Post # 1
ok bees I just need to vent about something and please let me know if I am being a total b*tch about all of this. So far, my FI and I have been having a little bit of a hard time planning our wedding – financially we’ve been under a lot of stress (we originally wanted a small wedding, but now we have to invite a whole lot more people to our wedding – i.e. family we barely see – to avoid fighting and feelings being hurt). Anyway, our friend is marrying us – she is very much part of our group of friends and is best friends with and knows a lot of the people attending our wedding.
She came to us recently and demanded that she be able to bring a date (she doesn’t have a bf or someone she is dating btw)… we then told her that we are under a lot of financial stress and we don’t know if we could swing that at this point. She then demanded it with the reason being “all my friends are getting married and having kids and I am still single.. it’s depressing”… So she wants to bring a total random person to our wedding. I understand that she is bummed out, and I have decided to let her bring a random date because she is marrying us… but I am feeling totally pissed off about the whole situation. It messed up my seating arrangement (which took me so long to do) and now the guest house we rented out (and are paying for) for the wedding party (including her) has no room for her date and she’s expressed her annoyance at us for that.
ARGH! I just need to vent. Please be brutally honest – Am I being oversensitive on this issue?
Post # 3
It’s rude she demanded a +1, but she’s your officient so I think you should have given her one in the first place. I’m assuming that because she’s a friend you aren’t paying her, so I think the least you could do is let her bring a date if it would help her enjoy the wedding.
Post # 4
- Wedding: August 2013 - Wynn Las Vegas
I’d probably be annoyed that she pushed it after you said no, and that now she is giving you grief over there being no room for him in the house, which you didn’t plan for him staying at in the first place. While I understand why people would push to bring a date if they didn’t know many people, it seems like she is friends with the group who will be at the wedding anyway.
Post # 5
@RunsWithBears: +1, rude she demanded a date after you told her no.
her reasons aren’t even legit.
and then expecting you to have housing arrangements for both of them. she needs to now make her own if she expects to stay.
Post # 6
Are you paying her to marry you? If not, I’d look at the date as (likely less) than what you would have had to pay an officiant.
Post # 7
My fiance and I actually bought her a present already as a thank you (and it was pretty expensive – all together it cost us $100) and now I have to pay for cocktails and a meal for her +1 – had I known, I probably would not have spend that much on a thank you present for her…
I realize I’m being a little oversensitive on the issue – but I can’t help being peeved. She’s our friend and I thought she would understand (it’s not like we said no in the first place to be assh*les… we don’t have an exorbant amount of money to spend on this wedding and it’s costing us way more than expected already)
Thanks for letting me vent ladies! much appreciated 🙂
Post # 8
Paying $100 isn’t a lot for an officiant. I totally get it that you don’t want strangers at your wedding — I don’t either — but I think everyone in the bridal party is doing a lot for you and should be allowed to bring a date (and I’d consider the officiant in this case to be in your bridal party).
Post # 9
@PennyLane67: no, I don’t think you’re being oversensitive, I think she was inappropriate. It’s cheap and easy to get ordained online, technically any of your friends could do it. I would relieve her of the honor and ask someone else.
Post # 10
Not sure how I feel about this one. IF she didn’t know anyone at wedding, I def would have done +1. We, too, are ona budget, and vended up inMoreno twenty more people than on our guest list after a my moms mandatory guests, etc….
The way we did it was this….pretty much everyone invited to our wedding has a SO….so they were invited as a couple. If there was anyone we were going to invite that wasn’t fwith people other people (who we were sure would come), we decided to do +1…..however, it turned out that that wasn’t ever the case- everyone knows a few peoplactual the only stranger we invited was my cousins SO….who I have yet to meet becAuse they live far anyway. Bt they have been together awhile and I was very close to my cousin growing up.
very rude of her to demand…..even more rude of hto up be upset at the sleeping arrangements. What does she thinshall the couples she throws at the wedding are going to run off in corners and make out and leave her alone? Lol