Vent: Fi's ex is still not letting him meet his son! (Long)

posted 3 years ago in Family
Post # 2
Member
42538 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

nessdawwg:  I suggest he get a lawyer. That doesn’t necessarily mean court right away. My lawyers have an expertise in mediated settlements in family law.

Post # 3
Member
6048 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: March 2012

Get a father advocate type lawyer.  There are those that specialize in that.  I would hurry up and get on that. 

Post # 5
Member
592 posts
Busy bee

Lawyer time.

Post # 6
Member
1136 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2015

nessdawwg:  I certainly don’t envy your situation but I truly hope it all works out for you guys!

Going to court can take up a LOT of time and money and often gets dragged out for an insane period of time (I have a family member going through this at the moment and its honestly heartbreaking.. so far they’ve been in and out for 18 months and still no result!) I would certainly recommend trying to work this out mutually, and once things are sorted, having legal paperwork drawn up so the mother can’t just change her mind.

However if you do need to go down the court route, go in prepared. The sad fact of the matter is that dads often get the dodgy end of the stick in these situations so write down everything you’ve experienced so far, your attempts to work things out, your wishes etc. and definitely seek proper legal advice. Depending on your income, legal aid is available.

I think so long as you keep his son’s best interests at heart (which I’m sure you are!) you will get a positive result in the end. Just be prepared for this to be a lengthy process. Unfortunately while it probably doesn’t seem like it now, three months actually isn’t too long to be dealing with this sort of thing and chances are it will take a while yet before you guys have this all worked out. It may be a bit of a rollercoaster of emotions for your FI but i’m sure with your support you’ll get there in the end!

Good luck with it all!

Post # 7
Member
1400 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

I’m so sorry you’re going through this! I don’t have any legal advice to offer, but I will say this:

Explaining to your FI’s family that he hhasn’t been able to meet his son yet because his son’s mother hasn’t made it to the arranged meeting times isn’t bad mouthing her. It’s the truth. Bad mouthing her would be saying it’s probably because she’s on drugs or something. They’re eventually going to find out what kind of person she is anyways, don’t defend her at the cost of villifying your FI.

Post # 9
Member
6048 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: March 2012

Yes that’s what they are.  He’s also probably going to have to pay back child support so the longer he waits the longer in arrears he is and interest.  He needs to get an atty involved because she’s been playing games for years and it’s not suddenly going to stop.  That way everything is settled in writing. 

Post # 11
Member
6048 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: March 2012

Mediation is an option too.  It’s less costly but both parties have to have an interest in resovling this quickly, and maybe not fairly. 

Post # 13
Member
1136 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2015

nessdawwg:  I’m so sorry you had to go through that! I had a similar situation though I was very young so don’t remember most of it.

The one thing I do remember is that despite the crap my dad put my mum through, my mum and my family never said a bad word about it him in front of me and i’ll be forever greatful (and respect them deeply) for that. I guess the upside to your experience is that you know what a toll it can take and you can be of great support to your FI!

You’re right though, its good to prepare yourself for the worst but you can still hope for the best! I do understand it must be so frustrating for you guys that she’s messing you around but as I said, keep a note of all of that stuff! with times, dates etc. you can never be too prepared!

Hopefully she’s just feeling overwhelmed at the moment and will come around, I have my fingers crossed for you guys!

Post # 14
Member
7410 posts
Busy Beekeeper

nessdawwg:  What will happen is that the court will send you straight to Relationships Australia for mediation. Skip the inital expensive lawyers meeting and call them direct. http://www.relationships.org.au/

There is a cost but it is better than lawyers fees. Relationship’s Australia will keep records for the courts as well incase it ends up there (like if she doesn’t show up). Basically they will mediate between the two parties and work out a custody plan that suits both parties.

Leave a comment


Sent weekly. You may unsubscribe at any time.

Find Amazing Vendors