- 5 years ago
I’ve been living with my SO for nearly 4 years. We got together in college and I was amazed at how tidy and organised he was. His room was always just so neat, and it wasn’t like he just shoved all his stuff in the wardrobe when I came round-even his cupboards were tidy. So I’m thinking, great a nice, clean boy who will help out around the house 🙂 awesome!
Fast forward 6 years to now. He has become so lazy!! OK to my own admittance I am not the tidiest of people-never have been. My room was always a mess unless I had friends over or my grandparents were visiting or something, but I do like to have a nice home. When we moved in together, we assigned each other cleaning chores-he had the trash and the washing up and keeping the kitchen tidy and doing the vacuuming (we have a cool vacuum and he wanted to play) and I would do all the clothes washing, cooking, bathroom cleaning And everything else. Oh and he would help with the ironing.
This worked for a fair while (6 months to a year maybe), then he got an Xbox. Don’t even get me started on that one. But all of a sudden I’m moaning at him to do his chores. The dishes pile up so I end up doing them. Im doing the vacuuming (but he complains when I get it clogged up), and all we seem to argue about is the Xbox and the fact he’s not pulling his weight. we’ll have a mega blow out argument, he’ll start doing his stuff again for like a week but then he drops it. I tried things like not doing his clothes washing (he was moaning that things he wanted to wear weren’t cleaned and ironed for when we wanted to wear them- like I was supposed to just ‘know’) but it ended up with him looking like a scruff bag which I didn’t like. I tried offering different chores but he finds excuses not to do them.
last night I ended up going to bed late because there was so much washing up I just couldn’t stand it any longer and when finally got to bed he wanted to have ‘sexy time’. Totally not happening. It would be one thing if it was just housework but I can feel it spilling over into our intimate life and I don’t like it. But I just feel so unappreciated from it all I start resenting him-and also lying to my mum and friends about how much he does help with because I feel embarrassed to say I do basically everything. I’m quite a strong willed and independent person and I don’t like the fact I feel like his mother and his keeper, not his partner-his equal.
I want him to just DO SOME FRIGGING HOUSEWORK!!!!
OK, vent over-thanks for reading. Any advise is appreciated!!!!