VENT : can't believe how much attending a friend's wedding will cost!!

posted 3 years ago in Money
Post # 3
Member
567 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

@cestvrai:  I have never been to a wedding out of state so I couldn’t imagine. Is there someone you could carpool with? Maybe that would cut down on part of the costs.

Post # 4
Member
9137 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL

@cestvrai:  We’re spending $2000 on plane tickets alone to attend a wedding next year in the UK.  Hopefully we can find a reasonably priced hotel nearby and thankfully public transportation is good and cheap over there so we won’t need to rent a car.  Our gift is our presence at the wedding since it’s costing us so much to attend.

My husband is also a GM so we have discussed only sending him if we can’t afford for both of us to go.

Post # 5
Member
1590 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

Hmm what burbs? Are you talking upstate, long island, or somewhere else? If it’s on long island you can probably take a train/cab from the airport to the hotel and I’m sure you can find a cheaper hotel. If that’s the case you can PM me.

Post # 6
Member
185 posts
Blushing bee

@cestvrai:  Ugh I feel your pain.  We’re looking at a few destination weddings over the next year or so.  We’re going to have to seriously consider how many/which ones we’ll go to.

Post # 7
Member
900 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2014

@cestvrai:  Dang – I’d rather skip the wedding and send them a nice gift.  Even if you gave them a nice $300 check you’d still be saving loads.

Though….being there for your friends is emotionally worth so much more.

Tough one.  Sorry to hear.

Post # 8
Member
951 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

@cestvrai:  🙁 Yup.  I went to a wedding in CA (live in WA) for a friend of mine.  Spent over $400 on the hotel, tons of money getting to and from places, airfare… the one and only time I haven’t given a gift at a wedding and I felt SO BAD cause I’d known the groom since 2nd grade.  But I just couldn’t afford it after all the travel expenses – any farther than CA and I probably wouldn’t have been able to attend.  I will probably get them a gift for their first anniversay that’s coming up.

Post # 9
Member
2114 posts
Buzzing bee

@cestvrai:  oh wow!! Yes I don’t think i would be comfortable spending around $2000 for a friends wedding. They would have to be a mighty good friend lol.

Is there another travel route you could do? Perhaps the train is a little cheaper?

could you carpool with someone from NY to the wedding location? So you don’t have to rent a car? Maybe one of the other groomsman you could split a car with him and his wife and even a room if you really wanted to save money.

Post # 10
Member
9531 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

Yeah, travel and NYC can get expensive quick! Where are you guys? We went to a wedding in upstate NY a couple summers ago and we drove from Cincinnati to Buffalo the day before, stayed with other guests and then carpooled up to the Adirondack’s that morning for the evening wedding. It was a lot of driving, but it was a hell of a lot cheaper than the plane tickets and a rental car would have been. As for hotels, NYC can be tough to find a cheap one, is there anything cheaper out in the burbs where the wedding is being held? Or maybe share a room with other guests who are looking for a cheaper alternative?

Post # 11
Member
3693 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

Can you get an airport shuttle?

Post # 12
Member
193 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

A great way to save on costs is to consider booking a studio/apartment using airbnb.com I’ve found fantastic deals there for all of our travel locations.

 

Post # 13
Member
2428 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

@Soon2BeMrsS:  aww that’s totally understandable. I’m sure your friends appreciated you coming more than anything. I’m having a semi destination wedding and am just thrilled that most everyone can attend – I could care less about gifts! 🙂

Post # 14
Member
4827 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2013 - Upstate NY

@cestvrai:  That’s horribly expensive. DH should have said no!!!

Post # 15
Member
1500 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

I hear ya! ALLLL my friends have out of state weddings and I ended up not being able to make most of them this year. I’m not made of money! But my NYC friends also usually don’t throw weddings in NYC as this place is mad expensive. 

Post # 16
Member
2063 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: February 2014

there’s gotta be some ways you can cut costs. if the wedding is in the burbs, i’m sure there must be cheaper motels around the actual venue? can you fly to a different airport that might be closer? can you take a train as PP suggested or drive? we have a really remote wedding to go to about an 8 hour drive from us but we’re gonna suck it up and do the drive because flights + rental car + hotel will be just too much. there’s gotta be a way to not spend the equivalent of an all inclusive, week long trip!

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