- 3 years ago
- Wedding: May 2014
Last week, FI and I were announced as winners of a competition to win a wedding package – this package includes a reception for 50 guests at a local fancy hotel for early 2014.
Before you read on, please take a look at my post in this thread – you’ll get a bit of backstory: http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/how-to-invite-some-family-members-but-not-others#axzz2Ytz1mWHE to begin with.
After we had been chosen as finalists for the competition, FI phoned his father, and then again after he had been chosen as winners – his father was less than enthusiastic. He kept mentioning things like “why didn’t you tell me you entered?” and other comments that were making it all about him – as usual!
A couple of days ago, FI’s mother had offered to contribute to the wedding, which we accepted. Because the package only covered 50 guests, and FI has a lot of aunts, uncles and first cousins, his “25” would not be covering all of his family, let alone his groomsmen and friends. FI and I discussed with his mother what she would like her money to be used with, and she said she would be happy to cover the extra people on hers and FIL’s side. FI’s side would have 40 attending.
We were invited over for dinner that night to discuss it further. FIL kept saying “oh, we’d be happy to help” when we all knew damn well he’d let MIL pay, and he’d jump at the chance to take the credit for the contribution. We were at their house for over 5 hours.
The next day (Friday) MIL called FI to say she had something for FI, to do with the financial side of things. FI explained that we had a very busy day (running back and forth to appointments in our town and the next one over, as well as doing our grocery shopping and running other errands) and he wasn’t sure if we would have time that day to go over and discuss things further, MIL said the information needed to be sent off urgently – so FI offered to call in quickly to pick it up, and then we’d discuss it later. MIL agreed.
A few hours pass, and we’re finally done with the last of our errands, so FI suggested quickly calling in to his house to grab the information. Just before we got to their house, our gas company called with urgent information, so I had to stay on the line. FI went into his parents home while I stayed in the car, on the phone.
Less than 2 minutes later, FI came storming out of his parents home, and got in the car and began to drive away. I asked what had happened and he responded with this – “Dad said you were being rude by staying in the car, and sending me in to ‘see what we can get’ So I told Mum, thanks, but no thanks. We wouldn’t be accepting her offer.” I was confused, and angry all at the same time!
I picked up the phone and called FI’s parents – MIL answered and I calmly asked to speak with FIL. She was in the backyard, and then she said “sorry for what FIL said, he’s tired” – ahhh, the age old excuse everyone seems to use for FIL. I believe the correct words would be: rude, drunk and narcissistic.
FIL then came to the phone – I instantly corrected him on what he had said. I told him hat we never asked for their contribution, MIL had offered, and we had only accepted so that MIL’s siblings (who love and support us as a couple), and his siblings (who do not!), could attend on the day. He told me to tell FI he was sorry, and I said – you’ll have to do that – I haven’t done anything wrong, and then he hung up.
MIL immediately called FI, so I answered the phone – thinking it was FIL, because FI did not want to speak with him – and then passed the phone on to FI. FI had explained why we would no longer be accepting her generous offer, and that FIL’s family would not be attending – which is what FI & I had discussed prior to MIL’s offer, anyway. FIL was shouting in the background “they will be coming!” “why is he doing this to me?” “I’m his father! I’ve done everything for him and this is how he repays me!” “This is all (me)’s fault!” FI responded and said that FIL’s mother and sister (the only one who will speak to us
Fast forward a few phone calls from MIL telling FI he’s being unreasonable, a call from his father saying “don’t you want me at your wedding?” to which FI obviously responded, “yes, but only if you’ll be on your best behaviour” a few missed calls from MIL’s mother – who no doubt is calling to also tell him he’s being unreasonable – FIL would have called everyone in his contacts to put on the “whoa is me” sob story. I cannot believe this man is 53 years old.
We’re only a week into serious wedding planning and this has already happened. LOL. Yay.