Weddingbee boards

FH and I have gone through hell and back planning this wedding, but I've been trying to stay motivated. Lately, all I do is cry and lose sleep (I'm crying as I type this..smh). I've tried to talk to FH about it, but he's so optimistic, he doesn't really see how stressed I am.

Things were starting to look up at the beginning of this year, but now, it just seems like I completely failed at everything. I know I put a lot of pressure on myself, so that probably isn't helping. FH's family is on my last nerve and I still haven't spoken to my mom or grandfather since my grandfather's party in November (really, I haven't spoken to either of them since August). Since I spent so much time last year trying to mend a broken relationship with them, I didn't focus on planning our big day. I feel like this all got thrown together and now we're trying to fix anything we can. I'm not even excited about our small honeymoon anymore. I don't know..I'm just not happy. Every time a little problem comes up, I feel like it's just added to the weight on my shoulders. I can't lie, I've been a little jealous seeing how everyone's planning is going and how people are getting the wedding of their dreams and I feel like the exception. I hate to sound full of self-pity, but I can't help feeling like this.

We don't want to elope because we both know it would kill my dad and his family if they missed our wedding. My dad is trying his hardest to be a dad now and we finally have a relationship; I can't risk leaving my dad heartbroken. We're already keeping the guest list small - only family and a few friends, about 25 people. I've been thinking about postponing the wedding, but I'm terrified of starting completely from scratch. We don't want to wait until next year because I'm planning on taking the GRE and applying to grad school - I definitely don't want to jeporadize that. We've invested so much money, time, sweat, and tears into this wedding and it just feels like it's being wasted. At this point, we just want to be married lol. Hopefully the wedding goes smoothly..I just want to get it over with.

aw Im sorry your feeling so down about this. The best advice I had,was to just have a couple of days off. The world wont end if you take a long weekend,with lots of bubble baths and just taking time for you and your fiance. I suffered with a lot of insomnia about 2/3 months before my wedding,where I would go to bed and not be able to sleep because my mind was still going 100 miles and hour. I dont know how I got through that,I think it was just eventually time,and trying not to put too much pressure on myself.

Remember,this day is about you and your partners love,not pleasing other people,and ultimately no matter what you do or dont plan,you will be married very very soon!!!

@kimbo89:  Thank you for the advice! I appreciate it.

kimbo is right about taking some time off!

I think what helps me when I stress out is to remember why I want a wedding.  I want a wedding because I want to celebrate my marriage to the most wonderful man I have ever met.  He is my best friend, my soulmate, and I want to share that day with all of my loved ones.

I want people to enjoy themselves and be happy for us.  Anything else is secondary to this. Maybe the photographer won't show up.  Maybe we can't afford a DJ (we can't; the photographer is a gift or we wouldn't have one).  Maybe my boquet will be made of paper flowers and my dress was a $99 sale special.  We might not even be able to get married in our church because of a mistake that I made when I was younger.  But at the end of the day, we will be married, and that is what matters.  Every time I start to freak out during the wedding planning (it's happening a LOT), I make myself take a break, pour some wine, think about the things I just wrote, and then start listing the things I love about my fiance and our relationship.  I feel a lot calmer by the end of it and can keep going with the planning.

It is fantastic that you've rebuilt a relationship with your father, and it sounds like your fiance is really supportive, and it sounds like you're doing a great job of keeping your head about you even when you're upset, even if it doesn't seem that way to you.  Your wedding will be beautiful, your guests will have a great time, and you will be married to the love of your life. 

I'm so sorry. I know it can sometimes feel like bad things are coming from every direction...

Try to find solice in knowing that things WILL get better and that everyone has ruts. 

Thnking of you!

double post!