- 4 years ago
- Wedding: September 2013
My FI and I have decided to forego children at the wedding, as we have none in our family and we are looking to save money on our evening reception. We also don’t care for kids taking over the dance floor when we attend weddings, and want more of a party atmosphere than a family-friendly shindig.
I know I should have just left it at that, but we had a few people push back and complain and ask for exceptions, so we told them that the venue didn’t allow kids after a certain hour if we served alcohol (which is a fib, it just costs more to add an additional security guard to prevent underage drinking)
My FI’s parents are recently divorced, and behaved pretty badly at a recent family wedding. His dad is now dating a much-younger woman (who broke up the marriage) and she has young kids (4 of them, ranging from 5 to 12, all boys). Rather than respect our wishes or trust our justification, he looked up my venue in the phone book and called them and demanded that her children be allowed to attend (they have never met me, my FI, the MOG, or anyone else). The venue responded that this is at the discretion of the couple, not the venue (though we are liable for any damage they cause).
He now claims we are not “respecting his new family,” so he now says he and his girlfriend will not attend unless we allow her children. I have never met them, and neither has my FI. We offered to make a trip up to meet them, but said that we are not willing to have that take place at our wedding, and he said that his girlfriend will not be speaking to us until we apologize.
Keep in mind that invitations have not even gone out (he just assumed he could bring them, and has also invited a lot of his extended family without asking us first), and he is not helping to pay for the wedding (he offered to give us a few hundred dollars towards our rehearsal dinner, but that will not even cover the cost of the added guests, and he has now said he won’t give us that unless we back down).
I hate to put my FI in the position of not having his dad at the wedding, but I also can’t allow him to start a precedent of pushing us around and being a bully. I really hope he changes his mind in the next three months and realizes he is about to miss a major event for a really childish reason.