Post # 1
Being unemployed sucks. It really, really sucks. It makes me totally doubt my self worth and life decisions. I’m officially at 36 days of unemployment and my mind is exploding. This seems like a bad sign. I know this could last a lot longer. I’m so bored, I don’t know what to do with myself. The idea of networking gives me hives (although I’m doing it.) I feel dread everytime I send out a message on linkedin or go to a networking event, like I need to barf. Every resume I send in feels like a massive rejection, because I know I’m not going to hear back from the employer. I feel inadequate and awful.
I have no idea how I’m going to pay next month’s rent. I’ve had to ask my parents for money to help out. It is beyond humilating at the age of 28. I’ve been supporting myself since I moved out at 21. They thought they’d never see me again, so my room is a TV room with no bed. Guess, they made sure going home was not an option. I feel like my SO feels like I’m not trying to pull my weight. He has been supporting me in addition to my parents, and I feel like such a scumbag when he gets home from work and I’m sitting on the couch browsing the internet.
I’m just venting. I’m sure I’ll find something eventually. I’m sure that my SO and parents are not trying to make me feel unwanted or scumy. I know its all in my head. In the meantime, however, life just sucks. I talked to two of my girlfriends today one of whom was unemployed for a year after graduating from a very prestigious masters program, and it made me feel a lot better. I haven’t talked to them for several months. Sometimes the best advice is from those who’ve actually been where I am.
Everyone else I know is ridiculously successful. (Yes, my best friend from high school came to visit me this weekend, and she was made a professor AT HARVARD at the age of 26. I love that girl, but damn, why does she have to be so successful?) I’m just feeling so, so inadequate right now. Plus I’m on my 3rd glass of wine. Anyone have any success stories boulster my spirits?
Post # 3
Hugs and sympathy. I quit my job to move to the city FI got transferred to, and I haven’t found a new job yet. It really sucks.
Post # 4
@lawyerchick13: I feel your pain, but I don’t have a heartwarming story. I was unemployed for a year and 7 months. And then I ran out of UC so I had to accept the only non-fast food job offer I had gotten. It was less than half of my old pay. I’m still there because I just started in May. I haven’t been sending out any more applications or resumes because I’m trying to use this job to gain experience (as I have never worked in this field before). Hopefully by next year I will have a better job, but we’ll see. If FI wasn’t paying the rent I would have already moved back home. Let’s all cross our fingers and hope the economy picks up really soon!
Post # 5
I know the feeling and it sucks, but If I wasn’t unemployed for 8 months I would not have volunteered somewhere andmet my SO before getting my job, so I can’t really moan about it lol. As you’ve met SO, perhaps have a ponder about what youcan gain from not working at this moment in time…volunteering? Doings some crafts as a treat for job hunting all day? Do something you’d not be able to do when working full time. Then, just when you’ve given up you’ll get that breakthrough.
Post # 6
Are you an attorney?
My FI is currently unemployed for 9 months so far. It’s hard to find a job. I would suggest that you keep yourself busy at home by being productive at home. We had huge fights about him not pulling his weight, went to a couples counselor, and then worked things out. He now gets up in the mornings with me to work out, then makes me breakfast and packs my lunch and prepares dinner while I’m at work. He also cleans up around the house and takes care of things around the house that need to be take care of.
I ask if you’re an attorney bc there are tons of things you can do to work for yourself until you find a job.
Post # 7
I would say first and foremost to limit your recreational Internet time. Distractions like that are a massive time suck without really enriching your day. Take up some regular social activities, like a book club, or church choir, or volunteering at a community theatre or whatever. You can also take up home time by learning something new. Gardening, cooking, woodwork, refurbishing furniture, whatever. Just keep busy, kee applying, write a cover letter for every company, set goals, and NEVER ever give up.
Post # 9
You’ll get through it. This probably isn’t the most heartwarming story, but after over a year of unemployment my DH found a job. All was going well for about 10 months until he got laid off again a month before our wedding. A few months later he found another job, though. So, you will get through it. It might not always be easy, but there is a light at the end of the tunnel!
Post # 10
I am in your position as well, it’s been almost 5 months and I can only clean the kitchen so many days in a row before I want to explode….I’m so isolated, on top of that I’ve gained 15lbs since I lost my job. My FI’s job covers our expenses but nothing left over- have to hold off on saving for the wedding until I find a job. I’ve had interviews but no job offers, my family is now suggesting our local grocery store. No one understands why I can barely get out of bed in the morning, everything is so overwhelming. I’m 31 and feel like I am so far behind in life. Sorry no advice but that your not alone and this can’t last forever ( my attempt at being optimistic)
Post # 11
- Wedding: June 2014 - British Columbia
If you don’t mind me asking, what types of jobs are you looking for? (Based on your username, are you looking for jobs in law firms?)
The reason why I ask is depending on the industry, a lot of jobs are unadvertised. A lot of the job postings at job fairs are entry-level at best. Job hunting in 2008/2009 was depressing.
OP, just out of curiosity, do you customize each resume for each posting?
I wouldn’t compare you to your seemedly successful professor friend. It isn’t healthy to your self-esteem. (I did that too; friends who graduated a year before found jobs within a month; it took me 3 months after graduation in a seemedly oil-rich Canadian province — but I then realized that there are a lot of things I cannot control)
Funny thing was the interview was in May (many years ago), but I was dead sure I wasn’t going to hear back. Turned out that the recruiters were falling behind schedule in giving call-back for successful candidates.
If it makes you feel any better, a typical idle phase during job search is 3 to 6 months. It sucks — employers are so swamped with resumes. I helped out with recruitment for one position and over 100+ resumes were received. It takes A LOT of work to come up with resumes and cover letters that stand out and sound sincere; it was easy for me to pick out which applicants didn’t even read the job description. So, having observed both sides of the recruiting process, job hunting IS really like dating, except that you don’t get flowers.
Post # 12
@lawyerchick13: I just wanted to tell you that I can really, really sympathize with you right now. I’m dealing with some serious health and family issues that have made it impossible for me to work full-time, so I left my well-paying job in May after DH and I made a very, very comprehensive budget that would allow us to survive on just his salary. His job seemed very secure. BUT GUESS WHAT. He got laid off a week after I left my job, and he’s been on a constant job search ever since (it’s been 3.5 months now). We have a mortgage and all of the other expenses associated with home ownership, and we went from being completely independent to relying on our families for almost everything (I’m working part-time). DH has applied to a masters program that is supposed to start in 12 days (!) and he hasn’t heard yet whether or not he’s in (they have rolling admissions). I had a total meltdown on the phone with my mom today, because I feel like I’m at the end of my rope. I’m willing to work but I need to take care of my health, so it’s very frustrating. I hate that I’m not financially independent. The one upside is that DH and I have started thinking very creatively about how we’re going to get through this. The job market is a pile of crap right now, so we can’t control that, but we’re going to start simplifying our lives, selling our possessions that we don’t use, and trying to see how we can earn some money in unconventional ways. A big step for both of us was releasing ourselves from the pressure to be “successful” by other people’s standards. I hear you when you say that you’re surrounded by successful friends. It’s very hard not to compare yourself to them. I do it all the time, but it doesn’t help anything. Also, don’t forget that there might be more to their story than meets the eye. I have a few friends who, at first glance, look like they’re on top of the world, but they’re actually harboring so much consumer debt, it’s hard to believe. I really hope things turn around for you soon!
Post # 13
Sorry you are going through this.
If I were you, in the meantime, I would watch some kids. Yes, people ALWAYS need babysitters! Trust me, I know. Have your background check done (really cheap), and watch about 3 toddlers per day.
You have to get creative in this economy.
Post # 14
@Butterfly6: How do you find babysitting gigs? I don’t know anyone with kids, and I’m leery to go to some random person off craigslist’s house. I’m highly educated, and I taught kindergarten abroad, so I have experience with kids. I would like some cash, but I also don’t want to get murdered. 🙁
Post # 15
you can set up some flyers near schools? Or maybe start by volunteering at a school and then let the parents know you are available for babysitting tutoring?
Also, I know this is not the most high-end job, but it pays so…. Dog walking in chicago pays pretty well, I’ve done it on and off for a bit as a student. Usually I just go up to ppl with pets, talk to them and then let them now I can pet sit or walk. If you want to be extra-creeepy/savvy you can also approach people at a dog-park —dont go w/o a pet, borrow someones
Post # 16
@lawyerchick13: care.com is a great way to get in touch with people looking for babysitters or caretakers or to advertise your own services.