- 3 years ago
- Wedding: March 2015
OK Bees. I apologise in advance because this is gonig to be something of an epic vent, please bear with me.
Before my FI and I got engaged I always thought his family were lovely, we never had any real issues and I thought we all got on really well so I couldn’t be more suprised and disappointed that since we’ve started planning the wedding its been once thing after another. I’ve been in tears of sadness, anger and frustration so many times I’ve lost count, my FI is tearing his hair out and has said to me hes basically ‘had it with them all’.
His sister has been the worst and his mother hasn’t helped. They seem to have got it into thier head that I’m a bridezilla (I’m really not) and are constantly reinforicing each others opinion on the subject. To name but a couple of things; the venue was too far and we were being inconsiderate to our guests to pick it (its a 4 hour drive but its where we always said we’d get married and we love it). My dress was a little disappointing (I’m wearing a tea length dress), not only did FIs sister feel free to say it was a little disappointing (its beautiful) she also felt comfortable to start telling him details about it and took extreme umbridge when I told her to be quiet (OK hands up I may have shouted a little at that point), apparently its weird that we don’t want him to know details of my wedding dress.
Then came my bachelorette which , according to FIs sister, was hugely extravagant and selfish … lets pause at this one because it was special. My bachelorette was a weekend away with 2 nights accomodation in a gorgeous apartment, 3 course dinner and a show, it cost each person £200 all in. I sent out details with pricing well in advance, a couple of people couldn’t afford it and I understood, FIs sister said to my face it looked great but said to his FIs mother it was ridiculously expensive, FIs mother complained to him that I was being unfair, this was fed back to me. I asked FIs sister if cost was an issue and she said it should be fine. Fast forward to the point of booking, my MOH sent out details and said we needed a deposit to book, FIs sister suddenly had cold feet and said she’d have to her husband who was out of the country to confirm if it was ok to pay the amount she had already known about months in advance. Apparently she didn’t feel comfortable discussing it with him on facetime etc so it needed to wait till he was back in the country. This was Friday, he was back on Monday and she said she’d let me know by Tuesday, the clock was ticking on the apartment and I explained this to her but said ok, I understood. I finally got the go ahead from her 9pm Thursday. The day before the bachelorette she starts posting on a group FB message for everyone going that shes having issues and struggling to make it, I had to call her and ask what was going on and turns out it was an issue she would have known about well in advance. We sorted it out and she arrived at the bachelorette very much the hero in her own mind for juggling her plans to accommodate me. I wish I’d never invited her because during the course of the bachelorette I spoke ou of turn about my FIs brothers girlfriends tendency to wear white to weddings and said I hoped she wouldn’t do it at ours. FIs sister immeadiately told FIs mother who went and spoke to the girlfriend and the fall out of that is a whole other thread. I’ve apologised to her unreservedly but shes still not speaking to either my FI or I and FIs brother is also giving us the cold shoulder.
So heres the latest. We have booked a lovely apartment right on site at our wedding venue for family and wedding party. It has 9 bedrooms and its absolutely gorgeous and its a bargain, divde the cost per room and it works out cheaper than a middle of the road B&B. We actually moved our wedding date so that we could book this place, we showed everyone we’d pencilled in to stay there photos and priced back in January and they all said great. We have 5 children staying there so we have booked a childminder, at our own expense to sit there for the evening so all the parents can enjoy the reception. As of this evening FI was talking to his sister and she announced she had found an apartment locally that worked out cheaper and thought they (her, her husband and thier two children one of which is a flower girl (agreed to under pressure from her and FIs mother) might stay there instead). That means we would have to cover the cost of thier, now empty, room as the only other people we would have wanted in the apartment have laready booked alternative accommodation. Her excuse for this? Shes worried one of the children might spill something down my dress the morning of the wedding….
We are both so hurt and angry about this, if shes not deliberately being unkind and causing issues it sure feels like it. I’m not really looking for advice though its welcome, i just wanted to get that all off my chest …. thanks for reading