Post # 1
I’m just upset because people are actually getting an attitude about the size of my wedding,who is and isn’t coming…a lot of it is coming from my mom!!!
Initially I planned on having a traditional wedding but the said something smaller,ie. 60ish people. My father took me to a venue on base and it was nice. My fiance wasnt able to come that day and I did t want to book it without him seeing. My mom was willing to put down the $800 deposit for us but again,I was t ready to book without my fiance seeing it. Well he never did,no biggie. Now we are having a 9 person and I love the idea….but everyone is getting so offended.
My great uncle had to give my mom some money she loaned him,she happened to be at the Bridal shop with me and he was talking about how come we weren’t invited…um,nobody is invited…and i havent seen you in 6 years!Now bees,I hardly even told people about my wedding bc it’s so super small. Nobody is invited!!! So I don’t even really talk about it. But anyway, And my mom goes, “ump,and we were going to pay for her wedding! I don’t get it but *gestures hands* that’s her”. Um,she offered to put down the deposit,not pay for the whole thing. That was a piece of what would have had to been done.And hell yeah I’m grateful they offered…but geez,it’s my wedding.
I’m not going to make this too long but its frustrating bc my sister went and got married at city hall with my parents,me and my fiance and the grooms mother and then we went out to dinner…I’m only having 3 people more!!!! How is that THAT different. Then! She “accidently” invited my grandmother!!! There is literally room for 12 people at dinner! There are 11 people and the photographer invited. Not saying I don’t want my grandmother but there’s no room. And then she was getting on me about how she was going to have to uninvited her and she was going to be heartbroken blah blah. Ugh…I am so glad I didn’t do a real wedding if this is what 9 people is like. It really makes me want to be like,”forget everybody!”.
Rant over,enjoy your day lol
This topic was modified 2 years, 10 months ago by JerNCher.
Post # 2
No matter what you choose to do in life, someone will be unhappy/disapproving. You have to focus on what makes you happy!
Post # 3
JerNCher: girl i feel you. We are only having around 30 and i’m getting this on a daily basis! I’m sorry with such a small wedding we shouldnt have people we havent seen in 6 years.
Post # 4
JerNCher: My FMIL is flipping that we are only having 50 people and she thinks she should be able to invite 50 herself! I should show her this post! Good for you, if it makes you happy then forget everyone else I’m sure your day will be perfect 🙂
Post # 5
LegallyBrunetteBee: exactly!!! You cannot invite everyone! Lol I’m like geez,can I get a congratulations! Haha!
FutureMrs.Cammack: show her! Lol i really feel the wedding should be about the bride and the groom becoming husband and wife,what does it matter if your 3rd cousin in law wasn’t there! Lol
Post # 6
It would not have mattered if you invited 10 or 1000, there will ALWAYS be people who get offended. I have 350+ on my guest list, and still have people getting “upset” or asking why so-and-so wasn’t invited. They get over it, and if they don’t, well… who needs ’em anyway? 🙂
Post # 7
I think it’s fine to have the wedding you want- but at this point it would be a low blow to uninvite grandma!
Post # 8
JerNCher: I guess you could tell your mother she is lucky to be invited.
Post # 9
eeniebeans: she was never invited in the first place! Lol my mom said she was talking to her and they stated talking about my fiance and my mom just assumed my grandmother was invited. I told her I’ve never said anybody by my mom and dad. Not my brother C,not my brother V,not my grandfather,nobody. Then when I told her she kept saying “wow…wow…that’s weird.it’s just so strange..wow”. Ugh! I hope it’s taken care of already:/
Post # 10
I am on 38 and nearly all of that are family and it includes kids.
I have some great friends I would love to invite, but if I invite one, I have to invite them all (We are all Mums at our kids school)
We were thinking of maybe having a before BBQ, maybe a couple of weeks before the day for everyone we would like to invite but can’t. Would that smooth things over? Although, these friends I am talking about have never complained, they all support my decision to have the wedding exactly how I want.
Post # 11
JerNCher: Someone will always find something to complain about. We’re fortunate that our families are awesome and have mostly kept their opinions to themselves. The only time someone mentioned something was when we mentioned we weren’t registering for gifts or having a Shower. . . and even then his parents were only a bit surprised and mentioned we should reconsider the registry because people like buying gifts.
Try your best to brush it off and focus on what is most important – you and your FI getting married. 🙂
Post # 12
We had a destination wedding with 9. That was it and it was beautiful although we don’t see/talk to 4 of them now.
A lot of DHs family was offended but we didn’t see/talk to or get invited to any of their events so I don’t see the problem. They just want a party to go to and you ruined it for them.haha
It’s your wedding do it your way 🙂
Post # 13
JerNCher: Welcome to my world! I know what you mean girl! Except mines a little different. Instead of having the smaller wedding we’re having like 130 people, which the venue doesn’t accomodate and so we’re having an appetizer reception, without a formal sit down. People are losing their shit over it. There have been some really hurtful comments made (ie. it’s not a real wedding and people shouldn’t be expected to support us because there is no formal sitdown, and people think we’re being ‘cheap’… meanwhile an appetizer reception is MORE money because we’re ordering enough to compensate not having a sit down, jerks).
My mom was terrible too, now she’s come around to the idea, it just took months and months! The most helpful thing I’ve found is talking to my dad about it. He told me to stop worrying and do what we want, no matter what we’ll never make everyone happy and in years to come the only people that will remember and look back to our day will me my FI and I. So we should have it our way and tell anyone who tries to interject their own opinion to ‘go plan your own wedding’. Hahaha.
Sorry about the vent! But you’re not alone, that convo with my daddio really changed my mind set about everything, and I found myself caring less and less about what people said (including my mom), now I’m back to being happy and excited about our day of love! Hope his words of wisdom can help you too! 🙂
Post # 14
You can’t please everyone. If you try to do so, you will end up being frustrated and resentful. I had like 45 people. Folks added on additional people last minute, but it worked out. You should have the wedding that you want to have. They are lucky that you are not going to elope just the two of you! I think your mom may have been hoping that you would have had a bigger wedding since your sibling did not. You are not responsible for her expectations. Folks tend to get over it in time. Once you are married things and people usually come back to earth. Congrats, and I am sure your wedding will be lovely!