Post # 1
My sister is getting married on the CDN thanksgiving long weekend (2 weeks from Sunday). No one knows what’s happening. No one know what time, no one knows where they’re supposed to be, how people are getting places, where people are staying, NOTHING. It’s a little backyard wedding with about 10 guests.
I’m stuck in the middle, everyone is calling me complaining about how no one knows what’s going on, can I help with getting people here and there. What is sister’s plan? What time is the wedding etc.
No one can ask sister because she will just get annoyed and thinks she’s told people all of this and been very clear when in reality she hasn’t.
The whole thing is a gong show at the moment, it’s taking all of my willpower not to go in to big sister super planner control freak mode and run the schedule and logistics for her (and I think she’s actually waiting for me to just do it – that’s the way she is, big sis Ginkgo will figure it out).
Post # 2
MsGinkgo: So can I tell you how you made my DAMN day with “The whole thing is a gong show…”? I’m seriously at my desk with the case of the shoulder shakes trying to hold in my laughter! DUDE! LOLOLOL.
Other than that, I say sit back and let it slide. Because the Gong Show was hilarious, and so will this wedding.
Post # 3
Xu: I just feel bad for my sister. She was my MOH, she had a meltdown at my wedding about her hair (seriously…she was the only person who freaked out at all during the day, and she did it multiple times) I’m concerned what’s going to happen day of when things don’t go according to the vision in her head that she hasn’t communicated to anyone…
Post # 4
MsGinkgo: Then sit down with her and go over the details and figure out what needs to be done. Between the both of you and any other family members, I’m sure you all can get it done.
Post # 5
MsGinkgo: If it’s only 10 people I’d just send out an email with a time of a day and link to near by hotels.
Post # 6
playdohpants: not my responsibility and if I do sister will flip out at me for ‘taking over’, also ask the hotels in town are booked for a hockey tournament.
Xu: I’ve tried. Other problem is that we’re in different provinces – this is all by phone. She won’t communicate expectations, I’ve asked, I know my dad has asked, she won’t tell anyone anything. This is why I’m annoyed. I’m afraid her wedding will be aa disaster and I dying want that for her, but if it is it’s her own fault because she won’t tell anyone anything.
Post # 7
MsGinkgo: Maybe if you start by telling her that everyone is confused and calling you, cause they want to know the logistics, maybe her tight lips will loosen?
Post # 8
Super annoying! I would just tell anyone who asks you to call your sister. Give them her phone number if they don’t have it. Let her deal with it, because you’re right — it’s not your responsibility!
Post # 9
MsGinkgo: Don’t own this problem. Tell the people who ask you questions to call your sister.
Post # 10
MsGinkgo: You’ve tried to help. At this point I’m with stillme and julies1949, anyone with questions should go to your sister, and back out.
Post # 11
MsGinkgo: Not even my sister, but I was in a wedding for a friend who had a much bigger wedding (200 plus people) and had no idea what time the rehersal was until the day before the rehersal, and no idea when the wedding party needed to be there for photos until after the rehersal. Her DH and her even gave people two different times (told my DH 3:30, told me 4:30 for the rehersal) The call on times were so bad, there are NO pictures with all the groomsmen because her DH told two of them just to show up in time for the wedding to start when they were doing picutres before, and then didn’t tell them to stay after for pictures when they were late.
It was so disorganized and it drove me NUTS!!! I had an itenerary for our wedding in my wedding party’s invite 3 months prior to our wedding! I’m a planner and there were several times I just wanted to tell the bride to sit back and let me handle it. I know that was 100% the wrong call, but man, it drove me batty. I kept repeating to myself the entire time “not my wedding, not my problem.” I didn’t believe it until it was over, but it really wasn’t my wedding or my problem.
At the same time, they were happy with their wedding, and that is what really matters.