(Closed) Vent: Feel like I am FI’s assistant and sick of planning

posted 8 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
4547 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

Hmm…I would sit down with him and let him know how you’re feeling. When are you guys getting married? Maybe he’s feeling overwhelemd with all the choices? You know him better than we do but I’d really reccomend sitting down with him and letting him know exactly how you feel and why you’re feeling that way. And see what he says, since you say him acting like his involvement is a big deal is something new.

Post # 4
Member
3176 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

I know the feeling! What made/makes me more upset is that I ask him something and then he comes up with his “great” idea. “Oh you want live tigers at the reception? Great yeah let me work on that” Sooooo not helpful.

Post # 7
Member
4547 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

It sounds like he may feel frustrated and like wedding planning is taking over his life…which may result in him being extra picky and acting like he is. I know at first, my FI felt overwhelemed by all the things we needed to do and all the decisions there were to make. I think he thought weddings just planned themselves! However, as time went on and we got closer to the wedding he got more and more involved. To the point where he even WANTS to go to the florist with me, even if he has to leave early…something I never thought I’d see haha! Maybe plan a “wedding free” weekend where you don’t talk about the wedding or do anything related.

Post # 8
Member
1757 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

After coming up with my list of 2-3 best options in many categories and having my fiance veto option after option after option, I finally made a rule that if he vetoes something, he has a week to come up with an alternate option. If he doesn’t care enough to come up with something that we both like, then he doesn’t care enough to veto. Suddenly, he’s finding way more of my suggestions acceptable and getting substantially better at offering his own ideas.

Post # 10
Member
1154 posts
Bumble bee

I’d think very seriously about forgoing the reception.  IMO one isn’t worth doing unless both of you want it and are willing to work on it.  If he isn’t on board – fine, forget it. 

The topic ‘Vent: Feel like I am FI’s assistant and sick of planning’ is closed to new replies.

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