*Vent* BM got engaged after me and getting married before me……

posted 3 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Member
1613 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

@Sparkle_Bee:  At this point, I would give her a time frame to try the dresss on. Say you need her to let you know how it fits by “August 15” in case alterations are needed. If she does not, ask her in a nice way if she feels she can be both a bride and bridesmaid.

If she gets angry, you can alwasys tell her she should have volunteered to step down instead of just dropping the ball.

Post # 4
Member
3813 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2013 - Brookfield Zoo

@LuvMySailor:  +1, sound advice.

Post # 5
Member
3084 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

@LuvMySailor:  yea, I agree. She’s not being a great friend right now. 

Post # 6
Member
11668 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

I’m sure it will be fine. Some of my BMs didn’t get their dress until the week before the wedding. They figured it out and everyone looked great. Try not to stress.

Post # 7
Member
8720 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2013

I have 4 weeks until my wedding and only ONE out of SIX has tried on their bm dresses.

Post # 10
Member
626 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

@ LuvMySailor

Ding ding ding.


You can’t get mad, she’s got her own life and is prob just as equally stressed. I’d take the already given advice. Just let her know that you know she’s under a lot of stress, but if this is stressing her out too much she should let you know.


Are you in her wedding?

Post # 11
Member
3084 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

@asianbarbie:  she can get mad. This girl is being straight up rude and inconsiderate. the BM didn’t even buy her own dress. All she has to do is pick it up. 

Post # 12
Member
626 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

No I’m sorry, just because you’re getting married doens’t mean the world stops for you! you can’t get mad you roll with the punches, life is full of unexpected things. Like I said use the approach that was already mentioned.

Post # 13
Member
3084 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

@asianbarbie:  she’s not asking for it to stop. She’s asking her friend to take maybe an hour to try on her BM dress. That’s being respectful. And this BM isn’t even bothering to come to the shower. She really could be a better friend (the BM) but she’s being a really crappy one. 

Post # 14
Member
626 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

You can’t teach anyone but yourself manners and what’s disrespectful and what’s not. Ya she’s not being a good friend but before you judge you don’t know her side of the story, maybe the OP doesn’t know what’s going on.

Post # 15
Member
11772 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2013

That’s so bizarre! I’m sure planning her wedding isn’t taking up every second of her life to the point that she couldn’t pick up a dress!

Ugh. Hopefully you can get her for an afternoon (I’d offer drinks at your place), and see if she’ll try it on!

Post # 16
Member
137 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

Please don’t tell her “she should have volunteered to step down”. Did she try it on when they were ordered? Does she have the dress or do you?

My wedding is August 31 and some of my girls still don’t have their dresses in. I’m getting a little nervous but I’m not going to flip out on them over it. I assume that they know they might need alterations, and they’ll handle it.

FWIW my alterations for my dress took 2 weeks for the first round. I would have taken it home then by I decided to add a sash that I want sewn on, which is taking another week. So you still have time.

And about the shower, are you sure she doesn’t have a good reason? 3 of my BMs didn’t come to one of my showers (there were 2), and 3 (one of them being the same one) didn’t come to my bachelorette. Mostly they had very good reasons, and the one that wasn’t necessarily a good reason hurts my feelings, but I’m not going to throw a fit over it.

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