(Closed) Vent: Being a fat bride

posted 6 years ago in Full Figured
Post # 3
1736 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

Oh, OP. I know how you feel. My little sister/MOH is going to totally “Pippa” my wedding and I’ve just come to terms with that fact. I am a US size 12/14 and my sister is a size 2. Out of my five bridesmaids, only one is over a size 8. But the fact of the matter is…you are beautiful no matter what your size, what your body type, or what ever else you can think of. Beauty shines from the inside out and what makes you even more attractive is having the self-confidence that you are gorgeous. Screw everyone else. You are going to walk down that aisle towards a man that wants to marry you for ALL THE RIGHT REASONS. Concentrate on that and keep working, however slowly, towards your ultimate goal!!! You will be a beautiful bride!!!

Post # 4
878 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

You have these very healthy people in your life, ask if you can go to the gym, go running, or go walking with them. Ask for help, tell them to keep you accountable for exercising x times a week & not eating x, use them to help motivate you to not just be skinny, but to be healthy. I’m sure they will be more than willing to support you!

Post # 5
2616 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

Well, first of all, I’ve never seen a bride who wasn’t dazzling on their wedding day, and it didn’t matter whether they were size 2 or 30. I’ve seen brides who were disabled and brides who were disfigured and nothing will take away from the face of joy. YOU will be gorgeous, too. 

I know how hard it is to have self-critical days, but I also know no other way than to actively stop yourself from thinking self-critical thoughts. It sounds really stupid and cheesy, but you literally have to recognize when you think bad things about yourself and replace them with the good. Even if it’s as dumb as saying “Why hel-lo there, foxy!” to yourself in the mirror. If you’ve been trained to think of yourself a certain way, you need to un-train yourself. This is how you start. 

Furthermore, weight loss works best if you embark upon it from a position of self-love and confidence. You can’t look upon the journey as “fixing” yourself; you have to look upon it as something that you want to do for yourself–because you are deserving of self-love. I know that sounds all Dr. Phil and crap, but it’s true. If you’re not ready to do it now, that’s fine, and I commend your self-awareness in that. But don’t allow yourself to cycle into self-pity and blame either. Weight loss is a simply matter of incremental choices, from what you choose to eat and how much you choose to move. If you wanted, for now, maybe just focus on making those tiny adjustments–a tall latte instead of a grande; no mayo on the sandwich, a 20-minute walk in the mornings, whatever is easiest to do–without going full-tilt on a program. That might help you feel more secure and more in control. 

Beauty comes in all shapes and sizes. It really does. And I promise you, nothing is more beautiful than a happy bride. Well, maybe the happy mother who just gave birth–and she’s probably a mess to boot in that moment!

Post # 6
1438 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

Oh i think your being too hard on yourself. Its your day I know you will look gorgeous and no one will even think about your bridesmaids. But yes I understand about being overweight throughout life. I have heavy since i was in 2nd grade. I lost 50 pounds for about a year then gained it back and then some. But i still havent lost it again. I want to be skinny like my friends. But i have no motivation either. I do understand, maybe you should start asking them how they got motivated, maybe they can help you out. Ask for their support, I’m sure they will be glad to help.

Post # 8
483 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

If I was in your shoes, I would pick hideous dresses for them to wear. πŸ™‚

Just kidding.

Kind of.

Post # 9
454 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

Overweight bride here!  I just read this the other day and I thought it applied so here it goes: 

“If I compare, I lose. Maybe I’ll come out feeling better than somebody this time, but next time, I’m bound to feel worse. The best way to stop feeling that I’m not good enough, is to stop comparing altogether.”

I think you are the one assigning this “contest” in your mind or sense of competition or comparison, not them.  It’s hard not to, I know.  Everyone is an individual with different lives and brains and on top of that, everyone is in a constant state of change, every day.  It’s impossible to make a fair comparison between yourself and another human being, and even if it were, I think the above quote does a great job of articulating why it’s not a good idea to even attempt it.

Be kind to yourself!

Post # 11
847 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2016

I totally feel ya cazian I’m a 20 and my maids are a 2, 6, & 10!  And I feel the same way about being proud of them for being able to make smart healthy choices everyday!  But, you’ll get there too.  You’ll glow for your Fiance on your wedding day and everyone will see that beautiful bride!  Try not to stress and just focus on taking good care of yourself in the meantime…mind, body, and soul.

Post # 13
4466 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

@danicalifornia:  Totally agree!



@cazian:  This is coming from a person who runs marathons/half marathons/crazy trail races, etc. and eats healthy.  I would LOVE to help out a friend struggling with their weight!  People that are into health and fitness typically take a great amount of pride in it, and love to share knowledge and time with others.  I would not feel embarassed to ask your friends to join them at the gym.

Post # 14
1866 posts
Buzzing bee

OP, I am sure you will look radiant, stunning and glowing on your wedding day!  No one is going to be able to outshine the bride.  I know it’s SO SO hard, but try not to compare yourself to others.  And since all of your friends seem to live a very healthy lifestyle, maybe you could ask them to start including you in their meal planning/working out.  It could be great bonding time for all of you as well!

Post # 15
878 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

@hotchildinthecity:  Same here, I love going to the gym and running outside, and I would love to have a friend who was interested so I could “show them the ropes”.

Post # 16
347 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

You really shouldn’t worry about being upstaged. Everyone goes to see the bride, and don’t focus so much on the bridesmaids.

My older sister has always struggled with her weight, while myself and my youngest sister have always been pretty slim. She got married last summer and she looked absolutely STUNNING – no one gave a crap that we were skinnier than her.

It’s your day – and people will be focused on how amazing you look πŸ™‚

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