(Closed) VENT – I feel like a terrible person!!!

posted 7 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
3148 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

Oh dear! I dont know what to say, I had guests back out as well and with good reason but it sucks all the same and she totally has a right to be pissed. She will get over it though and things will go on. I think i paid for five people that didnt come!!! and i forgot about it the day before and havent thought about it since ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 4
Member
8354 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2011

Sorry you are having to go through this, but I think that you and your husband should still try to go or offer to take care of your husband’s grandma, so his parents can go. That is 4 spots they have paid for that won’t be filled and she really wants you there or she wouldn’t have invited you in the first place.

Post # 5
Member
10851 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2010

So you’re not going because you won’t know anyone else? You said though that it would be an opportunity to get to know this side of the family that you don’t know very well. I mean, I get that you want to be comfortable, but if I were the bride I’d be pretty upset too. I’ve been to plenty of weddings where the only people I knew were the bride and groom. It’s up to you to make a fun evening of it, and to get to know this side of the family.

Post # 6
Member
1184 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

i agree, i think either you and your husband should go, or you should stay with his grandmother and have his parents go. staying with his grandmother is a good excuse for ONE couple, but not all 4 of you. if the wedding is this coming weekend then of course she has already given her numbers to the caterers. i’d be pretty miffed too if i was her (although the facebook status is a bit immature).

Post # 8
Member
3148 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

If you are offering to pay back the spot…why dont you just go?

Post # 9
Member
120 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I agree with the comments before mine. She obviously thought well enough of you to invite you. Plus it could have been her way of extending an olive branch to you and your husband so that you all can get to know each other. You should see if MIL and FIL would go while you and your husband take care of Grandma.

I would send them a gift also, even though you are not going. It’s the polite thing to do i think.

Post # 10
Member
1184 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

it sounds like you two have made up your mind (but i’m still not sure why you and your husband wouldn’t have fun in gatlinberg on your own – you need your ILs there to have fun?), but if so i would be sending the couple a realllllly nice wedding present.

Post # 11
Member
4137 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

if you’re offering to pay for your spots, why can’t you pay for the travel costs? it sounds like she invited you just because you’re family, so that isn’t really the issue. if you’re going to spend money regardless though, you should go. if you don’t, send a VERY nice wedding present and a note with your apologies for causing her this headache.

Post # 13
Member
2289 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2010

Yyyeah I get where she’s coming from too. I’m having a small wedding and if someone did that to me…forget the money, that’s four of my friends that I could have invited. I say someone has to go, either you or your parents. And send a nice gift no matter what.

Post # 14
Member
2390 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: December 2009

That’s a stinky situation and I’m so sorry to hear about your grandmother’s failing health.  That is really sad and must be so hard on your family.

Honestly, I think that your IL’s had a perfectly valid reason to not attend the wedding, but not you and your DH.  Only one couple needs to stay behind to take care of your grandma, and it sounds like your ILs are the ones to do that.  So, basically, it boils down to you and your DH not going because you won’t know anyone…Like one of the other bees, that is 4 people that are no shows.  If I were the cousin, I would probably be a little irritated too and be thinking, “It really takes 4 people to sit in a hospital to take care of their grandmother?”  While I feel for you, when I put myself in your cousins shoes, I can see her irritations.

Post # 15
Member
2398 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

@Kemi82JP:  I get that the logistics aren’t great – but they weren’t great before when you said you’d go, either.  And your husband’s grandmother’s health doesn’t really have anything to do with you or DH traveling.  The two of you aren’t actually needed at home and nothing is preventing you from making the trip save the fact that you don’t want to do it.

It’s a lost weekend and will be unpleasant, but I think you need to suck it up and go. 

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