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So, with 9 weeks until this baby has to come out, there is no baby shower planned and I want one. Like, I really want one. I delivered Moose, our angel baby, a week before my shower was supposed to be, so I've never had one. I don't have any friends who would even think of planning one for me (they don't let me talk about being pregnant or want to see the crib) except my best friend who is a guy. He's been super busy doing two jobs because he had someone quit on him.
Anyway, I just want to have a shower with a CakeWrecks inspired baby shower cake. Is that so hard? People don't need to bring me presents, I just want a chance to celebrate this baby because I never got to do that with Moose. If I do lose Wombat, I just want a time to think back to where people were excited.
A lot of people I've talked to think I should just have a "Come Meet Wombat" party after Wombat is born. Well, I'm sorry, but this isn't good enough. My husband and I have to think about losing Wombat. Why can't our friends and family not think about the "what if..." part and just throw me a stupid party? I deserve an awesome baby shower cake inspired by CakeWrecks.
That is seriously sucky!!! Why don't your friends let you talk about being pregnant???? Do you have any sisters/aunts/or in-laws who would want to throw you a shower?
@TheFutureMcBride: Do people know that you want one? Maybe they think that you wouldn't want one because of what happened with Moose...they might be trying to walk on eggshells around the whole thing, you know? Or they might be feeling scared/nervous themselves. Do you feel comfortable talking to one of your friends about the fact that you do want a baby shower?
What about your family throwing you a shower instead of friends? I'm sorry they aren't throwing you one!
PS I love me some cakewrecks!
Obviously I don't know your family or friends, but if I had a friend/family member in your position I would be iffy about throwing a shower. I would be soo afraid of pouring salt on a wound and doing something to hurt or offend you. Having said that, I would not plan a surprise but would ASK YOU (or your husband) how you feel about it.
that is junk. I want to throw you a shower! And I think your family and friends ar ebeing selfish by not allowing you the opportunity to talk about Wombat and celebrate him or her. EVERYONE deserves to be excited about the arrival of a baby
@TheFutureMcBride: Here's a Cake Wreck to brighten your day (or just scare the bejeezus out of you):
@Bostonsmom: I don't know why my friends are like that. They're weird. As for my sister and brother, they're across the country, my mom sucks, and my in-laws are out out state.
@hilsy85: I've told my husband and male friend several times over the past couple months that I wanted one just to make sure that they'd have time to put one together or tell people I wanted one. My female friends are mostly PhD students trying to finish their papers, so they don't have time or money for a shower. A lot don't live around here and my best female friend is a mother of two with no extra time.
@PinkMagnolia: My family would never think of throwing me a shower. Plus, I'm purposly not close to many of them.
Oops! WB cut off my post. I said at the end that in all seriousness, I hope your friends get with the program and throw you the awesome baby shower that you deserve!
@Georgia Bee: That's why I told people I wanted a shower and made sure my husband knew and was cool with it. I wouldn't want one if he didn't want one.
@KellyV: I know you would!
@Ms. Sorbet: That is scary and funny. However, it would make cutting the cake a little easier since it's not that lifelike.
Are your friends parents? I know that as a childless couple with only a few of our friends having kids, I don't understand the ins and outs of celebrating children. It wouldn't occur to me to throw my friends a baby shower because I'd assume they had someone else doing it. Or maybe your friends that ARE parents and would know what to do don't understand how to identify with you after Moose and they're scared to make the wrong move?
Of course you deserve the party, just might have to approach making it happen differently because of your circumstances :(.
You're 30 weeks pregnant, you NEED pampering. Your friends and family need to get on the ball. They're probably a bit unsure of what to do so don't be subtle.
@TheFutureMcBride: Ah ok, so you've made it clear that you do want one...in that case, boo, they suck! Maybe they're planning something and don't want to tell you yet? I would definitely be getting on my husband's case about it, lol--if nothing else, he should definitely be able to either rally the women together to plan something, or plan something himself.
lets all skype and have a virtual baby shower! =)
@TheFutureMcBride: I thought maybe your friends were just being sensitive and didn't know you'd be okay with it but then I saw your update.
Boo I'd totally throw you a shower. Carrot Jockeys and Belly Cake for all.
@MrsWrangler: Only one friend in nearby has children; everyone else is, for the most part, married without kids, so they don't get it and I understand that. It's just upsetting because so many of our friends were so excited for us when we got pregnant, but now, no one is interested and now is when I need their support.
@troubled: I figured coming out and repeatedly saying "I want a baby shower," was pretty obvious, but maybe I need a cartoon hammer.
@camrie: I love how they didn't even spell Mazel Tov correctly! And does that cake have stretch marks on it, or is it just my computer screen?
I'm sorry you feel that way but I agree with pps. It might be that your family and friends are walking on eggshells around you guys. I know they would bring gifts once the baby gets here but even though it's hardest on you and your husband, it's also hard on family and friends who don't really know how to negotiate this new terrain. If you want a party, mention it to your family. I'm sure someone would throw one for you. I can't believe it's only 9 weeks to go. Time sure does fly!
@Ms. Sorbet: It has "the line," which goes from under the belly button all the way down. I don't know why pregnant women get it, but we do. The darker the line supposedly means a boy and lighter means girl.
@camrie: I love carrot jockies!
@TheFutureMcBride: Hmmm, that does seem fairly obvious. Would it be wrong to just start planning the party and then hand it off to someone?
I second the virtual shower! That would be sooooooooo fun!
Also, I just PM'ed you this, but I never got a shower either. :( It's super sucky and I'm still sad about it.
Oh and here's a cake winner
http://cakewrecks.blogspot.com/2009/02/come-to-dark-side-we-have-cake.html
@troubled: Honestly, I'm thinking about just throwing one for myself and calling it a day, bad etiquette or not.
@Mrs. Spring: Well then, second baby = shower!
@troubled: That is the best baby shower cake ever. If I do throw my own shower, I'm totally doing that, but less girlie since we don't know what Wombat is yet.
I don't think anyone would call you out on bad etiquette for throwing your own shower... You could throw it in your last few weeks while you're sister is there. That way everyone will think your sister is throwing the shower instead of you. Or put my name on it. :) I can throw a shower from California!
I doubt I'll get a second baby shower either, sigh. Maybe you can throw one for me from VA!
@Mrs. Spring: I'll throw you one from VA and you can just have me on Skype. And yes, I may pretend like my sister is throwing it once she buys a ticket out here and I know when she'll be around.
Who planned your original shower and why are they not this time around?
Can you throw yourself a shower?!??! Just make it a get together no present shower!
P.S. I would be very sad as well if no one was throwing me a shower. :( I already told my husband that IF my MIL wants to throw me one I want it here where we live instead of NYC where my family is. :D
@regberadaisy: It was planned by my husband (then bf) and best make friend. This time, the ball has just been dropped even though I've mentioned it casually several times.
It doesn't really sound like there's anything more you can do here. Yes, it would be super obvious and bad etiquette to ask someone to throw you a shower or to throw it yourself. I know you said in your first post that you don't just want o have people over to meet him and celebrate after he is born, but may I ask why not? It seems like a good solution to me! Especially if everyone is out of state, it would probably be a stretch for them to come out for the shower and then again when the baby is born, so that's why the after he is born party sounds like a good idea to me.
Aww I'm sorry they aren't around! Just go ahead and throw something! Say you want to have one last get together before baby comes and you bring the cake!
PS - Why have I never heard of cake wrecks! TOO funny,
I say to hell with the people around you who aren't getting your message (if they're doing it out of concern for you because of Moose then they're obviously not listening to what you've said you WANT) and throw yourself a shower. I don't think it's bad etiquette given the circumstances, and if it is, who cares?
I also totally second having a virtual shower for you and we'll all Skype in. I'd say you're one of the most loved Bees here and it would probably be the best-attended virtual shower in history!
I hope your shower happens, however it happens. You should get to celebrate Wombat now the way you want to!
@Wonderstruck: The shower would only include people who are in town as no one from out of town has bought plane tickets (except my sister is researching for hers as I type). I'd never want them to come twice, once for the shower and once to meet Wombat, that'd be rude. I just want a chance to celebrate me being pregnant and have a chance to try to forget about the stress of this pregnancy.
@SecretName: CakeWrecks = highlight of my day
I'll totally attend your virtual shower!
Seriously, though, I can't believe no one is throwing you one. That makes me upset for you. Hopefully someone comes around and gives you an awesome shower before the Wombat makes his/her appearance!
I hope someone throws you a shower. I've been following your story and I've been hoping for the best for you and your lil Wombat!
Also, you just made my day a hell of a lot more enjoyable now that I know about cakewrecks.
You MUST have a shower. You should totally have one. :) Find your most supportivwe friend/family memeber and have them plan it!
I think because of how it worked out last time, they are hesitant to throw one you one this time around, not knowing how you'll react. For all they know, you'd hate it and feel jinxed or uncomfortable or upset that you never got to have one for Moose. It's impossible to guess how someone in your position would feel about it and I think they are all really scared of bringing up any bad memories for you or upsetting you in your condition. I doubt they are just not throwing you one because they don't care. I think if you really, really want one, you'll have to throw one yourself and ask your friends to join you to celebrate the baby's upcoming arrival so they know it's okay.
You know, I think the reason it's considered bad form to throw yourself a shower is because it's basically like, I am inviting you to give me gifts. If you're willing to forgo the gifts I see nothing wrong with throwing yourself a party as long as you don't call it a shower.
We are doing something similar. Two of my friends wanted to throw me a traditional shower, but all my family lives out of state, my closest friend moved to another country, my in laws are complete flakes and I can't trust them to show up even if they RSVP yes, and it just seemed like too much work to put on two people who work full time and go to school. Plus, I didn't want to deal with a hormonal crying jag if like, only 5 people showed up. But I did still want a shower, so my husband suggested throwing a BBQ in the middle of this summer, and inviting family and friends. We're not calling it a shower, we're not announcing where we registered (if we even do register) but I still get my celebration.
Otherwise, what about work? Are you pretty close with coworkers? You might get a small shower there. I mean, it won't be to the scale of a home shower, but you might still get cake and a few gifts, and it will still be fun.
I hope someone steps to the plate. You deserve it!
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