(Closed) VENT! (If one more person acts shocked about my age… or calls me cute…)

posted 8 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
1729 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

Oh dear… I know how it feels to not be taken seriously or assumed to be much younger based on your appearance. I am extremely petite and also have a younger looking face, and it has only been within the last year or two that I have noticed that most people do regard me as an adult these days (I turned 25 last spring). I even had someone tell me recently that he had thought me to be in my LATE 20’s… it made my day!!

I applaud you for having the guts to tell the bridal salon lady that you didn’t prefer the word “cute,” good for you!! Keep doing things like that. The more confidence you have, the more people will understand and correctly assume that you are a mature adult, and deserve to be treated as such. And if people say stupid things like they did at the dentist, don’t be afraid to keep correcting them.

It’s not that unusual to get married at 21. Don’t let anyone make you feel like you’re so far from the norm to be making that choice. Ask people our age if their parents know anyone who got married back when they were 18-20. They likely do.

Anyway, even though you can’t help but be self-conscious about your young-looking appearance, try not to be. The less you worry about it, the more confidence people will see in you! 🙂

Post # 4
Member
53 posts
Worker bee

i get that too, not as much as you

 

I’m almost 24 and still get asked how the school holidays are going sometimes! Awkward silence when I say I have finished 5 years of uni lol

 

Lots of ‘adults’ still treat me as a kid. It’s like my opinion means less because I’m younger than them (they’re like 40plus) most of these people know me and have done for a while, move with the times people I’m not 14 now

 

Post # 5
Member
654 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

Its not just you… I’ll be 25 next month and people come to the door and ask to speak to my parents, etc. Two days before our wedding FI and I were at Sam’s Club buying out the store basically for the weekend festivities and when she got to our alcohol she asked for ID so I pulled mine out and first she told me “well I need the ID of the person paying” I laughed and handed mine to her anyways then she started flippin out in front of other customers that there was no way I was 25 and no way my ID was real.. Took us 20 minutes to get things straightened out. Moral of the story tho- People are foolish and you can’t let them get inside your head. Just keep speaking up for yourself.

Post # 6
Member
139 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

Yeahh I get it too. I’m 5’0 and 21. The one day H and I were at the mall and went into Spensers. Mind you, H is 2 months younger than me and at the time I was 20 and he was 19, but we both look very young. The sales person asked if we “knew the rules there” we told him no, and he explained we had to be 18 to buy anything. So I asked him how old he thought we were, he thought I was 15 and H was 17. Urgh. Just gotta roll with the punches.

Post # 7
Member
219 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

I hear ya! I dont think my face looks that young, but I am 5 foot nothing and turning 23 next month. I dont get too many comments thankfully, but I know how annying they are. It makes me laugh when I meet new people and then tell them my age because they think I am older due to my personality!

The worst is when people are like ‘ohhhh your so short!’ or ‘wow’ your really short’ (insert arm leaning on head) and im like THANKS for telling me, because for the 23 years ive been alive, I ACTUALLY HADNT NOTICED!! Dumb asses. lol. Its the worst when tweens/teenagers do it, as they are getting around to my height/taller.

Just remember that these people dont know you, and dont really have teh rightto affect your life or how you feel that day in any way!

you are just fine the way you are, and you have a loving fiance to prove it!

Post # 8
Member
7976 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

I don’t look young and I had a lot of sales people tell me dresses were cute.

I think some people just don’t have a very diverse vocabulary. 🙂

Post # 9
Member
5148 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

I feel your pain! When I was graduating college, I mentioned “graduating next week” to a customer at the store I was working in, and they asked me which high school I went to.

But now that I’m 27, I don’t mind it as much. I see the big 3-0 creeping up and I want to look younger now!

The only thing I don’t like is that some people think someone that looks young is niave and/or unexperienced.

Post # 10
Member
2538 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

My sister was actually pulled over by a police officer because he thought she wasn’t old enough to drive. She was almost 18 and he thought she was 12 or 13. Now at 25 and being a teacher, it’s still a problem for her with parents even though she has her Masters. It’s a problem for me sometimes and I’m nearly 31. Now, I laugh when someone thinks I’m 23.

Post # 11
Member
2390 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: December 2009

I’m sorry, I’m giggling so hard right now because I was right where you are when I was 21.  I HATED being called young/cute when I was that age.  Like you, I was always being mistaken for being 16 or 17, or worse….thinking I was the youngest sister when infact I’m the oldest. lol

Now, let me just say this will TOTALLY pay off for you!  When I got married I was 4 days shy of my 28th birthday.  Several days before the wedding, I went to Ulta to get some wedding makeup and got into a conversation with an attendent and ofcourse it turned towards the wedding.  She was appalled that I was getting married so young, wasting my youth, blah blah blah.  I just set there and let her spit out her word vomit and finally she stopped and actually asked me how old I was.  She was SHOCKED to find out I was 28.  She thought I was 20.  I spent the rest of the day grinning like an idiot and being so happy that I could pass for 20.

Just stick it out for a few more years.  You will be so happy that you naturally look young!

Post # 12
Member
69 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

Ohh I feel your troubles! I never liked hanging out with people my age and was always friends with people an average age of 5 years older than me. Marrying a man 4 years older than me is no surprise! Older men are more mature. (Sometimes! Heehee).

People in Switzerland where I live think it’s insane to get married at 23 instead of mid thirties, but I’m doing it! I feel like I’m always apologizing for how young I am when they are shocked. People just can’t get over one’s maturity sometimes!

I hope the dress you picked out was pretty and not cute and that you get the right response on your wedding day. I’m sure you’ll be beautiful! 🙂

Post # 13
Member
553 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

I get that a lot too. I am a teacher in  a high school and I get stopped in the hallway for passes or sent back to class. Nope, sorry. I work here.

In five years, you will love that people think you look young! Everyone on your wedding day will know your age and know your wedding dress isn’t “cute” like dress up but know that you look drop dead gorgeous.

Take a deep breath and enjoy your engagement!

Post # 14
Member
553 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

OH and the woman at the bridal salon thought MY MOTHER was there to try on dresses rather than me. Then they replied “Oh sorry, you don’t look old enough to be engaged!” I was like wow the subtelties of that apology are just great.

Post # 15
Member
2821 posts
Sugar bee

It does get a little better but I’m 29 and have a PhD and people immediately address me as an undergrad.  The scientist uniform is basically jeans and a tshirt but I’ve tried to dress a bit more put together because I’ve noticed it at least makes people hesitate before addressing me like an undergrad.  But when they say ‘oh this must be hard on you working in a lab all summer, when do your classes start back up’  I just laugh and say ‘all done with classes and yes, missing summers has been hard for the past 8 years’. 

Post # 16
Member
2867 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

Don’t worry about what random stranger say – EVERYONE has to deal with people making ridiculous comments.

“My you’re young!” to young brides
“Is this your FIRST marriage?” to older brides
“Are you going to lose weight?” to heavier brides
“You’re skin and bones! Eat something!” To thin brides

My point is regardless of your situation, there are rude people and people who speak without thinking everywhere, don’t let their ignorance get to you.

Just smile gracefully, correct them if necessary and mentally roll your eyes at them when they walk away.

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