- 6 years ago
So, I start this post by telling a bit of backround. When I was 16, My mother had two children. She needed someone to watch them, and couldin’t afford daycare, even though her and my mom were both teachers. Daycare is around $800 a mont per child in our area. She asked me to take the state test to test out of highschool (Called the High School Proficincy) which is similar to a G.E.D. and start city college at night and watch the kids durring the day. She saud this is what we do for family and she’s do the same for me is I had needed it. I agreed. I was 16, I really didnt have much choice.
Fast forward to now. I have a 4 year old from a previous toxic marrige. I get no support. Me and FI have two seperate shifts, he works days and I work nights. he starts and 7am and I get off anywhere between 6:30 but sometimes up until 10am if I go into overtime. For refrenece I go in at 11:30pm My FI drops off my son at my parents house, and my dad, who is retired, is to watch him until I get off work. I legally can’t drive becasue of my vision. My dad picks me up and takes us both home. It never used to be this way, it’s only been this way for 4 months. I pay gas and let them use our old car for this. My shifts changed and there is no new one on the horizon. FI is one of 4 people and was hired speceficly to open the store. There are no transfer oppertunities in this area.
We have a car payment, 1 credit card halfway paid down, and FI subscribes to a few online games totalling 60/mo, but nothing outlandish. We live in an expensive part of California and rent is high. I cut out my cell phone to save money, and have been doing at home things instead of the salon. FI only buys a game every now and then. We’re not hurting, we’re comfortable with our lives.
My sister has a learning diability and my parents are always fighting with the schools about things. Lately it’s her being in regular ed. classes. The school want her in certain special classes like social skills and household skills. Make of her friends that are also disabled and are of a similar level as her take these classes.
My parents want her in Advanced Biology and History. The school said it wasn’t apropriate for her level and they argued she could do it. She took them for a semester and she failed both. The revisited it and said they wanted a notetaker. The district refused. They asked for one more semester to “prove” that she could do it. My dad now goes to class with her (She’s in high school) and takes notes in both classes. The district offers them the option of the teacher emailing them the lessons of the day, but my dad insists he be there. Great, whatever. I know for a fact the my dad does her homework for her for all her regular ed classes. She recently won an award for her poem and it was featured in a local Autistic art show. My mother confessed that my dad rewote her poem so it would “make sence”
To my problem:
my dad says he refuses to watch my son or help me with transpotation anymore, as my sister “needs him”. I am hurt and appalled that my mother and father have just left me out to dry for something so silly. I don’t know what they are trying to prove. I love my sister with all my heart. Shes a great kid. She can’t do a lot of things alone, and my parents had accepted his disability, but it seems now that high school is here they have entered this denial again that she’s going to harvard. I’ve seen her I.E.P’s and Assesments, its beyond what she can do. They spend 4 hours a day on homework-trying to understand it and explain it to her- it seems like torture. I sacraficed a lot for them and I just needed this help until Augest when Kindergarden starts and I can’t even get THAT.
We can’t afford another $800 a month for fulltime and there are no centers or at home daycares within walking distance that are accepting part time( as I cannot legally drive).
I’m angry, upset, feel lied to and am hurting for my sister. As Special Ed. Teachers, she knows excatly what my sister is capable of. Her being in a day program for the rest of her live isn’t the end of the world. How about let her take a socail skills class so that with assistence she can one day live in her own? How about listen to your colleiges about where your daughter is at? How about help your daughter who gave up years of her life to help you?
I asked my boss is layoffs were coming and told her that I’d be OK with getting layed off. My paycheck would only be half, but we’d save money in gas and insurrance on that other car we have arround for my dad to use. Plus we’d stop saving for the wedding and a house 🙁 until i could find a closer job. She doesn’t want to let me go and gave me a link for local bus services that pickup and dropoff disabled persons wherever they need to go, but they only operate from 9am to5pm 🙁
Sorry this was a novel. Thanks if you read this far.
I hate selfishness. Maybe I’m being selfish. I don’t know.