- 8 years ago
- Wedding: April 2011
So… I really, really need to vent right now!
This I am sure will sound silly once I type it, or be dramatically too long, but here goes nothing:
I am so sick of either 1) people thinking I am not much older than 16 or 17… 2) Getting called cute- even while trying on wedding dresses!!! 3) People not thinking the ring, clearly on my left hand, means I am engaged, therefore ensuing an awkward comment
As for number one- I have struggled with this one for a long time… I have always been head and shoulders above others my age as far as my maturity level. I never wanted to play with other kids my age, always wanted to be with adults. But, I always am treated like a kid. Even now, at nearly 21- yes, I know I am not “old” by any definition, but I do feel that I should be treated as a 20 something year old woman. Not a “young lady” or whatever else people want to say. I have wasted so many years of my life being down about my looks, I just wish I looked older. Insert line here that I have also heard one to many times “you will appreciate it when you’re old and you still look like you are in your 20s or early 30s”. Yes, I know that when I am possibly sending my future children to college in my 50s, I will look younger… but I am not sure if it is really beneficial to endure all of the criticism and self doubt my young look has caused for many years. I feel like people take what causes me to be self conscious and rub it in my face, unknowingly.
Number 2: Wedding dress shopping, from what I expected, was supposed to be somewhat of an emotional experience… yes, mine was emotional… but in the way that I felt like I missed out on a wonderful experience. At the bridal salon I went to, the girls who worked there were busy and asked me to just pick out dresses and start trying them on with my step-mom’s help (strike 1). Well, when one of the sales associates came up, I was in a gown that I thought was a little too over the top, and she said “oh how cute!”, mind you that this girl I would expect is no more than 2-3 years older than me. I politely said, “I really don’t like the word ‘cute’ for wedding dress shopping… I am going for a pretty.” Well, the next dress got a “sexy” from the girl. Not exactly what I was hoping for, as it made things completely awkward and I was uncomfortable. But, it was better than “cute”. When I finally found MY dress, she said “cute” once more, and I honestly became very annoyed by the comment. I want my flower girl and ring bearer, even my aisle decorations and centerpieces, to be cute… not me, the bride. Nevertheless, I bought my dress from there at a later date strictly because of the budget-friendly sale they were having, not because of the warm, friendly feeling they gave off.
And Thirdly, sorry if I am boring you guys! This is probably the cause for this vent post though- I went to an oral surgery consultation today. While in one of the rooms (my step mom and fiance both were there) the oral surgeon came in and said “oh, it’s a family affair…” Then kept using words like “cool” and “fun” then described the possibility of doing something with a hole in my mouth to impress my parents and boyfriend… so I corrected by saying “FIANCE” but he kept the whole thing going. Soon after, a lady came in to discuss insurance and appointments and said at least 3 or 4 times, like she was reassuring herself “Well, You ARE 20, almost 21, so YOU CAN listen in on this,” and “You ARE 20, so you CAN sign this”. Oh and she also said, ” you have the whole family here” which then made me realized they were thinking my FI is my brother probably. Seriously people?
So there you have it. Yes, I do look young for my age. Yes, I am getting married at the age of 21, FI 26. Yes, I do get offended when people assume they can treat you like a child. And YES, I am young and getting married, while I am in school! GASP! But, guess what? We will do just great with things, and no matter the age you get married, it is still a wonderful joining of two people who love each other and who want to spend the rest of their lives together. (This wasn’t directed at any bees, I promise girls! Just the rest of the world…)