vent- pepole have a problem with how I chose to have my wedding!

posted 2 years ago in Emotional
Post # 2
Member
2684 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 1996

No matter what you choose to do in life, someone will be unhappy/disapproving. You have to focus on what makes you happy!

Post # 3
Member
244 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2014

JerNCher:  girl i feel you. We are only having around 30 and i’m getting this on a daily basis! I’m sorry with such a small wedding we shouldnt have people we havent seen in 6 years.

Post # 4
Member
587 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

JerNCher:  My FMIL is flipping that we are only having 50 people and she thinks she should be able to invite 50 herself! I should show her this post! Good for you, if it makes you happy then forget everyone else I’m sure your day will be perfect 🙂 

Post # 6
Member
3 posts
Wannabee
  • Wedding: October 2014

It would not have mattered if you invited 10 or 1000, there will ALWAYS be people who get offended. I have 350+ on my guest list, and still have people getting “upset” or asking why so-and-so wasn’t invited. They get over it, and if they don’t, well… who needs ’em anyway? 🙂

Post # 7
Member
6740 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2010

I think it’s fine to have the wedding you want- but at this point it would be a low blow to uninvite grandma!

Post # 8
Member
2718 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

JerNCher:  I guess you could tell your mother she is lucky to be invited.

Post # 10
Member
191 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: March 2015

I am on 38 and nearly all of that are family and it includes kids. 

I have some great friends I would love to invite, but if I invite one, I have to invite them all (We are all Mums at our kids school)

We were thinking of maybe having a before BBQ, maybe a couple of weeks before the day for everyone we would like to invite but can’t. Would that smooth things over? Although, these friends I am talking about have never complained, they all support my decision to have the wedding exactly how I want. 

Post # 11
Member
1666 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2015

JerNCher:  Someone will always find something to complain about. We’re fortunate that our families are awesome and have mostly kept their opinions to themselves. The only time someone mentioned something was when we mentioned we weren’t registering for gifts or having a Shower. . . and even then his parents were only a bit surprised and mentioned we should reconsider the registry because people like buying gifts.

Try your best to brush it off and focus on what is most important – you and your FI getting married. 🙂

Post # 12
Member
494 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

We had a destination wedding with  9. That was it and it was beautiful although we don’t see/talk to 4 of them now.

A lot of DHs family was offended but we didn’t see/talk to or get invited to any of their events so I don’t see the problem.  They just want a party to go to and you ruined it for them.haha 

It’s your wedding do it your way 🙂

Post # 13
Member
2704 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: January 2015

JerNCher:  Welcome to my world! I know what you mean girl! Except mines a little different. Instead of having the smaller wedding we’re having like 130 people, which the venue doesn’t accomodate and so we’re having an appetizer reception, without a formal sit down. People are losing their shit over it. There have been some really hurtful comments made (ie. it’s not a real wedding and people shouldn’t be expected to support us because there is no formal sitdown, and people think we’re being ‘cheap’… meanwhile an appetizer reception is MORE money because we’re ordering enough to compensate not having a sit down, jerks).

My mom was terrible too, now she’s come around to the idea, it just took months and months! The most helpful thing I’ve found is talking to my dad about it. He told me to stop worrying and do what we want, no matter what we’ll never make everyone happy and in years to come the only people that will remember and look back to our day will me my FI and I. So we should have it our way and tell anyone who tries to interject their own opinion to ‘go plan your own wedding’. Hahaha.

Sorry about the vent! But you’re not alone, that convo with my daddio really changed my mind set about everything, and I found myself caring less and less about what people said (including my mom), now I’m back to being happy and excited about our day of love! Hope his words of wisdom can help you too! 🙂

Post # 14
Member
1891 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

You can’t please everyone. If you try to do so, you will end up being frustrated and resentful. I had like 45 people. Folks added on additional people last minute, but it worked out. You should have the wedding that you want to have. They are lucky that you are not going to elope just the two of you! I think your mom may have been hoping that you would have had a bigger wedding since your sibling did not. You are not responsible for her expectations. Folks tend to get over it in time. Once you are married things and people usually come back to earth. Congrats, and I am sure your wedding will be lovely! 

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