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I dont like people stopping by unannounced either, but if that was my brother I would just tell him, I'm tired and I'm going to bed.
I know =( It's not really a drop in story (kinda, sorta!) We were out one night (a weeknight) and FI gets a call from his mom's friend saying they were going to stop by the house so his mom could show them around. (FMIL has a key, ugh) FMIL didn't even call and ask, he just gets this weird call from her friend! It drove me nuts because I don't like people being in our house when we're not there!
My brother does this sometimes.
Usually I just tell him im going to bed and he can crash on the couch if he wants lol.
If someone is comfortable enough with me to drop in like that, I think we were close enuff that I could kick them out and tell them I'm going to bed, or jsut go to bed and let them chill.
I actually don't mind when friends/family just stop by to say hi if they are in the area. But 10pm on a weekday is not cool. I'm with the other girls... why did your FI not just tell his brother that you guys were going to sleep and he needed to hit the road?
I agree, drop ins are pretty rude. I like my house spotless when people are over yes yes its always tidy. But when people come over I make sure the little things are taken care of (trash taken out) like in the bathroom the trash can. Bed made, dishes done. You ladies catch the drift.
It isn't ok to just drop by. I never answer the door for anyone that knocks unless they call first. And calling to tell you that they are outside, still not good enough. I'm with you, at 10 on a weeknight, I'm getting ready for bed. And yeah, I would've just told my brother that I was going to bed. If I were you, (if there is a next time) at 10:30, I would get up and say I was going to bed. That might give him the hint. If not, well, at least you are in bed.
We had a BIG problem with this when we got married. My DH is in medical school and we live in the same apartments as many of his classmates. They would just come by and knock on the door--no text message, no phonecall, no invite. Then they would come in and talk about school for wayyy too long. It drove me CRAZY. We considered moving but decided to stick it out. For awhile we would just drop to the ground when someone knocked :)
This will make you feel like lots of other people totally understand: http://hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com/2010/09/four-levels-of-social-entrapment.html
You must be too nice to kick someone out of your house. I am glad that I am not that nice. lol If anyone shows up at my house and 10+ pm there better be an emergency. Good luck in establishing some boundries. I hope you get some extra sleep tonight.
The drop in was cool when we were like, 18. Not at age 30.
SO and I have always worked opposite shifts and have kids, so we're always fighting for time together. So, it's a rare occassion when someone even gets us to commit to social visits when we are both not working and the kids are away or sleeping. A drop-in might get someone a death stare and/or polite shoo-ing out the door. Hehe
I HATE THIS!!!!!!
We have a huge issue with DH's Dad. Not only does he stop by unannounced he also doesn't knock. He walked in on us once while I was doing something with my mouth to DH on the couch. Talk about embarassing!!! That's when we started locking the doors even when we're home. A week later I'm home alone getting out of the shower and there's a knock at the door. I say hold on and then he started pounding like he was having a heart attack. I answered in a towel and then he wanted to stand there and have a conversation with me. AWKWARD!!!
My inlaws do this ALL THE TIME. I hate it! Apparently they feel its their right since they live 1 1/2 miles down the road and own some property (empty land that is) around us. They've gotten better but it still happens. When we first moved in our home, it was a couple times a week this was happening. My MIL is the worst. I was throwing a party last year for DH and she found out and said she was going to crash it so she could monitor my SIL (who is the same age as my by the way 31) on her drinking and such. That didn't go over too well nor the conversation and plans to build a house right behind us. I told DH if they did, no ill feelings but I would want to move in 3 years bc thats too much for me. I guess they got wind of it and changed their minds.
Ugh! These stories are HORRIBLE! I agree that if it was a sibling, I would just kick them out. But, at the same time, I like my siblings, and they are always welcome to come in and crash anytime if they were to need it, and they know that. None of them ever take advantage of it, it's always been a serious issue (i.e. fights with the live-in SO, someone died and they are sad, etc.)
This is seriously ANNOYING. And to show you guys a rental? Really?
Anyone who knows me knows that I hate this, but when I met & moved in with FI at the beginning of our relationship I had to retrain all his friends> FI's house was like the 'community' house where everyone just walked in whenever they liked without knocking. It took a few months of bitching at them(after like 2 of them walked in on me naked) & taking away thier keys to correct that way of thinking. Hell, we were 22. But now I'm the first to know if ANYONE is coming. Some people just don't have boundaries...
I had a HUGE issue with my FIL's when FI and I went to college 45 min away from them. They would drive to our town to go shopping, then drop in on FI's place. If they couldnt find him, which was the typical scenario (he was an honors chem student who spent 10+ hours a day on campus), they would drive on over to my place and expect me to entertain them till FI got out of class/research. They would not even call, just show up at my back door and bang until I opened it. It was so aweful. The best decision we ever made was moving day trip distance or more away from them. We were a 15 hour drive away, but we moved closer for FI's grad school, but made sure to be at least 2-3 hours away.
Yeah, I would have been like "Dude, I'm going to sleep, I'm not coming to the door." Simple as that
I HATE the drop in. I'm good for not answering the door if someone doesn't call first. I know it's rude but I just can't take it. How do you know I fee like being bothered? Or the house is clean?
My pet peeve!!! I hate this!! It is SO rude.. and what really makes me mad, they never seem to blink an eye to the thought that your falling asleep or have to get up early in the morning to WORK!
I do not do this, my friends tell me I'm the odd one because I just don't pop over to their houses without calling first and that I won't call past 9pm.. That's how my mom raised me! You better never come over to my house past 9pm on a work night, I will tell them off lol
haha. i get mad when the UPS man drops by lol. doesnt he know i wanted to take a nap? i was in the middle of being lazy and unattractive before you rudely rang my doorbell without notice. helloooo.
i also hate when we have dinners and people just randomly say "oh so and so is coming with me" well that's nice but i only have 8 wineglasses, so you have to share. thanks for ruining my perfectly planned evening by making it an odd number. it was supposed to be symmetrical and everything.
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Seriously, when did it become okay to just show up at someone’s house without any notice? Not cool, not cool at all…
FI and I are 25 going on 60. If its 10pm on a weeknight we’re either already in bed or heading that way. Last night, at 10:04, FI’s phone rings. He’s asleep on the couch so I wake him up to tell him his brothers calling (epic fail on my part!). FI answers and is told that he (meaning his brother) is outside. His brother is driving a rental while his car is being fixed and apparently he felt that 10pm on a weeknight was the best time to stop by so we could check it out (let’s be honest, neither of us give a shit about his rental car).
So, FI goes outside for a few minutes and returns with FBIL in tow. FI’s exhausted and I’m falling asleep but his brother is as perky as can be. He stayed at our house for 2 ½ hours! At 12:30 he finally left and we were able to go bed. Now, this may not seem too terrible to anyone else but my first alarm goes off at 5:40 and if I don’t get atleast 7 hours of sleep I am one major bitch in the morning.
I just don’t understand how anyone thinks this is okay. If you’re going to drop by, atleast call first and give a heads up. I would never dream of just stopping by someone’s house without any kind of notice. You never know what those people are doing!