Post # 1
If we aren’t engaged by October 1 we are not getting married in the summer of 2010. We are building a house this fall, and I won’t have time to deal with it.
Its a rough weekend. It was supposed to be our first weekend alone since mid-May, and it totally had proposal written all over it, then his Mom decided to visit.
She’s been here all weekend, and doesn’t want to talk about anything but wedding planning, gift registrations and dresses. Its so frustrating to want to talk about this but not be engaged!
Also: apparently Boyfriend is JUST NOW wrapping his head around how expensive a wedding is; after I asked If he wanted to elope whe we were in Vegas in May. Please, please, help me bite my tounge when I want to scream ‘I TOLD YOU SO’ when we finally get engaged and try to book a place… Our top 3 choices are already booked for dates that work for us next summer. I called last week.
Sorry, that turned into a vent!
Post # 3
Awe I am sorry! I know how frustrating it can be!
Mr. M and I only had a few dates that worked but he still wanted to do the proposal his way and so we started planning the wedding without the ring!
Would that be an option for you guys?
Post # 4
I broached the subject of planning without a ring this spring (for a 2010 wedding) and he had no enthusiasm for it. Despite my repeatedly telling him that more time is better, I don’t think he ‘gets’ how far in advance things book up. Again, help me not shout I TOLD YOU SO when we finally get there!
Post # 5
Oh I sooo understand your frustration!!!!!
Before we were planning I was getting antsy because the proposal was still a bit in the future and I knew dates were getting booked up (even by our friends which made me turn into a green monster) He didn’t believe me that you HAVE to plan a wedding so far in advance but he kept saying he really wanted to get married in Aug 2010 so when he talked to a co-worker and found out that most places were already booked for Aug next year he initiated the planning and it has helped my wedding frustration!
Now I just have ring frustration haha – but the wedding is what really matters!
It does take a while for them to “click” and understand how hard, long and expensive wedding planning is!!! I hope you get through to him soon and get your 2010 wedding!
Post # 6
I feel your pain. We’re not yet formally engaged and getting married next summer. Hive hugs your way…
Vent here. Vent alot if need be. We’re here for you.
Post # 7
You shouldn’t stress- I really don’t think you need that much time to plan a wedding! Seriously, the only thing that you need to book a long time out is the venue. It’s kind of the Wedding Industrial Complex that makes you think you need months and months to think of more things to pay for. It’s a party- a BIG party, but still a party.
We got engaged in February and are planning an early fall wedding in Oregon. You’ll have WAY more options if you just push back the wedding to september – I called my top three venue options in march, and while all were booked in july/august, they had plenty of september/october dates available. And it’s way cheaper, plus your guests willl be thrilled that you aren’t in the huge rush of summer weddings (we had 3 weddings in the last month.) Plus, Montana can be beautiful in the fall 🙂
Have you thought about proposing to him? It could be romantic! It sounds like you are frustrated because this is all out of your control- remember, you are in charge of your own happiness!
Post # 8
Aw, CHK! Hopefully all of this will inspire him to do the proposal soon! I think pushing the wedding off a few months wouldn’t be terrible. If you’re building a house, that’s a lot to think about!! Best luck to you. *hugs*
Post # 9
((HUGS)) Everything will work out and soon the despair will melt away when you see a beautiful sparkly thing on your left ring finger… Well at least that’s what I’ve been told!!
Post # 10
dont stress let it all happen naturally
Post # 11
@ oregonbride: Thanks for your response, it does help to back off and look at it as a big party. While I don’t want to steal his thunder and propose to him (he’s already bought the ring, etc.), your last line “remember, you are in charge of your own happiness!” is the advice I give other people all the time! I guess I needed to hear it from someone else to remind me that I’m in charge of my own happiness!
Thanks everyone for your responses. For a type A personality like me, its tough to not be in charge of this portion.
Post # 12
I know everyone has their own definition of “being engaged”, but if you guys have sat down and had a serious conversation and decided that you are getting married, and you’re talking wedding planning with the FMIL, aren’t you engaged already?
Post # 13
Feel free to vent anytime, CHK! It’s hard not to get upset about it, because it does really feel like guys don’t get it. I was really bummed out when July came and went without a proposal, I had my heart set on getting married at a specific venue next July. He knew it, but it didn’t make him propose sooner. As frustrating as that is, I have to remember that our wedding will be what it’s supposed to be. Hard as it may be, I have to try and get rid of any expectations and just enjoy the day when it comes. Hopefully that helps some.
Post # 14
I’m sorry that must be so frustrating for you! I had a hard time even thinking about planning before we were engaged, because I just wanted it to be official first!
we were engaged mid october and married mid june and besides booking the two biggest vendors (reception location and photographer) we had plenty of time to get everything planned.
Hang in there!
Post # 15
I totally know what you mean by about being frustrated by not being in charge. I’m a little type A myself, so it killed me to have no control over such a huge life event!
My fiancé had told me it was important to him to be the one who proposed, so all I could do was WAIT (patience is not one of my strengths)! I finally did explain this to him and he told me all about how stressed he was about picking the ring and planning the proposal (in a snowed-in forest service cabin on New Year’s Eve!). Once we were past that it was funny to think how stressed we’d both been!
Good luck and hang in there!
Post # 16
*hugs hugs hugs* Most guys don’t realize EXACTLY how expensive weddings can be … and no worries about venting, that’s what we’re here for!