VENT FIs family making wedding planning a drama

posted 2 years ago in Family
Post # 2
Member
458 posts
Helper bee

That sounds awful :/ No bride should have to go through wedding planning with in-laws like this; especially the FSIL.  I can’t imagine!  I guess I’m lucky my fiance is an only child!! 

I just can’t get over the fact that she tried telling your fiance about your wedding dress; that’s SO ridiculous, I don’t know how anyone could think that’s okay!

Hopefully everything will cool down closer to and after your wedding. 

Post # 4
Member
1787 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

Steph77:  Tell her that if she decides not to stay there, would she be ok with paying for her share, because the suite is booked and you can’t afford to pay for it if she’s not going to use it? Alternatively, is there anyone else (friends, someone in your family) that would like to stay there instead? If so, ask your FSIL for a definite yes/no and offer it to someone else?

I think the problem is she seems like the kind of person who struggles to say ‘No’ when she’ s not happy with something, and then panics later on down the line and tries to back out… Some people really struggle to say they can’t afford something/can’t make it.. maybe they’re just not that well off financially and the wedding feels like too much of a strain on their budget.

I hope it all works out for you somehow!!

Post # 6
Member
1787 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

Steph77:  Oh dear :(.. I don’t really have much advice I’m afraid. I hope that after the wedding things calm down.. my husband’s family got pretty stressed around the time of the wedding and had a tendency to turn unimportant things into a big deal .. I just did my best to ignore it as much as possible and after the wedding they all calmed down.. For some reason they were just really nervous about not being able to ‘control’ the event, about not having it in their home town, about needing to socialize with loads of people on the big day, meeting the in-laws, etc… Maybe it’s just nerves or something..

Regarding the room, how about a compromise? – you tell them you can’t afford to pay for an ’empty’ room, so ask them to pay the equivalent of the price of the alternative accommodation that they found, and that you’ll pay the rest? Then they can’t argue with you… and after that I’d just do my best to ignore their behaviour and make sure that You enjoy Your wedding 🙂

Post # 7
Member
1787 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

Oh, somehow one part of my sentence disappeared there – I meant ”Ask them to stay there with you as planned, but instead of paying the full-price of the room, ask them to just pay the equivalent of the other accommodtion that they found and you’ll pay the difference?”

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