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We had an awesome time at our wedding, don't get me wrong -- but we did get a few weird comments that just kind of left me scratching my head and wondering what happened to the good old-fashioned "thank you."
During the reception:
"Wow, boring cake."
Guest 1: "This food is pretty bland." Guest 2: "Yeah, mine's not great, either."
And the day after:
"That was just 150 people? Wow, that's incredibly tiny. We had 300 people just for a casual birthday party."
"I guess the venue didn't have a lot of menu options, huh? The food wasn't THAT bad, though."
"Your cake wasn't THAT bad." [unprompted--we never thought it was bad!]
So are we the only ones--or did any of your guests make impolite comments?
Were these comments made to you (the bride and groom)? That is crazy but it sounds like its just more casual banter amongst guests. Our A/C wasn't really cool at our venue so I know people were complaining about taht.
OMG that makes me so sad to hear that you've received comments like that! I think comments like that might put me over the edge! Now I'm worried! I am worried about one person saying stupid stuff like that at my wedding. This woman who gets totally hammered drunk all the time and then says stupid crap to me about how we don't get along and how my FI is SO different now because of me (to her it's a bad thing) and ever since he got engaged he doesn't do this or that blah blah blah. She pulled this crap just this Saturday and I told FI that someone better keep her away from me at our wedding!
I sure hope no one says things like they said to you, that really is quite terrible. I've gotten a comment here and there about the things we're doing. Like, "but what are your colors?" Because I'm not a "two color" bride, they can't seem to grasp that...
Ugh, now I'm nervous for Saturday.
Hah, yes, these were made to us (bride and groom)! Most people were really polite, and DH and I laughed about these rude comments together afterward. I was just wondering if others got similar comments--or if we're special. :)
@stillme: WOW I cant believe people said that kind of thing!!! The only thing we got was that someone said our DJ was "weird" but that was a true statement because he randomly performed a break dance in the middle of our reception. It was very upsetting but it was true that it was "weird". Then we got the opposite of what you got - someone commented on how lovely our cake was - but it looked like SHIT!
People were probably just making small talk. It sucks...but dont worry too much about it! How rude of those guests though!
@stillme: Wow! I hope not. My mama would probably curse them out if they said something rude like that. lol
I can't believe that people would actually be so rude and say such. Sorry you had to deal with rude people.
We had one that might top the charts. Our little 2y/o flower girl was loud during our short 15 minute ceremony (which I ahve posted about before). She and her mother are Phillipino and her father (my BIL) is caucasian.
99% of our guests just accepted this as a child acting out and moved on, but we had one really ditzy guest come up to us during our cocktail hour and say "Did you HEAR that little asian baby screaming during your vows?!" I was offended by this on many levels, but mainly because we had literally JUST gotten married and the first thing she said to us was negative. I just kind of stared at her and my DH nodded and moved us away, he was FURIOUS!!
We had one person make several rude comments:
"Your father/daughter dance song was so inappropriate!" (It was 'I Loved Her First')
"Your DJ was okay, but bands are definitely better."
"The bartender at the rehearsal dinner was awful!"
"I could not stop laughing about how bad the ceremony singer was!" (I'll admit - he sucked. I laughed about it once with her. But then she kept talking about it. And would not shut up.)
"Your dress looked like your mom picked it out." (Not sure if that was an insult or not, but still an odd comment)
I was not a big fan of this girl to begin with so I did not take the comments personally but, c'mon, who says those things??
@runskiclimb:Haters say things like that! It's strange and self absorbed people that say things to other people on their special day! Some people come to weddings just to be nosey and see what they can talk about anyways. I wouldn't pay them any attention as long as you feel that your day was perfect, all of the other "Nay-sayers" can stick their opinion where the sun don't shine! LOL
I am only in planning stages, but I am getting odd comments from my FMIL already. We arent going completely out of the box, but she is sooooo traditional a lot of our decisions are blowing her out of the water. she just doesnt get it.
I chose these great dark purple shoes and she said "oohhhh that is OK, most people wont see them with the dress so it shouldnt be a problem" um, well I chose them because I liked that, not because I thought they would be a problem. There are many more left-handed comments like that. Not the end of the world, but odd.
I'm bracing myself for comments like that! We'll be having a non-traditional wedding in a traditional town! We're also inviting several special needs adults who will gladly share their opinions by yelling over the crowd (although, they're usually spot on and they're too awesome to be upset with! - you just NEVER know what they'll say! ). We're not having cake (it'll be donuts..the horror!), we're not getting married in a church (sinners!), we're not doing traditional vows (to have and to wha?), the best man is doing a video instead of a speech (shenanigans!), I won't be wearing white (gasp!)....oh the comments people will make!! I just hope the people who matter "get it" and the others can go suck an egg! 
My MIL did; one of the big ones was the night before. She said our wedding was going to suck and who ends their wedding at midnight? She wanted to have an after party at her room to make up for the suckiness and we were not invited.
We had a fantastic wedding, but for some reason, I am dying to hear some constructive criticism about the evening.
Everyone keeps saying it was "beautiful" and that they had a "wonderful time", but the fact that no one has told me anything negative is making me paranoid that they're all just being nice and trying hard not to say anything bad.
I know that sounds crazy, but just once I'd like to hear someone say "the music wasn't great", because at least I'd know they were being honest....
@runskiclimb: Oh my goodness how on earth is 'I Loved Her First' inappropriate?
I'm sorry all you ladies had such rude people making rude comments!
This does make me kinda nervous though...
The only one I got was from my boss. I had told him that we were planning on keeping speeches short (under 5 minutes a person). But I didn't clarify that our speech wasn't included in that.
For the most part, our speeches were short. My aunt's was super short and DH parents were kind of long, so it evened out.
Our speech wasn't scripted, we just had a list of people we needed to thank and we took turns thanking people. Our speech was probably 10ish minutes.
My boss said something along the lines of "when you go off the cuff, sometimes it gets long, we kept thinking you guys were done and then you thought of someone else).
Well, it wasn't that we thought of someone else ... we did have the list of 13 or so people to thank. We didn't really get the chance to thank people at the rehearsal dinner, so all of our thank yous got done at the wedding.
The comment didn't bother me ... but it is the only weird one I could think of.
@staceynrick: It sounds like you are going to have a really fun wedding actually. The suck an egg thing just made me lol.
@Misstnt: Haha tell them "I'm not decorating for prom, geez." I have tons of different colors and that's what I would say. Although I tend to be pretty sarcastic about anything wedding or relationship -wise haha.
I had just one guest who kept complaining during the wedding if you can believe it! for instance
- we had our croquembouche cake at the 'wrong' time because in France it's at the end of the wedding (the guest is french)
- the music was too loud to dance to (it wasn't stopping everyone else!)
- apparently I did my speech too quickly and I still talk too fast (right after my speech)
oh, and she kept calling me Mrs hislastname all weekend, even though I had made it clear to her several times that I wasn't changing my name (she was the only person to do this and after the 4th or 5th time I thought she was just being rude).
I just put together some blurb photo books, and I really had to make myself put in ones of her and her husband.
she was the only one though - and no one else complained about anything at all. She is just a moany person - I guess you always get one at a wedding!
I had several comments before the wedding, mostly judgments about my choice of venue, veil, and the works. I ignored them all. Thankfully nobody directed any rude comments toward me on the big day, because they may not have lived to finish their sentence! 
WOW! I'm so sorry, that is so rude! I swear adults need to take etiquette classes!
Thankfully, all of our guests were wonderful at our wedding! However, after, a friend of mine for years but one who ....is kinda awkward and needs some etiquette...said "I was suprised you offered a mushroom sauce with the chicken since so many people have allergies" (she works at a hospital in the kitchen/caf area) and I was kinda dumbfounded, especially because we also offered Filet Mignon and a Veggie option. I guess it wasn't that rude but it annoyed me for sure!
@staceynrick:LOVE IT!! People are soooo stupid! Seriously, you are a guest not the damn wedding police. I say the less tradtional the better the comments. I can't wait for ours...
~why are they having a wedding they are already married...they must just want gifts(we married in a private ceremony in 2008 and wanted to have one that included our family, and btw we are asking for donations to our favorite charity instead of gifts).
~what? no full open bar...only one hard alcohol drink, wine, champagne,and beer.
~they sure have a lot of kids(we have 5 together)
etc...people are shallow and lame
Yeah, my grandmother said "Well, it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be."
Coming from her, that was actually the ultimate compliment!
Yeaaaah i had a few. People are just awkward sometimes and say tacky things. No manners...but hey, it reflects poorly on them, not you :)
(i had someone grab my hand, ask me if i was going to wear my wedding bands like that....and go "oh that's....nice....." hatin' on the carats, that's all :P )
A few days ago, one of my coworkers mentioned that the bartender wasn't making his vodka-based drinks strong enough. Um, we were able to provide our own liquor and sprung for Grey Goose. I guarantee he had at least 7 or 8 vodka martinis. Seriously - suck it.
"Yeaaaah i had a few. People are just awkward sometimes and say tacky things. No manners...but hey, it reflects poorly on them, not you :)" -ejs4y8
THIS.
To answer your question, I don't remember people saying anything unless it was something WE pointed out didn't go that well. We had amazing people help us pull of a beautiful wedding. I feel SO LUCKY after reading your posts that our guests had such tact.
A few things, although the day was so amazing most of it doesn't bother me.
1) Apparently my great aunt complained loudly that she couldn't hear the vows (it was a beach wedding). I was a bit preoccupied so I have no idea.
2) A friend of mine made a comment about my dress being "big"=poofy? It was a modest a-line so I was a bit perplexed, but whatever. I'm pretty sure I looked awesome regardless :D
3) Not a comment perse, one of my bridesmaids had a bit of a, I'm not speaking to anyone, tantrum during the rehearsal dinner. She almost refused to go to the bachlorette party because of either jet lag or my theory she hated one of my friends :(
I just found out that my aunt asked my mom if my mom's best friend had come out of the closet yet. She's divorced and didn't bring a date but I hardly think that qualifies her as a lesbian, and besides that, who ASKS someone that?? RUDE!!!
I also found out that the same aunt complained that her family wasn't seated closer to the head table. Hm... given the fact that your feedback of the wedding was rude and inappropriate, it's a wonder that we didn't seat you closest to us....
I feel like I need to prepare myself for the nastiness. Because it is totally going to happen.
We have had a lot of - how shall I say - 'feedback' about the wedding and it's still ten days away!
300 people for a birthday party? Now that's crazy!
There were a few things people said that pissed me off. My one friend decided right after my ceremony would be the right time to point out how noisy it was b/c a car parked right there with a blasting radio. Thanks for letting me know, as I was in the moment and didn't hear a thing other than my hubby and rabbi.
And the worst thing, my uncle (who is usually rude) told my hubby he looked awful. That's a quote, he used the word awful. He had lost a ton of weight b/c he was sick. So yes, he didn't look his healthiest, but he was still a handsome groom!
We didn't really get any rude comments, but we were really blunt with our guests (maybe too blunt/open, haha) from the start, so no one was surprised by the lack of alcohol or anything else.
Our DJ did play weird elevator like electronica music during the dinner hour, and we were all kind of like "What the crap is this?" at the head table, but no one mentioned it until we laughed about it to some of the younger tables - at that point, one of my college friends joked that it felt like being on hold, but it was very apparent that he wouldn't have said anything if we hadn't first.
Otherwise we didn't really get any negative comments at all.
I think we get these comments because some of the people we invite tend to be.... self absorbed? They cannot stand that someone else is the center of attention the whole day so they feel that if they say negative things at least SOMEONE will be thinking about them.
There is only one person, my uncle, I am a little worried about. I don't care what he says to me, just dont be rude my guests. At a party he asked very good friends of mine if the husband was cheating because she was pregnant and didnt look the same. Furious is not even the word to describe how I felt.
I am very worried about this happening with my own relatives. My friends tend to be socially appropriate, but I have one aunt and one uncle who are so far out of line on so many occassions that it's a foregone conclusion at least one of them will say something rude or do something mortifying.
Examples: my aunt - who is divorced, in her 50s, and heavy - went all cougar on a 20-something sommelier at a really nice restaurant during my brother's graduation dinner. In front of all of us! And my uncle told me not to get married a few days after we got engaged - during a little engagement party, and in front of my family and my fiance. Ummmm, thanks, but I'm not taking advice from someone with your "life experiences."
My uncle wore a tshirt under his button down that had a picture of a bride and groom and said "game over." A little rude, but knowning he's a jokester were didn't take it too personal and just kind of laughed it off. He and and my aunt ended up getting a divorce later that year (it was probably a long time coming) so in some ways I can understand why he'd be so cynical.
I got one for ya! How about your brother and his soon to be bride making comments such as "When shall we call the divorce attorneys?" And mind you this is during the ceremony and i only found out about it b/c my sister was furious about my brothers behavior and discussed it with me later. Trust me..i waited a while but then i confronted it. I did not make an arguement out of it but i made sure they knew that i was aware of the rudeness. Apparently it was more so his soon to be blushing bride than he himself, but as far as i am concerned it was completely disrespectful to our family and the day. Granted they said it was all in good fun, but i find NO fun or humor in that what so ever!
Then at the reception, i go to their table to greet them and give hugs, etc and all my brother says is "When does the beer get cheaper?" He happened to be buying his beer instead of drinking the liquor provided and apparently that was his jab at saying he thought we were cheap or something.
I could actually go on and on about the disrepect from 2 of my siblings on our wedding day as my older sister partook in the "ruin dawn's wedding day fun", but i've chosen to chalk it up to their unhappiness. I am a happily married woman with a life i always dreamed of having and i refuse to let anyone (even a sibling) cross the line with me =)
I hope all of you bees that experienced these bits can also work past it even though it does hurt i must say. I wish you all the best and from one recent bride to the next...i'm sure you ALL have lovely weddings and as long as you and your groom were happy then really that's all that matters!
Some of these are completely unimaginable. I was completely prepared for my grandfather to make inappropriate comments and really had trouble sitting people at his table because I didn't want him offending others. I know this is his way and he says things that are mostly rude all the time but people who don't know him would have a different opinion. Turns out he was well behaved and really enjoyed himself at the wedding.
However, when we visited him after coming back from our honeymoon he made some seriously inappropriate comments in jest. He claimed he had the best seat in the house because he was sitting behind the BMs, one of whom has huge boobs. He also said the ceremony (Catholic church) was so long that he would have been married, drunk and knocked up the bride in the time it took us to get married. He commented that we must have spent a lot of money on the wedding but somehow was not disapproving which was the attitude I would have expected based on his suggestions to use a different venue and complaints about distance prior to the actual wedding.
@canambride - WTF!???!?!? Who says that!! What a nutbar!
LOVING this thread haha
That scares me. I used to make comments behind closed doors about a few weddings here and there. Never to the bride or groom's face. I don't do it anymore since I have been engaged. Now that I understand all the work and detail that goes into it, I have more respect for the couple.
I attended a beautiful wedding in Newport, RI. this past summer and one guest said to me "wow, how are you going to top this wedding off"
Didn't know it was a competion.
One of my BRIDESMAIDS complained the entire night about the DJ. She and another BM refused to dance after the Bridal Party dance song. After that, they just sat and chatted. And went on and on about how much the DJ sucked. Thanks, Ladies!
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