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Atleast that's what one of FI's coworkers think. FI was discussing our upcoming wedding and somehow the topic of our religious beliefs came up. I am not shy about my beliefs (or lack there of) but I'm always respectful. To be honest, I think most religions are almost laughable but I don't go around telling people who are members that I think they're ridiculous for believeing what they believe. I don't give a crap what anyone believes as long as they respect those who think differently. You can believe that theres some fairy octopus in the sky granting wishes and I could care less as long as you don't judge me for my beliefs.
Apparently this guy is a pastor on the side so I guess thats why he felt he had the right to say those things. Frankly, I don't care if you're the friggin pope. Just because I don't believe in God (or the equivilant of) does not mean that my life has any less of a purpose than those who do.
I hate the closed minded.
Heh, if it makes you feel any better, a lady I was sitting next to on a plane last month noticed my engagement ring and chatted me up about wedding plans for about 20 minutes or so until she asked if I was excited about getting a home with him...
... I told her we'd already been living together for over a year
she says "oh...you LIVE with him already?"
I said "yep"
And she turned back to face forward in her seat and didn't even make eye contact with me for the rest of the flight. At first I felt awkward and a bit taken aback, and then I decided I was happy I could get back to reading my trashy magazine anyway.
Yes total stranger, I moved in with my boyfriend of 4 years and that makes me a turbo whore - thanks for judging! Nice chatting with you!
I'm a Pastafarian myself. I have been touched by the Flying Spaghetti Monster's noodly appendage.
Well, I am a Christian and I can't stand Christians like this either. If you don't believe in God and you live a life that makes a positive earthly impact how is that any different from the earthly impact of a Christian's life. Just because we believe there is also an eternal impact as well doesn't marginalize the meaning of your earthly life. What a judgemental way to look at things.
Ugh. Some people are ridiculously rude and judgemental. I am a Pastor's daughter (although I only really go the church on my parent's birthdays). My FI is Agnostic. I have also received a ton of rude comments and lectures about how we are going to screw up our kids because of our mixed beliefs (none of these comments are from my immediate family though, they are all super accepting!) It is frustrating and quite frankly nobodys f-ing business.
Maybe he should spend some more time evaluating his own "purpose in life" as currently it seems as if involves being intrusive and judgemental. Great characteristics for a Pastor!
As a Christian I will say that I cannot stand when religious people put down or judge others for their different beliefs. I'm sorry you had to go through that! There's a difference between someone trying to genuinely educate people about their faith and people who just put down others for the sake of religion..it's annoying as hell.
@UpstateCait: Wait, you mean there ISN'T a fairy octopus in the sky who grants wishes?
My life...destroyed. D:
In all seriousness, though, I agree with you. We're agnostic and don't take AS MUCH crap as I'm sure we would if we were atheist (though we're getting there...), but it's still annoying to be judged.
That's okay, because you also have no moral compass because you don't have the threat of eternal damnation to keep you in line! :D
It's like a "Make your own Nihilist" kit.
Of course you have a purpose in life as an atheist, it is your job to eat all the babies! Cause I've been told that's what we atheist folk do!
I just keep my mouth shut regarding religious topics when I'm around religious folk so I don't offend anyone unintentionally, I just wish they would do the same for me, they can be really mean sometimes talking about non-believers. I even bite my tongue around FI's proselytizing, home-schooling, young-earther cousins when they say garbage about human/dinosaur cohabitation.
@UpstateCait: I don't think this guy is as bad as you think he is.
It's definitely not a Christian teaching that atheists don't serve any purpose. We're all equally made in God's image, and deserving of respect and love, whether we beleive in him or not. What I think he meant to say was that he beleives that you beleive that your life isn't serving any higher purpose. If you follow the logical conclusions of classical atheism, it leads to not beleiving that there is any higher purpose to what you do, other than to get along with other people, so they'll get along with you. I think if he asked you "do you think that there is a higher purpose to your life, and that you are called to accomplish a specific task in this life?", you would have probably said "no".
If he's a pastor, he may be used to discussing philosophical/theological issues in detail with other people, dicussing their strengths and weaknesses, and where they lead you to if you follow them, and whether there is a better alternative. This is what Christians do in bible studies, and I can understand how to someone who's unchurched, and not used to that sort of thing, it could seem judgemental.
That said, he's responsible for a major communication FAIL, which has already had repercussions in the relationship between him and your FI. We aren't held accountable for what we mean, we're held accountable for what we actually do, and if you told him how his remarks came across, there's a good chance he'd apologise, and explain in more detail what he was actually trying to say.
It annoys me when people try to preach to me but I'll just grin and bear it since they think they're doing me a service. Telling someone they have no purpose is just rude and offensive. I've never even met this guy!
@Mrs Grape: Hate to break it to ya. :)
As an atheist (and one who officiates on the side for friends and takes it quite seriously) I'm offended by this guy. Besides, since you aren't banking on an afterlife wouldn't your acts during this life count as meaningful (since it's all you have to make a difference)?
@UpstateCait: This guy is inconsequential, don't let him get to you.
On a related issue, if you don't plan to have any children, people often react in the same fashion, especially after a woman's fertile years have come and gone. That completely bothers me, just like the notion that an agnostic / athiest lifestyle is to be pitied. I've never really wanted kids. I've heard for a number of years that I will change my mind. I'm almost 30, and I don't think I'm leaning towards birthing any offspring. I can only imagine the sad stares that are going to come my way. On top of being agnostic.... Oh for shame!
@KatyElle: Pastafarianism is definately something I would consider.
FI and myself are not religious, going to have children and have been living together for years. The amount of inappropriate, random and harsh comments from co-workers (that I don't even know) is kind of astounding (and sad).
Well I have that judging voice living under the same roof. My mom's extremely religious (it get’s scary some times) but I’m actually atheist. It really makes me sick how so many people think that just because you don’t believe in the same things they do they’re allowed to judge you, I get that ‘something stinks’ look from a lot of my mom’s friends. I don’t go there telling them their believe it’s silly, why do they do it to me?
@KatyElle: Ramen.
@UpstateCait: To people who dare preach religion to me, I now use an argument I learned from the Bee: I say to them, I believe we are actually both atheists, I just believe in one less god than you. When you can understand why you dismiss all other gods, you'll understand why I dismiss yours.
That said, may His noodley appendage wiggle over you, and your days be filled with carbs.
@SoupyCat: I really like that line, I'm definitely using it from now on. I used to go with the 'Do you believe in Zeus? Why is it wrong for me not to believe in your god, but it's not wrong for you not to believe in Zeus?' The still try to turn me into thei religion though :s.
I also love when people assume that atheists have no morals or goodwill towards others.
Meh. DH is very religious and I am an atheist. I'm sure some people were horrified that he married an atheist, but I do well, am a good person and most normal people know that.
I know a lot of "Christians" that do terrible things. I can thing of one man that was in the choir at church (as a kid) and was the treasurer, very involved, until it came out that he molested his daughters and granddaughters.
@KatyElle: we are Pastafarians too :-) All hail the Flying Spaghetti Monster!
@CaitMarae - don't worry about it too much. Clearly the guy is just very ignorant!
@SoupyCat: Sorry I just think your argument makes zero sense. I understand what you mean to tell people but if you told me that I'd just get quite frustrated. Atheism is not believing in "a couple of" gods and we both know it. You'd say that just to wind people up which I think it's a pretty poor move in a discussion.
(sorry - I just really hate it when people do that in a discussion, regardless of the subject)
I am not shy about my beliefs (or lack there of) but I'm always respectful. To be honest, I think most religions are almost laughable but I don't go around telling people who are members that I think they're ridiculous for believeing what they believe.
So first you say you're always respectful and then you say most religions are almost laughable.
I'm afraid I don't see how that's being respectful; I myself am a bit offended by your remark made in a public website.
@mrsBtoBee: Try not to get offended every time someone has an opinion that differs from yours. It will save you a lot of internet frustration.
I recently got into a FB throw down because someone said that my family is "exactly what is wrong with this country" because we are not Christians. I asked how many hours of community service they did per month, how many special needs children they have adopted, and how many angels they get off of the angel tree at Christmas time. Most of them responded "we don't have to answer those questions!" I then told them that my behavior was more akin to Christian principles than theirs were and I got deleted LOL.
Flying Spaghetti Monster FTW!
Hmmm...that pretty much sucks. My mother just recently became an atheist (she changes all the time) and she says the opposite to me, that I'm stupid for believing in God. I kind of understand what he's trying to say though (and I'm going to be bitch slapped for this for sure) that if there is no higher power, heaven, etc...what is the point of life without any purpose. Are we here to just suffer, die, and rot in the ground? It's really depressing to think about, but that's one of the big reasons why I believe in God.
Anyway, I'm sorry he was a jerk and felt the need to say that about you guys. He had no right and as long as you're a good person it doesn't matter what you believe:)
@moara: Well said. Christians view their entire earthly purpose as the desire to please God, bring others to God, etc. In this light, someone who does not even believe in God could not feel this purpose in their life.
OP: I am sorry he offended you. I don't know the situation or how he worded things, but I certainly hope he didn't intend to put you down or negate your life in that way - doing such things are definitely not Christ-like and not something I'd like to see from a pastor.
@JewishBride: But plenty of people feel their life is full of purpose (raising children, charity work, fulfilling love life, successful career) without the inherent need for belief in a higher power. It can't be that difficult to understand that some people are happy accepting that their time on earth is short and when it's over it's over, make the most of it now.
@SoupyCat: Those are such true words. Thanks !!
Also, to everyone hailing the flying spaghetti monster, shame on you. He isn't real. However, may I tell you about my good friend Yoda?
I feel like it's people like him that give Christians a bad name. I believe in God and my FI is an atheist. If anyone said something like that to my FI in front of me... I'd be pretty angry. It's just plain rude, and its rude to try and preach to someone you don't even know.
Sorry this happened to you...
I kinda have to agree with mrsBtoBee, you cant be respectful of someones religion and then say its laughable in the same sentence. If you think its laughable then your no different than the christian pastor who thinks your life has no purpose.
@KatyElle:It can't be that difficult to understand that some people are happy accepting that their time on earth is short and when it's over it's over, make the most of it now.
^^THIS!! Couldn't have said it better. I get so tired of people trying to convert or save me, its ridiculous. No, I do not and will not believe in your made up books, I did before but never again.
@UpstateCait: I am offended for you. People like that just need to learn to shut their mouthes, and let people believe what they want
@mrsBtoBee: So when someone preaches to me about how my life has no purpose because I don't believe in their god, that's fine, but if I ask them why it's fine for them to reject the gods of other religions, that's winding them up?
You're frustrated by people making perfectly logical arguments; I'm frustrated by your double standard.
@KatyElle:I understand that...but when so many horrible things happen during our lifetime people who believe in a higher power at least have some comfort knowing that there's a reason for it. During hard times people know that God wouldn't forsake them and leave them helpless and know that their loved ones that died are in good hands instead of just in the ground. That's what I mean. Life would be so lonely and pointless.
@bells:I agree. I was a little confused about that statement.
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