I am not the kind of person to complain, but I was so upset this morning. I love my FI family and they love me. They would do anything for me and I for them.
Things have been going extremely well with planning our wedding. The wedding is getting so close! I have been so busy with everything I was looking forward to all the parties and events that lead up to the wedding. My FI family threw me a shower back in October, my co-workers threw me a shower last week, and my family threw me a bridal shower this weekend.
I did not want a large bachelorette party, so my bridesmaids planned a night away at a hotel with an indoor waterpark, just us 6 ladies. We did not advertise the party, until I posted on Facebook that I had a wonderful weekend and thanked my bridesmaids.
My FI texted me this morning while I was still at the hotel with my girls and asked that I call him when I get home. Of course, I thought something was wrong so I called him right away. He told me his sister had just spent a half hour chewing him out about how she feels like she is not being included in any of the wedding events. She said that she didn't recieve a Save the Date or an invitation and that we were lucky that my FI other sister was even coming to the wedding. The only reason she found out about the Bachelorette party was because I mentioned it on Facebook today. His sister also said that she invites me to things like the Beauti Control Spa parties, girls nights with their family, and she complained that I never include her in anything.
Let me just say that my FI mother told me not to send Save the Dates to immediate family because obviously they know when the wedding is! I have not sent the wedding invites to the wedding party members and their families yet because I worked so hard to get all the other ones done and we kind of figured they would be coming since they are in the wedding.
My FI family WANTED to throw me a separate shower with just their family since they live almost 2 hours from my family. FI sister and mother coordinated the shower. I did not ask for anything and offered to have a combined shower with both families. The shower was beautiful and I promptly sent Thank You cards to everyone in attendance and also to my FI sister and mother who organized the event. I was so greatful for everything they did.
I was offended when my FI told me that his sister was mad she was not invited to the bachelorette party and she was doing all these things for the wedding and was not being included in things. My FI sisters are not in my bridal party because they are both in their early to mid 30's and they both wanted to make sure I didn't feel and obligation to include them in the wedding party. They felt it was more important for me to have my sisters and close friends in my bridal party. I was more upset that she called my FI and yelled at him when he had nothing to do with the situation.
My FI and I are not selfish people, but this wedding is about us. A bride and groom only get to experience these things once and I think we should be able to do things the way we want to. I also thought that the family and friends that hosted parties and showers for the couple did it out of love and because they wanted to do it, not because they would be entitled to be included in everything wedding related.
I think she's being a little unfair about the bachelorette party. You (or your FI) needs to explain to her that it was planned by your bridesmaids and was a very low-key affair with just your wedding party present.
However, I do think you should have sent the family members save the dates (and invitations -- I wasn't clear if you got to this point yet or not).
I have not sent the invitations to the wedding party and their guests yet. Addressing them today and are being sent tomorrow.
Of course FSIL hasn't invited to you things just to be invited in return. But she obviously feels close to you and just thought naturally she'd be invited to your bachelorette party. Perhaps she was even looking forward to it. In many circles, the bachelorette party is a bigger event, including more than just the bridal party, such as groom's sister.
Just call her and say sorry but it was just a small event with my bridesmaids and sorry we couldn't include everyone and we certainly didn't mean to snub or offend etc etc.
Well it's nice that she likes you and wants to spend time with you. She probably didn't realize the bachelorette party was only with the bridesmaids. You should have sent all your guests save the dates and invitations, including the wedding party. It sucks that she yelled at your FI but her feelings were obviously hurt. Call her and talk to her about it.
What is it with bridal parties and dramas! Seriously. If you are not invited to be in someone's bridal party maybe you're not that close or whatever, they didn't pick you. Weddings are about the people getting married but for some reason, someone always manages to make it about themselves. If she really wants to talk to you, just let her know that your bridesmaids planned the weekend for you and that you are wiling to spend time with them if they want to. No problemo! You don't want to start a fight with your FSIL but she does have to understand that this is YOUR moment not hers.
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