Vent – he lost the ring after 16 days

posted 3 years ago in Married Life
Post # 3
Member
869 posts
Busy bee

@mrscali13:  awe i hear ya, that would feel shitty, but please don’t take it personally, he’s a guy and likely is not used to wearing accessories of any kind. He likey feels horrible over it and probably just took it off before taking a shower or something or before it might still turn up!

Post # 4
Member
3412 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

I get this is upsetting, but things do genuinely get lost. Cut him some slack, if it were your ring missing, you would not want him cross with you!

Post # 5
Member
567 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

do you have ring insurance?

Post # 6
Member
53 posts
Worker bee

🙁 Don’t let this put a damper on your newlyweddedness. He obviously didn’t do this on purpose or foresee this happening when you asked if he’d lose it. No one plans this sort of situation. Might I suggest cheapy tungsten bands for the time being, maybe for a few years until he learns how to wear a ring? Many ladies have plenty of experience wearing rings, and get used to it… whereas guys DON’T. Wearing a ring does take getting used to. He could very well have taken it off without even thinking because it was bothering him. I have woken up many times with my ring somewhere random because I took it off while sleeping. 

Post # 7
Member
7654 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2012

Aww I know it sucks, but I think he is genuinely sorry, and I know that if it were turned around, you lost your ring, you wouldn’t want to be given a hard time either, so try to cut him some slack. Perhaps it will turn up when you aren’t looking for it. Was his ring fitted correctly? Even when he’d wash his hands?

Post # 8
Member
3442 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

Aww 🙁 I’m sorry, hun!

So, this probably won’t help you to feel much better, but it might be better that he lost it now rather than 20 years from now, because think of all the sentiment that would be attached to it then.. And, now that he lost this one, he will probably be unbelievably gentle and mindful about the next ring.

Not that this will make you feel better right now, but if you share a picture of his previous ring, perhaps we can help you find a similar one for a cheaper price. My husband’s wedding band is white tungsten & looks like a very expensive platinum band (but he wanted tungsten, even though I was willing to spend for platinum) & it was only $90. It looks almost exact to some platinum rings we looked at that were about 1k. So, maybe we can help you find a great deal on the next one..?

Post # 9
Member
865 posts
Busy bee

Did you search the bathroom?  Sometimes when I wash my hands I take of my ring first w/o even realizing it.  Then I’ll spot it near the sink later…

Good luck, hope you guys find it!

Post # 10
Member
1389 posts
Bumble bee

My BIL has lost his ring at least 20 times in the past 12 years of marriage. It’s heavy platinum and expensive and more than once it has been known to fly off his finger. We’ve found it in the yard, in the car, in a shoe…etc. Don’t give up looking for it. Retrace all your steps. Check the lost and found anywhere you go regularly. Look outside your house, in hallways, in the kitchen, in the bathroom….you just never know when he might have taken it off…or where it may have rolled.

DH and I exchanged really cheap titanium bands for our DW and then I bought him his real band a few months later. He got to get used to wearing a ring without the pressure of knowing it was expensive and he couldn’t lose/wreck it. I suggest checking Amazon for a titanium one that looks similar and if you can’t find the original, just consider upgrading it later.

Post # 11
Member
690 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

Ugh, I can totally relate. My husband lost his 10 months in, on a kayaking trip with some friends in Florida. All week at the beach, we made sure to take our rings off and leave them on the dresser before we went outside. But the morning of the kayak trip, he got up before me, so I wasn’t awake to remind him to leave his ring at home. Instead, he wore it, he fell out of his kayak twice, and at some point in there he lost it. In the Gulf of Mexico. Definitely not getting that one back.

The original cost $900+, and I’m seriously kicking myself now, but we did not have insurance on either of our bands. Just my e-ring. It just pains me to the core to have to replace his ring. THE ring I placed on his finger on our wedding day! I refuse to buy another $900 ring because, for one, we just bought a house and have a baby on the way, so it’s just financially not the right thing to do right now, even if he were to hang onto this one forever. But also, I straight up just don’t trust him now. I mean, this was an extenuating circumstance, and I know he’s learned from it, but still. A $35 tungsten ring on Overstock that looks similar to his original is about all I’m willing to OK right now. Our original jeweler offered me a $475 ring for $190, and I wouldn’t even do that, I was just so pissed. 

So, I get it. 

Post # 12
Member
1470 posts
Bumble bee

My colleague lost his on his honeymoon, didn’t even have it a week. In his defense, it flew off because as he says “I have like no knuckles, my fingers are shaped like cones”

Luckily it was insured. I would be pissed too but it really was an accident, don’t beat him up too badly, it could happen to anyone. Go with a cheaper one for a few years and maybe get him the more expensive one again for your #? year anniversary if he can hold onto it?

Post # 13
Member
10495 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: January 2011

@mrscali13:  Even if you didn’t specifically insure it, your home or renters insurance likely includes a set amount for jewellery.

Post # 14
Member
2114 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

ahhh..my worse nightmare…either that or that he destroys it at work…I had to really rip into him when I found out he was usuing it to open BEERS! He did stop doing that, but yeah, to me it’s not even about the cost, like you said the thing that you gave him on your wedding day, a little peice of your wedding day that’s actually tangible…so yes, it’s quite a loss, but it could happen to anyone, it oculd happen to you too, I would try not tob e so hard on him, this too shall pass.

Post # 15
Member
2114 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

ahhh..my worse nightmare…either that or that he destroys it at work…I had to really rip into him when I found out he was usuing it to open BEERS! He did stop doing that, but yeah, to me it’s not even about the cost, like you said the thing that you gave him on your wedding day, a little peice of your wedding day that’s actually tangible…so yes, it’s quite a loss, but it could happen to anyone, it oculd happen to you too, I would try not tob e so hard on him, this too shall pass.

Post # 16
Member
13021 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

@mrscali13:  Was it sized right?  Can you guys just save up for a little bit to buy it again?  Whatever you do, do NOT claim insurance for it, even if it is covered under the general jewlery allowance.  You rates will rise an insane amount, and from what my friend said his insurance company said, it’s not like car incidents where “points” will drop after some time and rates will fall again.  You will never get the low ‘no claim’ rate again for life.  I had to make a claim, and my rates rose 700 dollars a year.  Hardly worth claiming a few k.

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