- Miss Makeup
- 8 years ago
- Wedding: September 2010
I said no.
I have been lurking here for about a month and just had to post because I really need to vent. I don’t know what to do because I feel like my MOH is trying to take over my wedding.
She lives out of town and we haven’t seen each other in person since before I got engaged (last Nov). We’ve been friends since elementary school and all that so I made her my MOH. I’m one of those people who have been looking forward to, and enjoying, the wedding planning process. I am very creative and have no problem planning parties and such, because I actually planned events at the last job I had. I knew what I wanted and have been dreaming about it for the last few years. At this point, I pretty much have everything planned and decided upon and she came down last weekend to hang out with me and try on BM dresses. I plan on asking the bridesmaids to help me assemble some of my diy projects and include them if they choose to help, but I honestly don’t need *or want* help with the planning portion. I already know what I want, KWIM?
First, she complained that the BM’s would be underdressed because they don’t have long dresses. Then she didn’t want to try on the dress I picked out for her (she is very plus size and I am doing 4 different styles of dresses – 1 for each girl). Well once she finally tried it on, she really did like it, but I had to argue with her to get her to even try it!! She said it was sack shaped and would look terrible, but once she tried it on she changed her mind. It turned out to be the most flattering of the 4 dresses. And a defined waist does not equal sack shaped IMHO.
Then later on, she asked me if her daughter was going to be my flowergirl. I said, well I have asked my other friends daughter already and she replied with, “Well I’ve been planning on Sarah doing it. (name changed). I was so caught off guard I actually said ok I guess I can have 2 flowergirls. Now I’m upset because Sarah is WAY to young to be a flowergirl and I am going to have to call the MOH and tell her that Sarah can’t do it. Not to mention – I can’t afford 2 flowergirls. Not to mention, last time I checked you aren’t supposed to nominate your children.
Then she asked if she could wear a birdcage veil because she is the MOH and needs to look different than the other BM’s. I said no, I am planning on wearing one of those at my reception. So she asked if she could wear a black one, I said no because that reminds me of a funeral. So now she keeps sending my pictures of these huge fascinators and is pushing me to let her wear one. I was planning on buying cute jewelry and hair accessories for the girls, among other gifts, for them to wear.
Then she told me that she wanted a pink flask for her bm gift. Um, no one of my other bm’s is a preachers wife!!
Now she is coming back to town in 2 weeks and asking all the bm’s to get together with her while I’m out of town to pick out shoes. OMG i’m going to go crazy.
I have been very nice and asked all of the girls what they think the bm dresses, etc. I want them to be happy with them, I really do. They are black cocktail length dresses. I told them to pick out whatever shoe they wanted as long as it was a black satin peeptoe. It could be flats, heels. whatever. I gave them the option to get their hair done or not, since I can’t pay for it, I am letting them do whatever they want with their hair. I have made basically no demands of them and have a brunch and several gifts planned for all of them. Is it wrong for me to be upset that she is asking them to get together without me? I mean, I haven’t even got to hang out with all of them at one time yet. I feel left out. I feel like she is trying to live out her bridal fantasy through my wedding. She is planning to elope in about a year. I don’t think she is doing this to be mean, more out of excitement but I am still majorly upset with the things that happened this weekend. I love her as a friend and NEVER in a million years thought this type of thing would be a problem.
What would you do if you were me? I am a nice person, but I don’t let people run over me either. I am so upset. I haven’t been stressed out the entire time I’ve been planning until she came down this weekend. I feel like saying, plan the bachelorette party all you want, and leave my wedding ALONE!