Post # 1
Hubby and I got married about 6 mos ago. MIL complained about the venue, food, hotel, etc both during and after the wedding. She has said some really hurtful things about the quality of our wedding. Also, the in laws did not pay a dime for the damn thing. Now BIL got engaged to his fiance (yay! she’s a good girl). But my happiness for them is dampened by my belief that FMIL will make comparisons between the two weddings. I know that this is small of me, but she has said some very, very nasty things to me re: the wedding and she always brags about how FSILs family is so wealthy and how they will throw her such a beautiful wedding. I am already dreading the comparisons. I know, I need to grow up
Post # 3
@carolsdaughter: Just remember that your day was what you and your husband wanted. Don’t let them get you down! I’m sure you had a beautiful wedding that was just what you had envisioned!
Post # 4
@arsing89: I’m trying. The fact of the matter is that things DID go wrong on my wedding day, it’s just that FMIL loves to point them out. lol
Post # 5
You are not the one that needs to “grow up”. The MIL does. Lol my FMIL said that she hates weddings… 6 months into our planning process and I told her, ” I am sorry you feel that way but your son & I hope you have a memorable time at our wedding.” and that shut her up good.
I would say this to her when she begins to make nasty comments:
“MIL, my wedding was a special day for me and I know, that BIL & his fiance are working on making their day just as memorable. It is hurtful to me and I know it is hurtful to them when you make comparisons and hurtful opinions. Let’s take the time to enjoy the planning and the wedding. “
Post # 6
@carolsdaughter: Remember that your day was PERFECT for YOU! It’s hard to hear constant reminders. My grandmother does this STILL. So and so did this for their wedding, their baby is SO cute (we are struggling to concieve) I just keep repeating, “good for them” or “that’s nice”. I totally get where you are coming from. Hugs!
Post # 7
thanks guys. I’m really trying hard not to be jealous or resentful. BIL and FSIL really enjoy a special day and I need to be their for them. It’s just that her comments hurt
Post # 8
Every time your MIL opens her mouth, think to yourself:
“What a small-minded and cruel person. How awful she must feel inside that she devotes so much time to putting other people and their happiness down.” Focusing on the fact that she is someone to be pitied, I think, can spare you a lot of resentment and anger.
Post # 9
I never advocate being rude…unless someone completely has it coming, then if you do it just right, she won’t even figure out you took a shot at her until she gets home….
MIL: I cannot wait for you to see BIL & FI’s venue, it’s so much lovlier than the one you two chose.
You: I simply cannot wait either! You’ll be able to show me everything that’s better about it, since there’s nothing more exhilirating than pointing out the shortcomings of others, is there?
Post # 10
@carolsdaughter: wow, I’m always amazed at how tacky people can be, and just how down right mean they can be. That the hell is her problem anyway? Maybe if she opened up her wallet a bit then you all could have had the extravegant wedding of HER dreams. I like Nona99’s advice…
Oh, there’s nothing more fun than being a guest at a huge, fancy, expensive wedding so you go on and enjoy yourself there!