Post # 1
I just gotta vent bees. I got an email the other day from DH’s work about the spouses’ booster club doing a luncheon at the office today. I’ve been patiently waiting for the email b/c I figured it would be great to meet other spouses here.
So, Darling Husband was supposed to be home around 11 to pick me up to go to the luncheon and then we were gonna run an errand together. I know I mentioned to him I’d be ready at 11. Uhhh, 1 pm he decides to call me. I figured he had work stuff come up. Nope, he was at the luncheon. Says he didn’t think I wanted to go…was calling to make sure I ate lunch and he was on his way to take me to run the errand. WTF?
Actually, I hadn’t eaten…I figured he missed it too and we’d grab lunch. I went and did the errand alone. I’m really upset. I know he has a horrible memory but uhh, he didn’t leave for work until 9 this morning. AND it doesn’t help that AF is here!
Ok, vent over…hopefully I’ll be my cheerful self by the time he gets home!
Post # 3
So you talked to him this morning about wanting to go and he still forgot?
I don’t know that I’d deal too well with that especially if you are having trouble making friends.
I’d address it calmly but make sure he knows you are really hurt by what he did and “oops sorry I forgot” isn’t going to cut it.
I’m sorry that happened.
Post # 5
For seriously? Boys can be so lame sometimes.
Post # 6
I am so sorry he did that. That would make me really upset too. I would make dinner tonight, only enough for you and say you figured he wasn’t hungry. Ok, I probably wouldn’t do that, but I would talk to him and tell them how upset you are. I don’t think “having a bad memory” is a good enough reason to do something completely different then what the two of you had already discussed.
Post # 7
@ieatunicorns: I actually did make him a sandwich around noon b/c I figured he was hungry…now it’s sitting there looking all dry! He actually mentioned last night that some guys from work wanted to go out for happy hour tonight and he wanted me to go so not sure what the plans are for tonight! And he does have a horrible memory…I HATE having to remind him of stuff b/c I feel like I’m nagging…but he says I need to and it isn’t nagging!
@KatNYC2011: It’s been really hard for me to make friends overseas here. Since we don’t have kids, most of the moms hang out together. I figured it was another way to meet some more women. At least I start volunteering with another group next week!
Post # 8
That would tick me off, too. But it sounds as though your communication wires got crossed, maybe? Do you think he interpreted something as your not wanting to go to the luncheon? But, honestly, men sometimes! They could learn to talk, lol. Try to find out the explanation for it when you see him at dinner, maybe he really just thought you didn’t feel up to going.
Post # 9
I’m amazed at what people can forget sometimes – myself included. And my Fiance is contantly telling me to remind him of things, and I’m afraid I’m nagging, but he says I’m not.
I know you must be so terribly disappointed. You’ll have other chances to meet people, though.
Post # 10
@texasbee: I think it’s really important you let him know how important it is for you to meet people and how he really dropped the ball.
He’s a grown man. Tell him to put important things on his calendar. Or better yet, use a joint google calendar that is on his phone and set reminders for him. He should be doing this himself but it can’t always be on you to call him and remind him to do things.
The “oops I forgot” method wouldn’t fly at work, so it shouldn’t fly in marriage either.
Darling Husband and I sometimes have issues where he loses track of time. It’s taken a long time to work through that and have him understand that I don’t mind if he’s going to be late, I mind when i’m left hanging and don’t know whether he’s going to be late or not. I’ve told him I no longer accept “I lost track of time” as an excuse, especially when I have bought him a nice watch in the past!
Post # 11
@KatNYC2011: We have a shared email account that we leave messages for each other and put stuff on the calendar to remind us. Guess he forgot to check it today. He did mention wanting to work on the communication more….him, not me.
So I’m not mad anymore….I did make dinner….still waiting for him to get home. Logged into my weddingwire acct. and realized it’s our 6 month anniversary.
Post # 12
Wow that’s pretty bad. I’d be angry too. I think you should let him know how upset you are (shouldn’t be hard), but in the end chalk it up to a miscommunication mistake. These things happen.
Post # 13
texasbee My hubbie has a bad memory too….and I hate having to constantly remind him because as you said it sounds like I am nagging and I HATE that…we get into many disagreements over it….but he still forgets….
Post # 14
@ieatunicorns: I think that’s an awesome idea!
Post # 15
@ieatunicorns: lol that’s a good one. Or say “I forgot you were coming home!!”
Boys can be SO silly.. sorry this happened to you!
Post # 16
That would make me extremely upset too:(