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LOL you are not. I'm not preggers, but a friend of mine says the same thing, her MIL considers the baby hers and "thanks" them for having it. LOL! They now just roll their eyes and ignore her. ha.
I am not pregnant - but I do think that I would find that annoying.
Regarding referring to the baby as "theirs/ours" - unfortunately, I think they say it with the best of intentions (because they love your baby), so there is not too much you can do to correct it without sounding a little hormonal/mean.
As far as being touched/photographed. I think you can kindly say that you aren't up to having your picture taken/being touched, and as long as you say it nicely, that they should respect that.
I'll probably say, "Nope. MY baby. You say, 'Grandbaby.'" :) And I agree with Ms Mini about the touching and photographing.
Lol thanks for the support everyone.. I wish it was as simple as just simply saying to them that I wasn't up for the added attention of touching and photographing but it simply just does not work. At one point my MIL even lifted up my shirt and showed my belly to everyone in the room (about 15 people) Its days like that when I thank God for making me atleast slightly laid back because I was very tempted to lift hers up too lol... Also recently I had an argument with my mom about how many pictures they were planning on taking at a recent family get together. I explained that I'm not comfortable being pregnant, not please with my looks, etc etc and her solution was to say "well whenever someone takes your picture they can just say how beautiful you are while pregnant and eventually you'll learn to be okay with it" LOL it just doesn't work that way...
I wouldn't be upset if someone touched me or took my picture. I think it's sweet and you should maybe even enjoy it while you're pregnant. However, I might get a little upset if someone said "my baby" but I have never heard anyone say that! It's crazy, how could anyone ever say that without thinking they sound pyscho.
Oh, wow. I can't believe she did that! I would've snapped her face off if she lifted up my shirt. I don't like being touched unless we are very close... Basically intimate. So unless you're my husband, hands off. Good job keeping your cool!!
@farmgirl2106: The most hilarious thing was about 2 weeks later my husband's aunt had the nerve to ask why I was a little stand offish towards MIL that night and implied that I was the one being rude...
I guess it just boils down to one simple principal in my mind. If you wouldn't say it or do it to a person that isn't expecting, why does it suddenly become okay to do to a person that is?
oh wow I can't believe she did that, I would have been very upset with her. I also hear you about the whole it's my baby thing, my MIL has and still says this about my daughter who is 4, as a matter of fact she just said it the other day and it's very uncomfortable and it's like um no that's my baby who came out of my whoowhoo lol
This is one of the things I am MOST worried about
My Sister-in-Law is over the top opinionated. When I was getting married, it really created a rift. It's not her "opinion" she says it as if "I know best...this is how it is" She gives her opinions as if they are fact and she can really border on rude sometimes.
I dread when the time comes that I tell her because I KNOW she will make me nuts.
I guess you have to learn to have some good comebacks. Not sure what...and not something bitchy...but I think a little sarcasm can be warranted :-)
She LIFTED YOUR SHIRT UP?! Homegirl is lucky she still has an arm.
Frankly, it really angers me when people laugh off requests not to touch someone. That just seems like the height of arrogance and disrespect to me.
I'm not pregnant, but I've always hoped that if/when I am, and a stranger puts their hand on my belly, that I'll have the guts to immediately put my hand on theirs. Being pregnant does not make you public property.
You should wear a sign like this around your neck: http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/do-not-touch-baby-signs-what-do-you-think
And it should say, "Please do not touch MY baby." lol
You should tell them that every time they refer to it as "their" baby, they have to make a sizable donation to the college fund/be on diaper/body fluid duty for a whole day.
:-)
I feel you. I'm pretty sure my mom thinks our baby is going to live at her house. She already bought a rocking chair from BabysRUs, she has toys ready, she's planning on getting some sort of crib, etc. And my grandma has offered us her cleaning lady. Great, I'll take her.... but then my grandma keeps saying how this lady is so excited to take care of our baby! "She's great at giving baths, she knows how to change diapers, etc." Ok, that's great, she can give her own baby a bath and I'll take care of my own.
People are so weird. I can't believe your MIL did that...if even my own mom did that, I'd be royally pissed.
On the picture-taking thing, I also can't understand why some people don't get that some women do NOT feel super pleased with the way they look when pregnant. Not everyone looks "glowing" and fantastic during pregnancy! It's really, really hard on your body, and frankly, you just probably don't always look or feel your best. People should respect that...maybe next time someone wants to take your pic as the cute pregnant lady and you don't feel like it, make a deal with them that they can take your picture if you can come take theirs in the morning when they have bedhead and haven't showered, or the next time they are sick with the flu.
I was definitely more irritated in my first trimester, which I think was mostly hormones plus I felt like my body was alien to me. I didn't care that the girl at Borders "had the same baby books" and I didn't want to give the maternity store all my "baby info" because it's none of their business.
Now that I'm showing and nearing the end of my second trimester I don't feel as annoyed as I did starting off. My husband has taken a few pictures of me - which I don't mind now that I look "pregnant" and not just fat and my grandma told me that she says prayers for "Our baby" - which I actually thought was kind of sweet since he will be first great-grandbaby.
But then again my family is not pushy and neither are my in-laws. They're just very helpful, but only when asked. :) My co-workers are the annoying ones...but I don't have to be nice to them if they irritate me.
Hit them. Seriously. That's what I did - I hit every.single.person. who reached towards my stomach. The more heavyset ones, I reached towards them and tried to touch theirs, and that made them even more irritated.
When MIL makes a "my baby" comment, I say when because she will, I plan on saying "My baby is sleeping right now, your baby is over on the couch (and point to DH)." Whoever told me this got her MIL to stop.
@nyebride: Ha ha! Love it! Super funny.
My problem won't be my MIL it'll be my own mom! We're already having issues on me creating my own separation (we had a giant family falling out after she invited herself for a visit to my house to celebrate my 25th birthday, and I said I'd rather spend it alone with my husband. Talk about drama! It was the first one celebrated without them...) so I know she's going to start compensating by getting possessive about my child. You can bet my fighting gloves are already on.
As far as ppl touching my belly and getting belly revenge, I just can't! Touching bellies freaks me out so much, they're the jiggliest parts on people...eep! I couldn't bring myself to do it no matter how pissed I got, I have major touching issues. I don't even hug half my friends. I'm just not touchy feely. So far the only people who have touched are a friend (who sweetly asked first) and my husband's grandma, who's been really out of it thanks to a bunch of vicodin after a bad fall. So she gets a pass ;)
@KatyElle: Exactly- welcome to pregnancy.... how about being 8 months pregnant and being told when you are allowed to have the baby or even right after you get home from the hospital, people are waiting in your parking lot even though you requested that everyone come and see the baby after everything is put away and you all are settled and had bonding time...
Some people are just inconsiderate to new parents and have no idea how to conduct themselves until you blow up on them...
Omg, that sounds super annoying. I'm pretty sure my FMIL won't do that, she isn't the touchy feely type. My sisters and cousins will be belly touching, but that probably won't bother me. the crazy strangers is a different story.
I think when she says 'our baby' she is just being short for 'our grandbaby'. I doubt she really thinks she has ownership entitlements. But if she does, tell her you'll feed the baby, and she can deal with the other end! And that in a couple of years the baby can stay at her place a few nights a week, so you two can have a night out. and once they are obnoxious teenagers she can have them full time, lol.
I feel for you!
I had a stranger lift my tank top up and I almost punched her out I swear!!! She said her daughter was pregnant---like that makes it okay!
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Please pardon me for a minute here while I mini vent... Ever since being pregnant I feel like I've lost rights to my own body. Somehow having a baby inside now means I get touched against my will, have my belly examined by anyone that feels like it, and have family members taking my picture constantly to document my pregnancy. As if these things are not bad enough, in the past week or so several family members have made references to the baby being theirs. Some gems have been "of course I'll help you paint the nursery, but really are you sure about that color? My baby deserves to have a brighter room than that" or after seeing new ultra sound pictures several people have said "oh I can't wait for my baby girl to get here" The first one was from my MIL and she corrected herself eventually to "our baby" which DH seems to think is fine. I keep trying to explain to him that its our baby- as in mine and his- no one elses... Seriously how is it that if they weren't there for the baby making process these people all think this baby is theirs? Someone please tell me if I'm being irrationally hormonal or if this is something I'm justified in being annoyed at!