(Closed) Vent: Mom trying to force sister and I to be close

posted 8 years ago in Family
Post # 3
18645 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

Oh girl I’m so sorry!  Maybe she is in denial about your sister being a drug addict and that she needs help not people pretending that everything is fine?  I don’t really have any advice because I’m an only.  I hope that your mom gets it one day but that might not be possible.  Hope your day gets better!

Post # 4
1111 posts
Bumble bee

It’s no problem!  Maybe if you find a way to show her that she doesn’t call/send cards/etc… “oh you won’t believe who called me today, aside from you!”… “no one.”

I can semi-relate, it’s not my sister, but my cousin.  We used to be close until I realized what sort of person he (and his wife) is.

Of course, they like to act like they don’t know why I dislike them, so it ends up making me look like the bad person for wanting nothing to do with them.

So I get invited to things like weddings and Xmas dinner, and I know if I turn it down, then it’s going to make even more of a stink, because they don’t know why I don’t like them and wah wah wah.

I can’t bring myself to care enough to stir up the BS that would happen if I flat-out explained why I don’t care for them, and my mom likes to get on this crazy religious “you won’t get blessed if you don’t forgive it’s time to move on!”

The next time she pulls something like that, I’m going to tell her that I have moved on, and there is no room in my awesome life for people I don’t care for.  Because it’s totally my fault that I don’t like people who create mess in my life.

Post # 5
1757 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

I’m so sorry you’re going through this. And unfortunately, I can somewhat sympathize. My middle sister is fairly normal – good job, awesome children, mentally stable. My oldest sister, on the other hand – not so much. She eloped to CA when she was 16, was heavily into drugs, and is (an often unmedicated) manic bipolar. She’s also unpredictable when alcohol is around, and at my mother’s wake – of all places – criticized mom’s parenting techniques, saying that she would have turned out differently had mom instituted more discipline. My cousin and I had to physically restrain my middle sister from attacking her.

This sister and I haven’t spoken in years, and after months of deliberation, I’ve decided to not invite her to my wedding. I’m positive that my mom would have preferred that I invite her, but after mom’s wake … I just can’t. Sometimes, your friends become the family you’ve chosen, and actual blood ties aren’t all that binding. For your sake, I hope your mom backs off a little.

Post # 6
8353 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2011

I also have a sister that is dysfunctional; for lack of a nicer term.

I disowned her just prior to Christmas because she called me while she was drunk; again. I know she is taking drugs too. I just can’t take it any more. She doesn’t know I am getting married and she will not be invited to my wedding. The only time she calls me is when she wants something or is drunk or high.

I do have another, younger sister though, and she is awesome and will be in my wedding.

Post # 8
5498 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2010

I’m sorry your Mom is being that way. I hope she backs off soon! I don’t know what’s it’s like to not get along with my sister, so I’m just here to offer *HUGS* and support. = D Enjoy the rest of your Christmas!

Post # 9
8 posts
  • Wedding: May 2011

You poor thing. I hope your mum backs off a bit. It doesn’t sound like its your fault for the way the relationships turned out. From the gist of your comment, it doesn’t sound like there is any animosity between you two, you just have very little in common. Your Mum probably had ideas about how her children would turn out and it just hasn’t worked out that way. Hope it works out and your Mum doesn’t end up stressing you out!

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