Post # 1
My MIL has a history of telling my husband (and lately me) WAYY too much information. Examples: by the time he was 10, my husband knew about ALL if his mother’s past sexual partners. Earlier this year, both parents tried to involve us in their marital problems. DH kept saying “This is between the two of you” and tried to stay out of it. So they told us they decided to separate. Months later we find out they only told him and did not tell his older sister. A few weeks after they finally told the sis, they decided not to separate. To this day I firmly believe that the whole “we’re getting separated” was a cry for attention since they never told the sister.
The latest overshare is medical. For years his mom has been really inappropriate with comments about how “Your dad’s health is terrible. He’s going to die soon” right in front of him! Lately she has taken a turn from morbid to gross.
MIL canceled one of our visits last month because of hemeroids. When e saw her next and she apparently told my husband ALL about them in graphic detail. Her son does NOT need to know the details of what is going on in her butthole. Thank god I was outside with the dogs at the time. He was horrified. She also goes on about her husband’s teeth implants (his teeth are all rotted and disgusting- I think he has 6 of his own teeth left). The latest- she canceled my husband’s birthday dinner because she said she had a “stomach bug” which I thought was stupid- we should have just gone out with FIL, but at least she was being vague. Then, 3 days later she emails us about her diarehhea.
I think it’s time for my husband to tell her to keep the medical a mystery and just tell us she’s under the weather. Of course if she is seriously in danger- heart attack, stroke, etc- let us know, but her digestive tract, marital problems, and sexual history should allll remain a mystery. Who wants to bet that if my husband tells her he doesn’t want to hear about her poop she gets upset and invents a crisis like the separation…. She HATES being told not to do or say things.
Post # 3
Whaaaaat. That’s waaay too much. I’d definitely request to just get the headlines and not a detailed play-by-play. You could try to give her a taste of her own medicine (oversharing about your lives), but that’s probably just encourage her and make it worse!
Post # 4
The women in my family tend to do this too. I think it’s almost always a cry for attention and/or a way to get out of obligations. I can’t really offer any advice…just empathy!
Post # 5
I’m sorry, I didn’t get past the part where a woman tells her 10 year old son about her past sexual partners. Whoa. Well, at least you have some entertaining anecdotes for your coworkers.
Post # 6
I talked to my husband and he agrees enough is enough. The next time either of his parents tells us too much about their bodies, he will ask them to leave it at “Under the weather.” She’ll probably be pissy about it because she hates boundaries and will act out because she’s losing her confidant but enough is enough. His dad probably will make a joke about how he doesn’t want to hear about his grotty teeth either.
Post # 7
My family is the opposite, they share nothing. People could have cancer or be on death’s door and will not mention. As in, my cat died and they didn’t tell me for months, just casually dropped into a convo about something else.
At the very least, you have a complete medical history to tell your doctor, LOL!
Post # 8
Ohhhh myyyy gosh. I mean, I by no means am private, but even for me, that is tooo much!
Post # 9
Oh my, she might be related to my MIL!!!! If im not getting negative comments hurled at me its typically the “I need to go see the Dr About….”! That’s not even the worst, She has told me right in front of her son how scandalous women are, she then proceeded to say she cheated on his father numerous times and how stupid he was that he didnt know. I actually found that one to be a dig at me as she was trying to find some similarities between us?!? Long story short we just chose to see her on holidays and some weekends. I do have to say my Fiance’s relationship was hurt by him finally standing up to her but it needed to be done. With time we only hope she understands…
Post # 10
@MrsBroccoli: Idk, people in my family are super honest about everything too. It isn’t inappropriate, just different. Different strokes for different folks. Maybe stop being so judgey and embrace you future family.
Post # 11
@subtlebee: Really? My husband, her son, hates it. She’ll often wait until I leave a room or step aside to go on full TMI mode. My husband does not need to hear about how her rectum turns inside out when she poops. He absolutely doesn’t need to hear about how she hates how her husband does X and isn’t she right and her son should be on get side. She is trying to use my husband against het husband while also trying to use him as therapist, doctor, and best friend. It’s unhealthy at best, extremely manipulative at worse.
I’m all for having certain relationships with friends and family that other people would go “Gross!” to, but both people have to be on board. Otherwise it turns into my husband venting to me about how he realizes now how his mother shared way too much of her sexual past with him when he was growing up because she still thought she could do better than DH’s dad.
Post # 12
I would not want to hear about those things! I hate it when people go into way more detail than necessary. Glad my parents don’t overshare. I do have an aunt that gives wayyy tmi. At family dinners (like Thanksgiving) she’d start talking about her pooping routines. I would instantly lose my appetite. Ugh. I stayed in a hotel with her once too, and she felt the need to tell me in detail about what happened in the bathroom that morning (I won’t go into more detail, but it was so gross), and then proceeded to tell me about how her husband (my uncle) loves blow jobs, but she doesn’t like giving them. It immediately gave a horrible mental image. I tried telling her it was TMI and she would laugh as if I was joking. Hope your MIL gets the point and stops telling you guys all that stuff!
Post # 13
Why doesnt he say “seriously mom thats gross” and change the topic right then and there? Does he just sit there and let her go on about it? If he doe then its somewhat his own fault lol
My mom does this, but then I tell her about stuff as well. Sometimes I do have to tell her, like thats gross stop it.
Post # 14
@MrsBroccoli: I’m not really on board with my family but sometimes you just have to accept people for who they are (even if it’s annoying). You have to decide if it is more important to you to have harmony and a relationship in the future than to have to ignore tmi. I am a fan of keeping the peace so long as it isn’t an abusive situation. She sounds like she is a lot to deal with but not really someone I would ostracize. Plus your husband might think he’s on your side but grow to resent you if you make him be mean to his mother.
Post # 15
“Her son does NOT need to know the details of what is going on in her butthole.”
I’m sorry, but I laughed at that sentence.