Post # 1
This is primarily a vent, but it has me pretty upset. Basically I was going over my list of songs for the wedding (first dance, father daughter, bouquet, and garter toss) with my mom and she had me on speaker and I said I wanted these 2 songs for my first dance and my father daughter dance… and my little sister (who is 18) shouted out “No! You can’t use those songs. I’ve already decided I am using those for my wedding.”
My first reaction was “What wedding?” She’s not even in a relationship with anyone. Why is she telling me I can’t use these songs? So I told her that I was using them because there is still a lot of time between our weddings and she started crying and my mom told me that this was something special to her and that I should be considerate of her feelings. REALLY? EFFING REALLY? I said that it wasn’t right for me to change my plans (both songs I chose are special to me too!) for her, because it could be that when she does get married she wants to use different songs and I wouldn’t get to use the songs I really wanted. Or enough time will have passed that likely only SHE AND I will remember the songs and she could use them too!
But no. Now I am the bad person. My little sister said that if I don’t change my songs she will not be coming to my wedding (she is a BRIDESMAID) and that I need to stop acting like a 12 year old and realize that just because I’m getting married doesn’t mean the world revolves around me. Really? Because I want to play 2 songs at my wedding and don’t want to change them 30 days before my wedding, I’m acting like the world revolves around me?
For anyone who is wondering the songs are:
First Dance Song:
When I Said I do
Father Daughter Dance:
Daddy Dance with Me
Obviously I am not the first (or the last) bride who will use these songs. I don’t know why it’s such a big deal. This is not the kind of stress I need a month before my wedding! I’m just about to change my songs and be done with it.
Post # 3
@GamersBride: Screw your sister. Use the songs.
Post # 4
Post # 6
Your Mom and sister are overreacting. I would use the songs anyways, but I’m sure you realize that your sister may not be a bridesmaid. Does she usually display theatrics? It’s ridiculous on your sister’s part!
Post # 7
I would not have even had a conversation about it…. “I’m sorry you feel that way, sister, but those are my wedding songs”.
Post # 8
Sounds like she is having a little sister tantrum 🙁 This is the part of wedding planning I hate the most, trying to make sure everyone is “okay”. I told my dad the other day “Why can’t people be normal for one fk’ing day” .. I am sorry she’s being a shit head over this.
If the songs are special to you use them, if they are not worth (as in not important), change them. Thats my best advice.
Post # 9
Wow your sister sounds like an immature brat. Use the songs, since you know you are getting married and shes not even in a relationship
Post # 10
use the songs.
Her first dance song will probably change 10 times over and I think it would be sweet if your dad used the same song for both daughters – why not?
Little sisters can be weird, I have two, 1 who was engaged before me (with no plans to have a wedding) who sometimes seems resentful about mine (she’s my MOH) and my other sister is way too excited – she’s almost 23 – and thinks things should be way over the top.
Post # 11
Use the songs. If she want’s to not go to your wedding then that’s her fault. When people ask you can say that she was protesting your wedding because you choose to use two songs that she also wants to use in her hypothetical future wedding. And then you can wait for everyones puzzled stares, because that is some fucked up reasoning for not attending a family members wedding.
Post # 12
@somethingaquamarine: agreed. She will change her mind when its her turn to get married. The things I thought I wanted at 18 and 21 are completely different.
Post # 13
OP, your sister sounds like a huge brat. I would tell her that she can use the songs first if she gets married first.
Post # 14
@GamersBride: I’d tell her TFB… If she doesn’t show up (which she will) she’s the one who will look like an idiot.
Post # 15
Call her bluff. Tell her you are using the songs and see what happens. If she really refuses to be there, then it’s time for a mom/sister heart-to-heart, face-to-face.
Post # 16
You have every right in the world to use those songs. Your family is not being fair about this. First of all, there is no reason whatsoever that your little sister cannot choose to use the exact same songs for her weddding some day. Beyond that, she may not marry for many years, or ever. It’s unfair and, frankly, ridiculous for your parents and your sister to be behaving in this manner about this issue.