- 3 years ago
- Wedding: May 2012
This is a letter I can’t send, so thanks for letting me get it off my chest!
Dear DH’s Best Friend’s Mom,
What you said to me at my wedding reception really made me angry, and it’s been weighing on me, so I thought I would send you a note.
First of all, I understand that the parent pulling aside the new spouse and being all “take care of him, he’s really wonderful” is kind of a tradition and I get that you’ve been like a 2nd mother to him and that’s why I smiled and nodded while you did that. But seriously, I do not need an extended lecture about how awesome he is. OBVIOUSLY I know how awesome he is, I freaking married him. You definitely just implied that I don’t know how awesome he is, which is really super offensive because it implies that I’m marrying him for the wrong reasons.
Second, I really do not appreciate the lecture about how I need to reconcile with his awful mother. I told you I’m always polite to her for the sake of him and his siblings, and it is so incredibly not your place to tell me that’s not good enough. It’s not your place to tell me she’s not a bad person, and btw, you’re wrong about that, she’s a TERRIBLE person. If you think this is all about me hating her because she didn’t come to our wedding and won’t acknowledge our marriage (because we don’t share her religion), maybe instead of lecturing me you should talk to DH and get the whole story about how physically, mentally, and emotionally abusive she is. It would be impossible for me to love DH as much as I do, and not hate that woman, she has caused him so much pain.
Third, even if you thought it was your place to lecture me about all this, how could you possibly think that it was appropriate to drag me away from having fun with my friends, who are never all in the same city at once, at my wedding reception and miss out on time with them to listen to your crap. That was incredibly inconsiderate.
And lastly, I saw you roll your eyes at DH when I made a quick excuse to run off when he saw you talking to me and came over. I heard you tell him “well you’re still always welcome at our table” as if he’s welcome despite his new wife being a total airhead who doesn’t take you seriously. Newsflash: I smiled and nodded like an idiot throughout your entire lecture, because the alternative was ripping your face off. Be grateful.
I know you care about DH, and I’m glad you were there for him when he was a little kid who needed a break from his crazy family, but if you want him to remain in your life as an adult you better start treating his wife with about 80 billion times more respect.