it go. The first thing that comes to my mind is that they might be feeling hurt that you and FI said that you didn’t want them living near you. I can’t say that I blame you. But I can also understand them feeling excited to live closer to you than 2 1/2 hours away, and being hurt you didn’t reciprocate. Sure you are afraid of being smothered, living on the same block. But they were probably excited thinking about spending more time with you, not trying to cramp your style. (And believe it or not, there may come a time when you wish they did live much closer to you. Especially if you don’t live near family and plan on having children.)
When they described the house, and it being better than yours, how did they sound? If they were like, "Oh Ms Mini, the master suite is so many more amenities than yours…. We wouldn’t settle for ____ (like you have)…… THe kitchen has granite countertops, not the crap laminate (like you have)." I could see you feeling like they were trying to dig at you. But if they were just excited, describing the the house, and it just happened to have lots of perks yours doesn’t have, I could see you taking it personally, without that being their intention.
They couldn’t F#$%%$ stand just to let us have the excitement of our first home, our new house without stealing some of the limelight away. After starting your post by saying they have always been kind and have helped you and FI out, I feel like you might be reacting a little harshly. What kind of limelight are you supposed to have for buying a new home? Showing them your new home, got them thinking it would be neat to make a change too. Is it possible that you were excited for your house, until they described their new home? Now yours doesn’t seem so great? (I think I might feel that way.) But that’s not their problem. Their older and have earned and saved more money in their lives. I’ll bet some of that money has been used to "help you out", or give you money towards your wedding, or buy you some expensive wedding presents. I could be wrong, just what came to mind.
Post # 4
I’d let it go. It is a little odd that they are making this special time for you all about them, but I’d just be grateful that they aren’t moving into the same neighborhood as you!
Post # 5
just keep telling yourself that distance is one of the best ways to deal with in-law issues! their behavior seems a little weird, but if overall things have been good with them i think you have to let this go. unfortunately i think for most people there is a lot of bite your tongue and let it go with in-laws.