(Closed) Vent: Godmother and Godfather just cancelled on our wedding 2 weeks before

posted 5 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
2693 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

Wow, that is odd.  Anyone close to them that could get to the bottom of why they aren’t ‘really’ coming?  That sucks but don’t let it ruin your mood or your day.  There will plenty of people there on your day to celebrate with you so focus on that.

Post # 4
Hostess
7561 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: January 2013

That is strange. Something weird is definitely going on. Why don’t you call him under the guise of asking how he’s feeling? You could tell him how much it means to you that they are there. 

Post # 5
Member
705 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 1993

Bummer.  I’d just let this one go though.

Post # 7
Member
7796 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

So wait, you phoned “multiple family friends” to confirm he was’t sick?

And just like that your mother has flipped her from “best friend” to “never talk to her again”?

Either he really is sick, or there’s some really good excuse she doesn’t want to tell (marital difficulties? Can’t afford it?). Either way, your mother’s reaction is childish, and you should just let it go.

Post # 9
Member
2622 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

Is it possible that something else is going on emotionally you couldnt know about? Is it possible that they are angry at your mother for something unknown or dont want to go because of well, anything, money, sadness, distance?

If it were me (and I had the balls) I would call and say “I am so sorry you wont be able to make it. Since godfather is not feeling well I would like to visit. Is next Sunday and OK time to visit?”

Let her respond and if she says its not a good time, “well, honestly I have heard that gof father is feeling fine, but I wanted a chance to speak with you about why you cant come to the wedding. Is it something I have done or that I can help with?”

Post # 10
Member
962 posts
Busy bee

@ThreeMeers:  I’m thinking about this. I said to my mom “is there something that we could have possibly done?” I think right now my mom is just really hurt and, honestly, I don’t blame her. I don’t know if she really never will talk to them again, but she was just really hurt not only by what was done but also how it was done. I really don’t know how involved I should get. It is my wedding and they are my godparents, but I feel like it is more of my mom’s thing since they have been such good friends. It’s just all very emotional right now. Maybe I will give it a few days and then follow your suggestion. Thanks for the advice. 

Post # 11
Member
962 posts
Busy bee

@ThreeMeers:  Also, my gut tells me that they are not coming because it is more of an inconvenience. They are very well off financially and I believe them to both be in good health. I really do hope that I am wrong though

Post # 12
Member
962 posts
Busy bee

@paula1248:  Nobody “phoned multiple family friends to confirm” he was sick. My mother frequently talks to these friends and she mentioned it to them. Your response is a real distortion of what happened. My mother didn’t call everyone we knew mutually to interrogate them. Also, my mother is an elderly woman and she is very hurt by the whole situation. It is the marriage of her only daughter, they would be the only family there, and they are really one of the only people who we “expected” to be there. (Lots of people said “no” and we didn’t flip out.) Also, please don’t call my 75 year old mother childish. Thanks

Post # 13
Member
2622 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

@jackndiane:  That may be the case, in which case being kind, considerate and understanding, yet straight forward will get them to give you more information.

Its not about guilting them into coming, but they may not realize how important their presence is to you and your mom.

Post # 14
Member
7796 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@jackndiane:  I just don’t understand how you mother can talk to multiple friends, and yet as far as I can tell her only communication with her cousin and best friend is apparently by voicemail. It sounds to me like your mother needs to talk to her cousin.

Post # 15
Member
1282 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

@ThreeMeers:  +1. Maybe it would help if you or your mother giving them a call back and asking if everything is ok, that you were really looking forward to them being at your wedding, since they would be the only family there. . . 

Is it possible that they just found out about an illness that they are not yet comfortable sharing with the family friends that your mom had talked to?

The topic ‘Vent: Godmother and Godfather just cancelled on our wedding 2 weeks before’ is closed to new replies.

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