(Closed) Vent: Disappointing wedding day events

posted 5 years ago in Married Life
Post # 3
Member
9917 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2013

Your bridesmaids sound awful, I’m so sorry!

 

Do you have a contract with the venue that specified you would be the only event, and that they would not bring guests through?

Post # 4
Member
11273 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2012

sounds like you have some colourful friends and family members.

well, bottom line, you are married and really, that’s all that matters.

congratulations.

Post # 5
Member
183 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: December 2013

Sorry that it didn’t live up to your vision. You have the right attitude by thinking of the positives. ((HUGS)))

Post # 6
Member
489 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

That’s so lame! I’m sorry that happened to you. I know how you feel in some ways. I had many mishaps including a non working microphone, and since my wedding was a daytime between lunch and dinner wedding, many of my guests didn’t bring gifts, ate, and then left, and my wedding was only scheduled from 2:30-6! I think I invited to many young friends from high school =/ about 15-20 guests who rsvpd yes didn’t show up, and a bunch of people brought kids after we strictly said no kids. At the end of the day all the bubbles we bought to send us off were a waste, there was no one left but our parents to send us off D= I had to accept quickly that, what was supposed to happen happened, I married DH. When I think about the day I know people had fun, I got great pictures, I had fun, and DH and I spent time with the people who really wanted to be there which is all you can ask for. It takes some time, but you’ll feel better about it as time passes.

Post # 7
Member
8 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I’m so glad someone made a thread about this! My wedding was also disappointing as the venue was awful (terrible service) and some of the guests didn’t behave themselves (one got sent to the hospital at the end of the night from alcohol poisoning and my MIL was drunk and acted like a brat the entire night). It’s just so hurtful when I hear some of the guests complain about parts of the wedding and then they go and rave about someone else’s. Although most people have not been talking much about my wedding, it leads me to believe that their time was less than memorable at the wedding. I know that only my happiness should matter, but, since I didn’t really have a great time, it would be nice to know that everyone else did. I feel ripped-off because it’s my special day and I’m supposed to feel like a princess, but I didn’t, especially once the reception started.

I’m wondering how you girls forget about all this and move-on? I’m finding it so hard to put it all in the past because it was one of the most special days of my life and it was essentially ruined. Will I ever be able to move past this?

Post # 8
Member
8 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I wrote a post on this a couple weeks ago. I was a lot more upbeat in my post than I really felt. I married my husband at the end of August, and for the week and a half after all I did was focus on the things that went wrong. I had such a sour taste in my mouth. I felt selfish. I just married by best friend and so many people came out to celebrate with us, and all I could do was wonder what I could have done differently so everything was perfect. What was wrong with me!

Little by little as time created more distance, my attitude began to change. When I read my old post, the things that went wrong seem so silly, and the pictures I have (from friends only so far!) make my heart soar! I can’t wait to get the professional ones back! I think you’re doing exactly what you need to do, trying to focus on the positive things that happened. It’s certainly easier said than done however! 

We spend so much time planning our weddings that we’re not just the guests of honor, we’re the party planners/hostesses/etc. It’s a lot of pressure to make sure every detail goes according to plan, and there are so many things we have no control over. I think no matter what went wrong, with time, you’ll move past it. The beautiful pictures will help, and a lot of the things that went wrong will be great stories to tell in the future (so everyone tells me!). Find a few pictures that really highlight the best parts of the day and don’t stop looking at them!

 

Post # 9
Member
2 posts
Wannabee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I am so sad to hear so many stories of disappointment & let down regarding your special days. I truly feel for those of you who have experienced a less than perfect wedding, it must be awful to come away wishing things had been different & feeling any kind of regret. My problem is the opposite. Six months after getting married I cannot help but feel disappointed, that the most amazing day of my life is over, & that nothing else will ever live up to it again! Is this normal? My husband & I had been together for twelve & a half years before he proposed to me last christmas. By which time I had pretty much given up on the dream of getting married, because I simply didn’t believe it was ever going to happen. After waiting all those years to pop the question, when he finaly did, he was so excited that he said he wanted to do it as soon as we could, so we married just four & a half months later, on May 14th this year. Within two weeks of his proposal we had booked the date, the honeymoon, & I had found my dress. It really was a whirlwind! We married on an empty beach beside the Indian Ocean in Sri Lanka, & our only guests were our parents & my brother in law. I had never imagined getting married without all of our friends & family there to celebrate with us, but now, I wouldn’t change it for the world. It was casual & intimate, relaxed & easy, & I actually found that having only our closest family members there with us made it even more special. Our wedding transportation was a beautiful indian elephant, my flowers were bright, fresh & tropical, & maybe because I hadn’t had years to plan & build up my expectations, it was the most perfect wedding I have ever attended. -Perhaps as the bride I am also a little biased! Before the big day, my main concern was that I didn’t have long enough to look forward to it. We were so busy organising everything, includinga big reception on our return to the UK, that I never really had the chance to take a breath & revel in the delight of excited expectation. Having read some of your stories, maybe this was actually a blessing in disguise. We spent out honeymoon in the Maldives, which had been my dream destination since childhood, & after the most incredible 3 weeks of my entire life, (9 nights in Sri Lanka & 12 in the Maldives), we came home to a wonderful reception, where I got a second chance to wear my beautiful dress. It was the most amazing experience I am sure I will ever have. Six months on however, I feel almost deflated by the fact that it’s all over. Not even a year has passed since he proposed to me, & yet I am already married & my wonderful memories are all I have left. The point I am trying to make is this. Perhaps in some ways we all expect too much from our “fairytale wedding”. Some of us spend months or even years in the planning stages, which gives us too much time to dwell on every tiny detail, allowing our expectations to grow to an unrealistic level of perfection. Others of us, spend barely any time at all organising our special day, which leaves us too little time to apprecite & look forwrd to it, & before we have the time to blink it’s all over. I guess at the end of the day, as long as we married the right person, it really doesn’t matter who was there to see it & who wasn’t, whether or not the venue was as grand as we had hoped, or even whether the sun shined or if it didn’t. Our wedding day was just the first day of the rest of our lives with the person that we love, & our marriage is what will really count when we’re old & grey & looking back, not that one single day in our life.

Post # 10
Member
2 posts
Wannabee
  • Wedding: May 2012

just wanted to appologise for the lack of paragraphs in my post. I did put them in, but for some reason when I submitted it, it printed as one huge piece of writing!

Post # 11
Member
2545 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

If it makes you feel any better, I still cringe at the thought of my wedding cake, which was decorated wrong – so wrong from what I asked for – and looked like it was covered in pubic hair. Yes I’m not joking. I hated it. I still hate it in pictures. Ugh. I had such a gorgeous vision and ended up with a cake covered in black hair frosting.

Lots of other stuff went wrong but the cake bugs me the most! It was horrible looking! And then I thought, omg people are going to think I wanted it like this! Ugh… 

Really didn’t like my bouquet arrangement.

Nobody made a peep in the audience during speeches and I thought we would have a roaring crowd. Like …crickets. My DH even sang to me and I thought for sure he would get a standing ovation. Nope. Just me stood up.

My dress was ripped by dinner.

My nephew crawled all over the floor during the whole dinner, popping up under random tables. To the point that our guests were taking pictures of him in a ‘where’s waldo’ type thing. He also photo bombed our first dance by sitting on the dance floor the whole time. Uh, he’s 8. Yeah…

One month after our wedding, my bridesmaid went to another wedding and posted on fb that it was THE wedding of the year! Um…hi? You were just IN my wedding. That hurt my feelings.

I got told that you are lucky if nothing goes wrong your wedding day because no matter how hard you plan, something always does. It’s people, people are the variables. You can’t predict how they will act.

Ah well. Sucks but what can ya do? I feel those a minor disappointments but overall it was the best day ever. As long as you had some things go right and you are happy that’s what counts.

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