Vent about picking the first dance song…

posted 2 years ago in Reception
Post # 2
5787 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2014

If this is a big deal to him, then let him act like it’s a big deal, especially if it has to be “just right” since he is already anxious about having all the attention on him. Give him a list of maybe 10 Do-Not-Want songs and let him pick whatever he wants that is not on that list. Keep your Do-Not-Want list relatively small because face it, it’s a 3-minute dance that most people are only going to watch for 45 seconds. You don’t want to turn this into a major research project!

Post # 3
202 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2014 - Barn

akkaer1:  My FI and I had this problem as well. Different dance, but same problem. I’d suggest one, he’d say no. On and on! We were on a timeline as well, so this is what I did. We sat down in front of the computer and he listed off some of his favourite artists. Then we looked up ‘love songs’ or ‘slow songs’ by each of these artists until we found one we could agree on. Honestly, we sat down and didn’t get up til we picked one, just so this wouldn’t drag on. Also, make a list! Or keep the songs open in different tabs in YouTube, that way you can compare them.

I personally wouldn’t let him just pick one because I think the first dance is really special, and therefor the song you guys choose be special to you both. 

Good luck!

Post # 4
2254 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

My guy was the same way. He was adamant he wanted one song, which I’m not crazy about….. so I just let it go and said we’ll figure this out on another time since we still have 8 or 9 months to go (at the time). 

One day we went to Disneyland and were standing there watching the World of Color show, and a song came on from the movie Enchanted. We both looked at each other and said this is it. And that’s the song we picked! 

His song will be his mother son dance and now he is as happy as a clam. 

Maybe wait to see if you both come up with a song? Like, driving somewhere you hear a new song and it just hits you? Idk picking that one darn song is not easy…. 

Good luck!

Post # 5
431 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2014


akkaer1:  have you suggested “Make You Feel My Love” by Garth Brooks (or Kris Allen, or Adele, or Bob Dylan?). That song is beautiful!

Post # 9
951 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

akkaer1:  Mr. S had a lot of opinions on the first dance song also.  It seemed much more important to him than me, so I just turned control of that one over to him.  His list he narrowed it down to made me a bit nervous, but when he finally decided on the right one, I was pleasantly surprised.  It really suits us and I love that he picked it.

Post # 10
303 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

Hes already shot down all of your choices, so I would say ur allowed to say no to one lol 🙂 if u rly don’t want that song I’d definitely make that clear and tell him why…what u told us 🙂 then you two should sit down together and choose one together.

My fiance shot down a ton of my suggestions, but annoyingly had no suggestions of his own! Lol. We ended up choosing grow old with you from the wedding singer 1. Because it’s short and I hate dancing/having people look at me…so the shorter the better and 2. We are both goofy and would feel strange picking a “serious” song if that makes sense. It’s still rly cute, but funny at the same time I think 🙂


Post # 11
241 posts
Helper bee

how much say is he getting in everything else? because if this is one area he really wants something specific, maybe just let him have.

i’m pretty laid back and my fiance is fairly interested (i.e. we’re about the same level given the different gender expectations). so he had a lot of input on bridesmaid dresses because that’s what he had ideas about (unusual but hey!).

Post # 14
235 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 2015

Our first dance will be to an Elton John song (Can’t remember which one……). FI said he wanted it so that’s one less thing I have to think about! 

Post # 15
6 posts

These all sound like great suggestions! 

Songs are

a very important part

of the wedding.

  • This reply was modified 2 years, 4 months ago by  mogu2.
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